(Closed) 20 year old brides..

posted 5 years ago in 20 Something
Post # 3
Member
899 posts
Busy bee

I was 19 when were we’re engaged in July and turned 20 in September. I’ll be 21 by the time we get married in December and my fiancé will be 22. I have a 31 year old sister who isn’t dating, a 27 year old cousin who isn’t dating, they are all bridesmaids. I thought it would be much more awkward than it’s been.

Occasionally it comes up that were young but not as much as I thought it would, and the people who have brought it up have said that we were young, no one has said that we’re not ready. Overall I haven’t been bothered by it.

Post # 4
Member
4722 posts
Honey bee

I was 19 when we got engaged, 20 now, and 21 on my wedding day. FH will be 23. We’re both the oldest in our families. No one’s said anything about us being too young, but I think it’s a Southern thing. 19-21 year old brides aren’t uncommon here. 

Post # 5
Member
4049 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 2014

I’m 20. We got engaged a month ago. I’ll be 21 when we marry in 11 months. He’s older though – he’ll be 29 when we marry.

I really haven’t heard much about my age. His sister joked that I would be a child bride (I found it funny – it wasn’t said in an offensive manner). When he first spoke to his mother about his plans to propose, she made the comment that I didn’t seem 20. That is all that’s been said. A lot of his friends were surprised to hear my age. They just assumed I was mid-20s.

I suppose the lack of comments has to do with several factors – for one, we’re long distance, and we have to be married in order to end the distance and get a visa. Otherwise we’d probably hold off another year or two to marry.

My FI is also in a stable place in life. He has a decent job, some savings, and is ready to settle down. So even though in my age and place and life where I am not as stable, he provides some foundation for which to build our lives. I would never marry at this age if my partner had few job prospects and no finances.

Post # 7
Member
595 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@Kafrine:  

Myself and FI will both be 21 when we get married. No one has said that we’re too young. Everyone has really been very supportive.

Post # 8
Member
1583 posts
Bumble bee

@Kafrine:  never let anyone else dictate your lifes timeline!

Post # 10
Member
27 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: August 2013

My fiancee and I are 23 and 24 and live in NY where everyone thinks we are too young!  People tell me not to marry my first love because they divorced theirs.  But, I have never questioned our marriage for a second.  We have been together for over 6 years, and lived together for the past 3.  We don’t take the idea of marriage lightly, and spent a lot of time making 100% sure that we are right for each other.

Those that are so willing to make judgement have alterior reasons for their negativity.

If you have spent time talking to your fiancee, found that he is your best friend and you trust him with every detail of your life, then all that matters is that YOU know!

Post # 11
Member
1430 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

That does suck. When we told FI’s parents, his mom told him that he was “so young though” to be getting married. Mind you he’s 21, we’ve been living together for almost 2 years now, and we won’t be getting married for another 2 or so years. Yet his mom was only 20 when she married his dad. So I don’t get that.

 

In the end though, it doesn’t matter what other people think or say. All that matters is that you and your FI are ready for that next step together.

Post # 12
Member
690 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

I’m 20 and my SO is 35. 

We got married in November although we aren’t having our wedding till May.

My dad loves him and never brought up that I was too young (which is huge because I’m his only daughter out of 4 kids and he was a single father) and his family obviously doesnt think he’s too young. My age has never been brought up with his dad but the rest of his family knows my age. 

Post # 13
Member
57 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: January 2014

I’m 20 as well, I will be 21 (almost 22) come wedding day, and my fiance will be 22. Though we haven’t had a lot of remarks made to our faces, there definitely have been age-based comments thrown around.

This is how I think about it…
I’d much rather be young and getting married, knowing I want to spend the rest of my life with someone- as opposed to being in my late 20’s and early 30’s having people ask “soo… when are you going to settle down?” only to end up marrying the first person I can find, out of fear that I was running out of time. It honestly says VOLUMES about getting married at a young age, especially after you’ve been with him for so long!

Post # 15
Member
4606 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

I was 20 and FH was 21 when we got engaged. I’ll be one month shy of 24, and he will be 24 when we get married. I haven’t had anyone say anything to me about being too young, but I live in Alabama, so it’s not uncommon for people my age to be married. Most people comment on the length of our engagament.

Post # 16
Member
543 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@Kafrine:  i am 21, will be 22 when i get married in june. My fiance will be 30 when we get married… at first i worried people would think i was too young/not ready.. but the only people who have made that comment are people who do not know me. Many people get to know me then find out my age and do not believe I am so young… but my point is age is not the important thing, it is where you are at in life.

if you are both at the same point in your life, it makes sense. you can’t decide how old you will be when you meet your soulmate, it just happens!

do not let it bother you!

also if someone comments on you being young just say “I know, I am lucky i met the person i am meant to spend the rest of my life with so early”

 

the only hard part is, people change so much in their lives… your different when you are 15, 25,35,45 etc. so just make sure you grow together and not grow apart

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