2 years married, and told him I never felt in love

posted 2 years ago in Married Life
Post # 2
2364 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

Miss Sardine:  Have you been to counseling, together or separate?  Did you marry him out of fear of being alone?  

Post # 6
1526 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2013


Miss Sardine:  When he proposed and on your wedding day did you feel in love with him?  Or did you marry him thinking you would eventually be in love with him? 

Post # 7
5935 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2013

Not sure why you even married him to begin with. In hopes that one day you might love him? That’s like having a child you don’t want in hopes that you might one day change your mind. Not a good idea.

Please do this man a favor and divorce him so he can find someone that actually loves him.

Edit: I just saw that you said you got married because you wanted to be engaged and wanted a pretty princess day….I just can’t right now

  • This reply was modified 2 years, 4 months ago by  IzzyBear.
Post # 8
114 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2008

Sounds like the seven year itch.

Post # 9
8389 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

Miss Sardine:  I can kind of relate, I had an ex-bf that I didn’t really love, but that seemed like a good match for me.  We were together for 3 years, had a great place to live, financially stable, got along great with each other’s families, etc., and to the outside world, we looked like we had a wonderful relationship.  The problem was, I just never felt that “click” with him.  He treated me well, but in the end I broke up with him because I just couldn’t see myself being with him for the rest of my life.  I do think it’s a little different if you’re married though, there must have been some reason why you thought it was a good idea to marry him right?  Maybe talk it out with a counselor and see if this is just a “phase” or if this is genuinely a marriage that shouldn’t have taken place.

Post # 10
1055 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2014 - Loft

Miss Sardine:  My opinion? I went through this with an ex. I finished school, got a job, found a new found sense of independence. Needless to say that relationship lasted about 5 months after I graduated and I had been with him for 4 years. I think you’re going through a new stage in your life. you are feeling accomplished and want to move forward as the independant woman that you are, unfortunately for your marriage that also means seperating your identity from your husand. Whether you love him or not is not the issue. I think you are just having a stage where you are redefing yourself.

Good luck to you and wherever your path may lead you. For me, that new sense of independance stuck around but got old pretty fast. I had just enough freedom to decide who I was and who I wanted to be. I ended up getting together with now FI 8 months after that breakup and found a happy balance in my life. Sometimes you just outgrow people and things, that is ok. To me that is what life is about.  Congrats on finishing school and this new chapter in your life!

Post # 11
867 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

Miss Sardine:  you got married because you wanted a wedding?! Wow. I wonder if you really know what love even is… Love sure makes your heart fluter in the beginning, but at the end of the day it’so about so so much more than that. it kind of sounds like you used him. He deserves better. 

Post # 12
6455 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2013

So you got married because you enjoyed wedding blogs and wanted to get engaged… Wow. You should cut him loose so he can find someone who loves him back.

Post # 14
1202 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

I don’t think it’s abnormal to graduate from school and have more time for introspection, and wonder about what you want from life, where is life taking you, all the opportunities you’ve missed out on.  Lots of people have a “quarter-life crisis” when they come out of school. 

Counselling isn’t a magic solution to everything, but in this case, it might help you define your expectations and your needs.  I will say that love is extremely hard to define.  In movies, it’s about big public gestures, racing heartbeats, poetry, grand sacrifices, epic battles, standing in the rain, running through airports, but we each have to discover for ourselves what love means.

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