Post # 1
To next year 2014 July!
I am so gutted!!
Fi’s stepmom passed away and it would be wrong to have a wedding when the family is mourning and there are several traditions that have to be undertaken after someone passes. I just don’t know what to do, next year feels so far away! Everything was in place and ready to go. The family decided that it would be better to we’d after a respectful period. I am lost.
Post # 3
@fabange: Oh no! 🙁 So sorry for the whole family’s loss. I know you must be SUPER bummed about having to postpone, but it sounds like it was a family wide decision. Bummer!!
Post # 4
- Wedding: June 2014 - TTC #2
@fabange: I’m so sorry for your loss 🙁
Post # 5
I’m so sorry to hear this! 🙁
Post # 6
- Wedding: May 2014 - Smithfield Center
I’m really sorry you have to postpone your wedding, and for your FI’s family’s loss. That means you’re losing out on all the deposited money, too, right?
I agree that a respectable amount of time should pass before pursuing the wedding but why does it have to be next July? Why not sometime this fall or even next spring?
Post # 7
@cwedding14: I agree.
@fabange: I’m not sure what your religion is. But could you still get married this year? Or is the next year date what was offered by your venue and vendors?
Either way, I’m sorry for you loss.
Post # 8
OH bless your hearts girls.
As I said, I got so depressed when I heard the decision and everything/everyone was cancelled and I couldnt sleep a wink for thinking about it. We have waited 14 years for this day and it was going to be IT for us, our dream day.
This morning I went to church and they read our 2nd banns of marriage, I looked at FI and said no! we have to get married even if we dont have the big dream wedding. A year is simply tooo far and we may have moved again because of FI’s work. No! No! No!!
I know his family will think I am evil but there is no other way. Fi agreed with me and we spoke to his mum and told her we just couldn’t lose everything and so we are going to go to church and get married and then go for a dinner or something and still observe the rituals. Hopefully we can have a banging reception in a year’s time, if they don’t disown us.
It will just be his mum and blood siblings, no extended family from his side and then my family will be there as well. I know they will curse me when they find out but there is nothing I can do about it.
@gemchick82: In my tribe, it would be an insult to have a celebration of that kind before the year the passes. You have to shave all your hair off as a sign of mourning, a fire has to burn for a week, the heir has to be named and traditions performed, there are several funeral rights to be observed at different times of the year…. its a whole longggg process.
Also since Fi’s dad passed a long time ago, the 2 wives stayed close to keep the family together. Maybe I will make it up to them but once you piss of an inlaw, its over.
SO, it may be a wedding of sorts, but WE ARE STILL ON!!
Post # 9
@fabange: I wouldn’t postpone. Life happens, people pass away and that sucks, but why should you wait for something you’ve been planning that’s only two weeks away?
i understand that for you it seems to be a cultural thing, but even still. I don’t think I would postpone-it’s a joyous occasion that would bring the family together.
Post # 10
Oh no!! So sorry…I think you should get married like you said. Celebrate once the mourning period has passed. 🙁
Post # 11
@fabange: I am so sorry for your loss.
I was in a similar situation when I was 13 years old. My grandmother died 3 days before my bat mitzvah (in Jewish culture, an event of even greater importance than a wedding and on the same scale of planning as a wedding). I have no idea how my mother held it together but she did and I appreciate so much what she did for me. The day after, we flew to my grandmother’s home for her funeral. It was a weird hard time, but it was what it was and we made the best of it. My bat mitzvah was still amazing, despite the loss.
So, it can work! Blessings to you in the weeks ahead!