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That's outrageous! How do they expect anyone to attend their wedding if nobody can afford the hotel? I hope they don't expect a gift on top of that $400+!
I've been to a wedding in Nantucket, and all of the hotels there cost an arm and a leg and had minimum two night stays also. We paid nearly $300 a night for a hotel there and it was a total dump. Not to mention the cost of getting a ferry over to the island and back. Of course there was also the cost of plane tickets from Philly to Boston.
It is what it is, I guess. I suppose they feel that if anyone doesn't want to spend the money to attend their wedding, then so be it.
2-night minimum?! Why the hell would you stay two nights if it'sf or a wedding?
Ugh. Is there anyone you guys can share a room with? $200/night is a TON of money. I have never spent that kind of money on a hotel (business aside and I didn't pay!) because it'd have to be 5 star first class and I'd have to have won the lottery
How far away is it? Is there absolutely ZERO other choices? even a motel 6 or something???
I'm one of those people who think it's relatively inconsiderate to make your guests stay at super expensive places b/c you picked a weird location. Plus, couldn't they have bargained with the hotel, stating it was a wedding and only 1 night was necessary??
That is ridiculous! I'd be so pissed. I bet they're going to have a lot less guests than they'd like to have. Not everyone can comfortably spend that much. And, most people wouldn't need to be there for 2 nights, that's just wasted money. It sounds like they didn't even consider their guests, kinda dumb.
It depends on the hotel. Is it during a special weekend? that's why they may have a 2 day minimum. Is it a local chain? you can always call and book 2 nights, and if it's a hilton or something, go in online and change your reservation to 1 night. that's one way out of it. I think 200 a night is pricey, but not unheard of. If the place is a dump, then you should get upset. but i think you are just mad in general about this wedding - if you guys are going to go, just make the best of it. Or don't go, and don't worry about the hotels and logistics. You would be upset if they were on here saying the same about your hotel!
Its obnoxious, but sometimes a necessary evil. We went to a wedding this past summer that was like $250 a night with a 2 night minimum. Talk to the hotel though, they were willing to let us out of that minimum.
wow. yeah i have been to a few weddings like that - we ended up sharing a room with two other couples one time, and just ended up not drinking at the other and leaving early for the other. ugh
very inconsiderate. we didnt really have the $$ to pay for a gift for the couple either - so i hope they love crappy gifts.
One of the resorts we booked a block at is $165/night which is considerably cheaper than it usually is [$225] but we also have a hotel block at a hotel that's about $100/night so we have two price points. I think that's what most people should do especially when one is considerably pricier. The only reason why we're recommending the more expensive one: it's walking distance [think 20 feet] to the wedding and reception.
It wouldn't annoy me so much if they gave another option at a different price point, which is what etiquette says you're supposed to do. FI is looking into other options but it's not looking good, plus there will be no transportation there and we're not going to want to drive. I never EVER do this, but it may have to be one of those really cheap gift scenarios if we're spending that much for the hotel.
Congrats, here's a plastic spatula and a nice card.
Maybe is you guys find a hotel a ways away, you could share some kind of transportation with other couples who would want to stay at a cheaper place too!
This is my problem too: the closest accommodations (a really cute inn) require a 2-night minimum to get the group rate...
But just don't book as part of the room block and you can book your 1 night at the regular rate!
That's what I'm advising people to do who don't want to stay 2 nights.
Wow. With every post I read about this guy, he comes more and more of a jerk.
I don't think $200 is that bad. We intentionally decided to get married at a hotel in the city to make it easier for our guests who will all be from OOT. The rate for the 5-star hotel is usually over $350 for a night in June, but we negotiated them down to $200 for our guests. So for us, $200 is a deal. There's also no minimum and our rooms are free regardless of filling the block. Guests have already booked their rooms and thanked us up and down for getting such a good rate.
But we obviously also blocked another nearby hotel with a $140/night rate for guests who think $200 is too much. And there are hundreds of hotels within a 10-block radius including Club Quarters which I think is only about $80/night.
In your case, I hope the bride is prepared to have people RSVP with regrets b/c of the cost OR not get gifts from guests who are cash-strapped due to the hotel..
I'm kind of shocked because for my own wedding, I was able to negotiated with the FOUR SEASONS a $150/night with no minimum. Since I thought this was a lot for some people, I also found a cheap hotel that is $100/ night to give people the option.
What hotel is $200/ night? I mean, I can't imagine that it is nicer than the Four Seasons.
We are having our wedding @ a hotel-My room block is $199 per night which I know is expensive. A lot of my guests are booking via priceline...the only problem with this is that you do not get a refund if you cancel.
Whether you choose to stay at the hotel or not is the guest's choice - not the bride and grooms. Depending on the details of the location, there are likely much cheaper hotels that could be driven to at a distance instead. If so, don't drink at the wedding and stay at the cheaper hotel or drink at the open bar that the host is paying for and stay at the suggested hotel. It's the guest's choice - don't reduce the gift as a result. That's like reducing the tip at a fancy salon because you can't afford the hair cut. Don't get your hair cut there then. Similarly, don't stay at a hotel at all and drive home afterwards. Or don't go. It's not the bride or grooms job to ensure every guest is ok with the venue, hotel, etc. They have thier vision for the day and are planning a wedding and to be honest, they probably feel like their closest friends and family will be there and anyone else who doesn't want to travel or spend the money for a room won't attend (and they'll save big $ by not paying the per head charge for those guests - which based on the hotel room rate will be a significant savings).
The 2 night minimum is shocking but I dont think the price is. It depends on where you live and whats going on in the city then, but we got our room block for $169/night (no night minimum) and that was the cheapest we could find unless someone wanted to stay outside of the city.
It's not a hotel, it's more of a B&B in the middle of farmland so there's nothing else really around. It looks really beautiful and, believe me, I wish FI and I were like them and didn't have to care about money. I'd stay there in a second! But that's not how this particular cookie is gonna crumble.
It's one of those situations where we'd already sort of budgeted expenses for the year, including other weddings we knew we had in addition to our own wedding, moving, honeymoon, etc. and then all of a sudden out of nowhere comes this wedding which will be twice as expensive as what I consider "normal" (i.e. the average cost of weddings I've attended or even been in).
Bleh. I hate money.
Yeah it's really more the fact that it HAS to be for two nights. If it wasn't, FI and I would stay somewhere else the friday night (or maybe even just come on saturday depending on whether or not they are doing a rehearsal dinner) and stay at the more expensive place the night of the wedding because everyone will be there. Splitting $200 for one night wouldn't break the bank. Oh and he checked it out and if we booked outside the block for one night it would be $400/night, so that gets us nowhere.
I don't think the price is really that outrageous...the only hotels near my venue are $250/night or $400/night. It's a destination wedding though...
Oh well. I suppose you gotta do what you gotta do, right? At the very least this makes me feel a hell of a lot better about our hotel room block for $130/night. I felt guilty before and have other, cheaper options on the web site but now I'm not even gonna sweat it.
I agree with msmonicka - every post about this "friend" he seems worse & worse. Yikes!
Can you double up with another couple that's going? Sometimes FI & I do that when the hotel rooms are really pricey.
@Dancy - we thought about that but all of the guest rooms have king beds. we're close with some of the other couples, but not THAT close :)
Eesh... this situation gets worse and worse.
From reading your previous posts, it sounds like it's pretty important to your FI to attend this wedding. So "not going" isn't an option. So you have to figure out how to make this work. The two night stay rule is a little crazy, but considering that it's a B&B they are probably just trying to maximize their weekend- obviously, they can't book up their whole B&B for Saturday only, they would lose out on Friday sales. But that's just the hotel manager in me talking...
Back on track now... I think your options are 1) Find a different place to stay for the weekend that is cheaper. Yes, someone will have to be sober driver (I'm assuming that's what you meant when you said you guys wouldn't want to drive after the wedding), but you will save money. 2) you can get them a cheaper gift. I don't think that's crazy considering how much money you are spending to attend. 3) You sleep in your car; 4) You suck it up and pay.
I know this situation has been one frustration after another; I really do feel for ya.
Our wedding is at a vineyard 11, 20 and 30 miles from the nearest towns without any sort of close options besides B&B's and lake houses as well as being a busy weekend at the more 'destination' town 30 miles away. This location requires all of our out of town guests to get a rental car (no public transit). We were able to get a block of rooms for 110/night because we are just before the busy season. However, we have also suggested B&B's that are more expensive ($165-140/night) and camping options nearby that are cheaper (20/night).
Are there any state parks or campgrounds near by that would cut your costs? It may save you enough money to afford renting a car. Sometimes these places will have small cabins to rent as well. This isn't going to be living large but will definitely help you save some cash to attend the wedding.
Yeah, $200 a night isnt bad... but a two night minimum is BS
I don't think it is right for you to question their accomodation choice - BUT you don't have to stay there either. Stay sober, drive somewhere else cheaper to stay. Simple as that.
Just shaking my head here. The accommodations for our ceremony were $458 a night--but that was for a house with plenty of room for a dozen people and two dogs. And we paid for the whole thing, without asking any of our guests for a contribution. If each of our guests had had to pay $400 to stay there, I would definitely have been looking for alternative venues!
As someone working in the hotel industry...
Ask for their regular rate. And for a AAA rate if you have it. Often if you book early the price difference isn't that much, but at standard/AAA rate you probably won't have to stay for 2 nights.
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I'm kind of appalled by the fact that FI's GM who has just been a huge pain in the ass in every way since he got engaged not too long ago (I've posted about it a number of times already) and the most recent move is that they are getting married at a place in the middle of nowhere and we pretty much have no choice but to stay at the place where they are having the wedding which is $200 a night with a 2-night minimum stay, and this is of course before tax.
Does anyone else find this as obnoxious as I do? This is more than I have ever spent on a hotel room in my entire life, including places I've stayed on various nice vacations I've taken.