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Hi there, I was just wondering how many real youngin's (21 and under) that are either engaged, or will be soon. How did/do you deal with the nay-sayers? And, for all of you that got married young, do you have any advice for brides on the young side?
I am 21. Waiting, but should be engaged before 22. Everyone who knows us is incredibally supportive and is just waiting for it to happen. With that being said we have been together 3 years, will have college degrees and secure jobs before we tie the knot.
I'm engaged and I'm 20! Mostly everyone was happy for me, or seemed happy anyway! Of course when I told some people they said things like oh well you are so young, you should really go do this and see that and travel the world and whatever. I'm happy and I'm old enough to know what I'm doing, I've got my shit together haha. But if you know it's what you want and you know who you want to be with, I say go for it. Age is just a number.
I'm 21! I'll be 22 when we get married.
To be honest, we haven't had many naysayers or any shocked comments from anyone. We've been dating for over 4 years and everyone kind of just knew it was coming. We're waiting until I have graduated college (he's getting his masters, so he'll have another year), so we haven't really had anyone say we're getting married too soon. :)
I'm engaged and will be married before I'm 21. Mostly I just ignore naysayers, because the ones that have said anything to my face wouldn't be happy no matter how old I was. They don't know me, my situation, or my FI and they happen to be the ones who are jaded by their experiences. That said, we were pressured to wait by some family members. We had a long engagement for ourselves and it's been enough to quiet anyone with anything bad to say.
I'm 20 now, will be 21 by the wedding, and everyone seemed legitimately happy for me! Actually, I'm one of the last ones in my group of friends to get married! I think the main reason people have been supportive of my FI and is because a) we have been together for almost 4 years and they see how much we really love each other and b) because we are financially stable and are both very responsible and they know that we'll be able to support ourselves. I think it's more about maturity and not so much age. I personally feel very lucky to have found my soulmate (as cheesy as it sounds) at such a young age! Just ignore any naysayers :]
I'm 20. We're getting married the day before I turn 21. I've had some good reactions and some bad. I had our ex-best man say that we're "wasting our youth". I was like, "actually, I still intend to enjoy my youth, but when I'm ready to slow down and start a family I'll already be a step ahead of you." F-ing people drive me nuts.
@stbMohror, I LOATHE the "travel the world" thing. It's not like I'm gonna die after the wedding!! I can't still travel once I have a new name and another ring on my finger?? And I've heard that one or other ones like it so many times.
Lol. I'm gonna stop before I get on a roll here.
@nurselindsey- I agree about the cheesiness, but I feel the same way. There's no un-cheesy way to say it :)
@MichelleMyBell- I love that you had a retort for your ex-best man, I tend to lack the sass in the moment, and sass back internally later. Lol
I was 19 when I was engaged and my husband was 20. We didn't get married until we were 21/22
i'm 19, 20 in 13 days.
i'm waiting, but N has promised me an engagement this year, and i'll be married by 21. he'll be 22.
for us, naysayers weren't really a problem, because we're both religious and it's very common for people to marry young in our community. that being said, my mom isn't a christian, and for her she wanted us to wait until N is finished school. i'll be done when we're married, but his program is like, 2 years longer than mine, so that wasn't going to happen.
I just turned 21. I only got a few naysayers since it's the norm around this area. Mostly I just try to ignore them and focus on the good.
@anariem - i LOVE that show. although granted a lot of the couples on there are REALLY immature in their relationships (IMO). but that's probably what makes the show so good :P
Im 21 aand he's 25 and we are engaged.. Everyone was soo happy for us when they found out that we were getting married.. We have not gotten not even "why so early? " We have been together for 4 1/2 years when he proposed so it was more of like "FINALLY!" Im so glad that everyone support us
I'm 21, though I'll be 23 when I get married. I too do not get the "travel the world" thing. How many young people DON'T travel the world but aren't chastised for not having traveled the world if they get married later, say at thirty? FI and I fully intend to do a lot of traveling and know we'll make enough money to support that sort of lifestyle (and hell, I'll be doing my field work in grad school in West Africa). Why travel alone, which can be dangerous, when you can share the experience with someone you love, and be safer while doing it? I'm sorry but I don't think people should travel the world just for the glorified "study abroad" experience so many college students do, where for six months or a year or whatever they live in a hostel, cut off their hair, and go clubbing every night and maybe contract an STD while taking a few throwaway credits at a university, socializing mostly with other English-speaking study abroad students and never actually interacting with people in the country they're visiting enough to stop exotifying them. Yep, sounds reeeeaaal transformative. 
There are some people who will never accept that you aren't "throwing away your youth" or something similarly dramatic, ridiculous, and over-simplistic, just because they themselves weren't ready to marry at a young age. That attitude is what shows real immaturity. Ignore them, and enjoy spending several more years than the average woman married to the man you love.
I'm 20, he's 21 & that's the age we'll be when we get married & graduate college, two major things at once! We got some naysayers when we got engaged at 18 & 19 (and barely, it was my 18th bday and he turned 19 a month before!) but now everyone has come around and some people have even said things like "I didn't think you were serious at first but now I can really see you're serious and you make each other happy" type comments.. Woohoo! :)
I mostly just ignore naysayers because they're never people that know us well at this point. I don't need to justify myself to them.
Engaged & Underage showed really immature couples (in the few parts I saw). I didn't like it.
Wow, ditto Veganglam! I love to hear reasons why people see an advantage to marrying young....seems like most people focus on the negatives and how to overcome them rather than the flat out positive! :)
When we were engaged we were 20/22, when we get married we will be 21/23. Most people were really expecting it to come I think - we've been together for 5 years, have lived together for 2 and have spent 3 months backpacking Asia together. That said, we are really young compared to most other Danes - I think the average age for marrying is about or just over 30 here. So, yes, I've had some evil stares from older brides, especially when trying on wedding dresses. Sigh - their problem, not mine. None of our friends nor familiy have in any way been other than positive, though.
I am SO. GLAD. to hear I'm not the only one who encounters the "travel the world" thing! When I tell girls my age I'm getting married, if they don't congratulate me and tell me how excited they are for me, they'll say, "Oh, I could never imagine settling down right after college. I am going to travel!" To me, this is just bizarre. I am partnering. That doesn't mean I am "settling down", and couldn't travel - with or without him! I realize there are things you sacrifice in a committed relationship, but I don't think traveling has to be one of them if you don't want it to be, not to mention that I would prioritize my FI in my decisions even if we weren't married! So that whole thing makes no sense to me at all. FI says they are just trying to overcompensate for their jealousy ;)
I was engaged at 18. : ) Really, it's so awesome, I just kind of tune out the naysayers...though, granted, I haven't really met that many. Most people know I'm engaged to begin with, assume I'm older, and are then shocked when I tell them how young I am. So...I guess I deal with it by taking extra care to act more mature? Really, though, I wouldn't worry about it -- if they're strangers, just assume they're jealous. : D (LOL!)
We're both 19 and will be 20 when we marry! I don't mind when people say things because I know they're not trying to be hurtful, I just try and be patient!
@Michellemybell, I know!! Why would you want to travel the world alone anyway? Seriously? I would rather do it with someone I love and can share those memories with, for the rest of our lives!
I'm ninteen and engaged, and will be married when I am twenty. We personally belive that loving someone is a choice, and we have chosen to love each other, and so we didn't see any reason not to get married. We've been together for four years, and we can financially support ourselves. I hear all the time that we are too young, that we're not mature enough, "why rush it". I just think that when you know you want to spend the rest of your life with someone, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible! The worst was at the Jewlery stores when we went ring shopping! People don't take us seriously, theres really nothing you can do but tell yourself they are stupid and judgmental : )
We're both 19, soon to be 20, and will most likely be engaged around 21. At that point we will have been together 5 years and living together for 3. We're waiting mostly because of financial reasons. Where we come from getting engaged/married young is widely accepted. I've only really had problems with my one uncle (I think because when he got married young it didn't work out) and two of my "friends".
Once we had been dating for about a year I knew that he was exactly what I would want forever ( : My best friend was super supportive because she's going through the same type of thing and most of my other friends thought it was cute and were really positive about our decision. Everyone in my family is super supportive too haha my brother especially because he really likes Chris and already thinks of him as an older brother. My uncle has been telling me that I'm so young and I should wait and see because maybe I'll find someone even better suited or more my type, etc. But the thing is, I don't want to try and find someone else "my type". I don't believe in soul mates really, I'm sure there are other people who would be good for me, but the thing that sets me apart from all that is that I'm done looking because I've found what I want. I'm just lucky because I found it early in life. I don't understand why that makes people think they have a right to say negative things about my good fortune ( : and as for my "friends", they both have been going out with their boyfriends longer so they kind of feel superior I guess? They tell me that things are going to get too hard and I'll feel stuck (like they're currently feeling) and I won't be strong enough to leave him if I'm engaged. or they'll bring up the travelling thing and say that they'd much rather wait and travel and go out and not become boring or stuck in the house and that I should wait with them. haha their arguements can at times be so pathetic it's funny; which is great because I need a good laugh once and a while. I'm just so happy that it's not just me getting the "travelling" thing haha.
Who has money to travel the world at 20? I mean let's be real. Boo to the nay sayers :-)
That being said I'm a little older and will be 26 when all is said and done, and still haven't gotten to travel anywhere.
im 20.. been engaged a few months and getting married in July.. We've been together 5 years and our family is VERY supportive of us.. we had many ups and downs especially while in college but we stayed strong. Our friends are also pretty supportive of us.. i think most people wait quite a while to get married these days and i totally understand their reasons... but we know we're meant for eachother and it really doesnt matter to us what others think. It will be a huge change for us since we have never lived together.
Plus, the fact that we're young makes it that much more exciting for me. We plan on traveling a lot (doesnt have to be around the whole world!!) and we plan on enjoying our young yearss to the fullest B4 having any kids! (even though i have a strong feeling we'll be having babies pretty soon =D)
i dont think age matters when its true love. You just know when you're ready...and we're more than ready! =D
I'm 20 and so is my FI! We were 19 when we got engaged. We'll be 22 when we get married.
We've been together for quite awhile - it'll be 8 years at the wedding.
I think that the traveling thing is probably one of the dumbest reasons I've heard for not getting married/engaged. I mean seriously, if I want to travel my FI isn't going to stop me and I've already half planned a few trips that we'd like to go on someday together. I got my traveling out of the way early: visited 5 European countries at 15, frequent traveler to Canada for several years, lived in Alaska and worked an entire summer there on my own at 14, lived in Portland for nearly a year, and FI's parents are planning on taking us and all of his bros/sis and their spouses on a cruise next April for their 50th wedding anniversary. I've already done more traveling than a lot of my hometown ever will. FI and I are planning on going (back for me) to France for a short time so that he can do a few culinary exams and get his "egg hat". It should be a blast and I'll be even happier to be married to him and celebrating it rather than being a tag-along girlfriend.
I'm 21 and FI is 22, same ages when we get married. My family has been very supportive of us, we have been together for about two and half years and in that time half of it has been LD and for 5 months I was abroad. The only really comment I've had was last summer at Frontier Days (a giant 2 week rodeo in Cheyenne, WY). I was buying some kettle corn and the vendor thought it appropriate to comment on my ring and ask why I was getting married so young. I have been told that I can look as young as 16; however, that does not give a total stranger the right to comment....sorry it just ticks me off. My mom was married by 21, FI parents at 19, both sets grandparents at 18 and all are still together
I'm 20 (will be 21 on our day), and my fiance is 24 (was 23 when I said, "Yes!" and will be 25 when I say, "I do!"). I have had some naysayers, but I just remind myself that we are all have different priorities in life.
I would find it funny if someone told us that we need to travel before we get married. I have been lucky to live in Belize for 7 weeks with an internship and in then France for four months with a wonderful French family. My fiancé grew up in England and has quite the impressive travel record. Although we both love traveling, we wouldn't put off marriage with hopes of traveling alone. Believe me, being engaged (or just being in love and in a serious relationship as I was in Belize) and in a foreign country for a long period of time without your fiancé is not natural. Besides that...we have to work! On our wedding day, we will both have graduated from our dream university (it always helps when I tell the naysayers that I will have actually graduated from college before we get married) which means we have a significant amount of debt!
We'll both be 21 when we get married in June. I haven't really encountered any snarky comments from people who know us - We'll both be college graduates, we can support ourselves financially, we now own a home, and we're getting married a week before our 6.5 year anniversary. We go to different schools, so we're in a long distance relationship right now and people I've gotten to know at school (that don't know him) used the whole 'Why would you want to settle down?' and the 'Don't you want to travel and live life?' lines at first. I've never understood them either, but I guess they just don't realize that the person you want to spend the rest of your life with won't prevent you from doing those things - They'll enhance the experience!
i'm 21 but was 20 when I got engaged. my fiancee is 7 years older than me and his family has never mentioned the age difference. My mother and father don't care i mean, we have been together 4 years this may. the only people who seem to have a problem are my sister who is older and in a relationship but not engaged and my aunt. My sister is coming around but my aunt's reaction was the worse. The day we got engaged we called our families, i'm really close to my cousin - my aunt's son. so i called the home phone and my aunt answered, i said "i'm engaged" and she said "no! you're too young" it pissed me off but i told her i knew what i was doing and haven't heard another word about it since. i didn't let it ruin my day but it was a terrible thing to say on her part.
I think the reason people say "travel first!' is because as soon as you get married your passport is revoked and an ankle bracelet fitted, so if you stray more than 20 miles from your house you will be wrestled to the ground by ninjas.
Or not.
I've just turned 21, and I'm pretty sure I'll be engaged by the end of May. FFI is 23. We are planning a November 2012 wedding so by then I'll be 23 and He'll be 26. The only reason we are waiting that long though is for financial reasons. We could afford a small wedding now, but we have large families and I want my dream wedding, (which isn't expensive, just with lots of guests.) So we will save up and throw a ripper party!
lol, Roux. Thanks for making my day so early in the morning. :)
Hi there, I'm new to the site. But I wanted to chime in. I am 21 and he is 27. We met online and after a few months had issues. I knew I wanted to only be with him during that "break" and we eventually got back together. During that time and up until recently my family has said why do you wanna be with him this and that. I got heated a couple of times but stood my ground because i know without a doubt he's mine one and only. What anyone else says doesn't matter to me. The only thing that matters is that we love each other and commit to each other whole heartedly. As for how old we'll be when we are married, I will be 1 month shy of 22 and he will have turned 28.
I just turned 21 and he will be 22 next week, we are getting married this september.
His family is estatic, mine is happy, but reluctant due to age. Most naysayers are divorced people I work with, other than that people are happy.
@roux LOL LOL LOL! that made my day :) awesome!
I am 23 now (oldie! hehe) but got engaged at 22 and honestly? I would have done it even sooner! I say good for all of you and congrats to us...we get to enjoy our hubbys for our 20's ;)
@Roux My FI and one of our GM's were totally gut-rolling over that. Needless to say, they love ninjas.
I was engaged at 20 and I'll be 22 when we're married (21 now). FI will be 21. Lucky for us, our families are wonderfully supportive. We are actually OLDER than all of our parents and most of our gradnparents were when they were married. All of the ones who were married younger than we are are still happily married. When you know you know :-)
I'm 21 and my FFI just turned 20 in January. My dad is actually advocating for us to get married soon (not that he would have to push much! Haha!) I don't know what will happen when we're actually engaged, but anyone who thinks I'm not mature enough to get married this young probably doesn't realize that I took care of an almost terminally ill dialysis patient for 3 years and I am a financially responsible individual with a level head on my shoulders. :p
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