Post # 1
I’ve been going on Weddingbee ever since I got engaged which as a little over a month ago and I finally registered.
Me and my fiance (it feels so good saying that) have been together for a little over 3 years and a half, and I’m so happy to be engaged.
I am 20 and he is 21 so we are still in school and living at our parents houses. I keep hearing that we are too young to be engaged, have any other bees experienced this and how did you cope with it? We are also going to have a long engagement since we will be paying for the wedding and need time to save up. How do we deal with a long engagement and when should we start perparing and planning for the wedding?
Thank you for the future help bees and I’m so happy to get your feedback.
Post # 3
Ususally start planning around a year and a half to go. No matter what you think you’ll spend you will spend more so what you do now is simple: SAVE.
Post # 4
@vmec: Thank you for the advice
Post # 5
We had an 18mth engagement and well you just plan and deal.
As far as ppl and their ideals/opinions you have to just not take it to he heart as offense. Most will only be out of their unwarranted opinion BUT some will be coming from a point of wisdom.. listen, take into account, and see and take every opportunity to grow with you FI to be prepared for marriage.
DH and I highly recommend this book Preparing for Marriage… you and your FI can get 2 copies and go through it yourselves…. it’s a great foundational start 😉
Congrats on your engagement, welcome to the hive, and good luck with your planning. pm me anytime for questions, advice, anything!
Post # 6
Yep, just save your money and ignore people telling you that you’re “too young.” Honestly, no one can tell you if you’re old enough. If you feel that you are and your FI feels that you both are, then don’t worry about others.
I hate the “age” debate, and generally stay out, but seriously – if people can present a REAL reason to not be married (like, personality issues, majorly irresponsible, cheating) then ok. But age is NOT a valid one to me when a couple is in a committed relationship.
Just SAVE money and FINISH school. 🙂 And don’t sweat the small stuff or the small comments.
Post # 6
This is me!
I am yet to write my engagement story, but me and R have been together for five years, He’s working and Im starting my last year of univeristy in September.
We have support from both sides of our family and I found thats all that matters. Of course people see my ring and look confusingly, obviously thinking we are too young. But if it worked in the fifties, there is no reason it cannot work now.
We’ll have the best wedding scrap books out there 😉
Post # 7
@runsyellowlites: Thank you for the book recommendation, I will be checking it out.
Post # 8
And thank you for all the congrats and advice
Post # 10
Im also 20 and my fiance is 21, so i know exactly what you mean!! My mom is getting use to it but my dads not to thrilled, we feel that if its ment to be age should not matter! There is no right or wrong way to fall in love or a “rule” for age
My fiance, Ryan is in the marines so hes away, and him being away makes us want to do this even more. We just want to start our lives together:)
If youve got a keeper hold on and just do it, no matter what anyone else says:)
Good luck and Congrats!!
Post # 11
@sloanashley: Yeah it must be hard for your dad to have his little girl get married but he’ll come around to the idea once he sees how much you guys love each other.
I mean the way I look at it, its better to be mature at a young age and be thinking about getting married not about getting wasted in a college campus.
Just hold on and im sure your dad will come around. Good luck and Congrats!!!
Post # 12
I would start making a list of things which are really important to you early on. Make him make a list too.It is good to start off knowing where you can compromise on price, because everything related to weddings is so expensive. What kind of things do you want to do yourself, or have a family member do? What things do you really want professionals for? Also, gathering addresses. It took me MONTHS to get a list of people, and then track down all of the addresses.
If you want a really hard to get location, and some places want you to book years in advance, check the dates. I would go nuts being engaged and not having SOMETHING to do for the wedding. I was too excited to just wait. I also think a good conversation about if you want a small intimate wedding, or a huge huge wedding is important. Do you want something very formal, semi-formal, casual? If you two can agree what kind of wedding you want, and you each know which details are the most important, wedding planning will be a lot smoother.
If you are a serious DIYer, I would start thinking of which projects you want to DIY, and how to do them. If you want everything done by hired professionals, you have enough time that people you know will be getting married before you and can give you great recommendations.
As for being too young to get married, you hear it sometimes. I’m 20 and getting married in a month, I know it is right, if other people don’t agree then they can just deal in their own way. I am doing what is right for me, and I hope that others do it in a way that is right for them. I always respond to people saying I am too young by saying “If I wait much longer I won’t get to celebrate a 75th anniversary!”.
Post # 13
@HZ: Awww I like your reply to all the “haters.” Thank you for all the advice, its really good and gives me a good starting point, you really did help me out
Post # 14
Same situation here , Sorta! I was 18 when we got engaged and I am 20 now and planning our weddding for May 2012. We knew we were going to have a long engagement because we were too young at the time and I knew I had to get out of high school and start college. We were together for 4 years when we got engaged and have been together for 7 as of March this year. I will still be in school when we get married but he will be graduating close to it. but Everyone is going to have a different opinion about everything and as long as the two of you are happy, then who cares what anyone else thinks! I started Planning in February of this year partly bc my sis was getting married in May of this year so I figured to wait till they were done with hers to focus on mine! Hope this helps!!
Post # 15
Hi there!! I’m in your boat as well!! I’m 20, and my FI is 22…we will have been together for exactly 5 years on our wedding day 🙂 The biggest thing I’ve found is, start planning and buying the little things now, so your expenses don’t pile on you all at once and when someone makes a “too young” comment, just laugh it off…people just have opinons and don’t know when to keep it to themselves. Anyways, good luck and if you need any help, just PM me!