Post # 1
2011 can suck it. This could very well be the most trying year I’ve ever had. And the hits just keep coming. I would like to recap for you what has happened…
First- my one, and only aunt passed away from a rare form of cancer at the start of the year. We are still battling with the courts in order to get into her apartment. It has been about 14 weeks or so now.
Next up- my dad’s dad passed away in the hospital on the day he was supposed to be moved to rehab. This happened two weeks after my aunt’s death. On a happier note, he was 93 and was married 65 years.
And less than two month’s later we had another death. This happened to be my mom’s dad, and the father of my deceased aunt. He went in for heart surgery which was successful. After several days in a rehab facility he took a turn for the worse and passed away. He was just shy of his 90th birthday, but he too was married 65 years.
In addition to all of this, my family and I are being sued. We got the papers on the day of my first grandpop’s death. Perfect timing.
Now, a lot of other stuff has been going on…relatively minor in respect to everything mentioned above…but still it causes stress, both financial and emotional stress. But somehow I am actually managing to keep it together. Until yesterday…
My fiancé lost his job. I am just at a loss. I know we will get threw everything OK and he will find another job soon enough. But I just stop and say, “REALLY?!?! ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME?!?!?! WHAT ELSE YOU GOT!!!!”
For those who have been through or are going through difficult times, in what is supposed to be the happiest time ever (until you start having kids)…getting engaged and planning a wedding… how did you keep it together?
Post # 3
Wow–your life does suck:)
Take it one day at a time. Hire really good lawyers.
Your wedding is going to be a time of joy and celebration for everyone who is going through so much difficulty right now. It will be worth it!
Things WILL settle down. When they do and life is going well, really appreciate it. It doesn’t stay that way forever. It doesn’t suck forever either.
Post # 4
I’m sorry you have had so much going on in your life 🙁 My mother was diagnosed with breast cancer right after I got engaged, so I feel your pain!! Everything turned out great in the end and she is still cancer free!! Good luck 🙂
Post # 5
i have no advice, but i just wanted to send you a big, giant, cyber <HUG>! i hope the dark clouds pass soon, and leave you in a brighter place.
Post # 6
Try to focus on the positives in your life, and remember that every negative experience makes you a stronger person.
Post # 7
i am sorry you are going through this. i had a lot of things going REALLY extra bad in my life, and things got way worse about 2 weeks before my wedding (family stuff that i prefer to keep private). not to mention other stressors like my husband was supposed to have been finished his PhD and had a job long before we got married and it didnt work out due to factors beyond his control. i purposely kept a lot of the crap that was going on off wedding bee because i wanted this to be my happy, wedding planning place. basically though, i wanted to tell you that despite all the negativity and bad stuff, and i realy went through phases where i wished so bad i could postpone the wedding by a year to get past all this, my wedding up being PERFECT, i would not have changed anything about it and it was nice to have something GOOD take place! so think of the wedding as your silver lining in all of this, something to look forward to and think about when everything else is crappy.
Post # 8
That really, really sucks. I’m sorry you’re having such a tough time of it right now.
For me, a couple of years back was when I went through a really rough patch like this with family and work issues. Fortunately, not when I was planning a wedding. I don’t know if it will help you, but what I would try is to do is first of all, take it easy on yourself. You are under a lot of stress, so be good to your body (get lots of rest, drink water, take your vitamins, try to eat as well as you can, and get in some exercise every now and then), and also mentally, don’t be hard on yourself about things. I personally place a lot of responsibility on myself and have really high, perfectionistic expectations. When things get stressful, I have to repeatedly remind myself that something here or there might slip, and that’s okay. Totally not the end of the world. We are only human, after all.
Second of all, as much as you might be inclined to stay in and stew over the situation and not go do fun things, make time to go do things you like. Even if you think, “I’m so not in the mood for this right now,” try to go do something you’d normally enjoy anyway (go out with friends, go see a movie, etc.). It really will help relieve some of the stress.
Okay, so nothing earth-shattering in this advice – just thought maybe it would be a good reminder of things you can do to help keep your spirits up!
Post # 9
Thanks for the kind words and advice. Like PurpleUnicorn said, this will be my happy place. So no more debbie downer moments on here.
@CruiseWedding2010: I am so glad your mother is doing well!
Post # 10
Wow. 🙁 I’m so sorry. Hopefully you can remember 2011 as the year you got married, instead of a terrible year. I lost 8 family members/friends my sophomore year of high school. I still cringe when I think about it. Life sure does seem to hit hard when it wants to.
You’re in our thoughts!
Post # 11
I’m so sorry. January through April was like that for me too – I failed to get a good job, failed to finish my dissertation by when I thought I would, lost a very dear family friend (like an uncle to me) completely unexpectedly and at only 66 years old, fiance was long-term unemployed and depressed. He was going through his savings and within a month would have run out. We didn’t know what we were going to do.
Planning a wedding felt like the dumbest thing in the world to be doing.
Then, after almost a year of looking, within a week, we both got jobs. Not our ideal jobs, but good enough. It doesn’t bring back my loved one, and it will be a challenging adjustment, but just knowing that we’ll have some income is an enormous relief.
I say all this to let you know that even when the sky is falling in, it won’t be forever. Even if it feels like it will.
Hugs. Hang in there.
Post # 12
aww man..this is not your year! so sorry you are dealing with all this…
this was us in 2010…
- DH lost his job 3 months after the wedding, one month before our honeymoon. So, we had to cancell our honeymoon
- DH became very depressed because of job loss
- DH was sick during our move 400 miles away and he could not hardly move let alone help. So, yes I got to pack and unpack a 1900 sq foot house by myself.
- during the time DH was sick we were in between jobs so we had no choice but to use COBRA insurance. yup…1000 a month plus the bills from what was not covered…oh and all during the expense of moving!
- our car broke down during our move (400 mile drive). the car was full of stuff we did not have the movers take!
- the movers riped us off. (LONG STORY)
- I lost my grandmother 2 days before the wedding
- I lost my greatgrandmother
- my family hated me for moving which lead to much drama
I am sure there is more but that is all I can remember. BUT these are the things that got me through that hard year…
- I got a new job!
- we were relocating to a much better place
- I married the love of my life
- I ran my first half marathon
2010 was by far..not the worst year of my life but those issues were a little too personal to post. 🙂
Good luck and I hope this “bad year” goes by fast for you