- 5 years ago
- Wedding: June 2014
Okay, I don’t know if this is considered emotional but I’m just a little bummed. I am 23 years old right now turning 24 at the end of this month. I FINALLY just finished my undergraduate and got my bachelors January 2013 (so very recent).
A little back story to why it took me so long. Okay, so I got pregnant during my last year of college. Which slowed me down. Oh and getting pregnant and having a baby out of wedlock was a horrible experience for me since my family was against it. They were so embarrassed they would not allow me to attend family events and didn’t tell anyone about my pregnancy and when people asked why I didn’t go they would say oh she’s not feeling well. They have accepted it somewhat now, but when they found out my FI and I are planning to have a wedding ceremony and reception they were totally against it because they don’t want me to showcase the shame i brought to my family. By the way i’m chinese so it’s a big deal in my culture. My parents are refusing to attend my wedding (it’s okay I’ll live. I still love them). They want me to just quietly get married at a courthouse. Anyways back to me not having a job. So, I ended up taking some time off of school and started going part time like one class a semester. My college doesn’t offer online classes which sucked.
Sooo, right before I graduated I got a job with a very large and well known company doing marketing for them, however, it was nothing what I expected and I just loathed the job. I would come home miserable and complain to my FI everyday and I just hated what it made me become. So I ended up quitting in October (worked there for 8 months). Ever since then I’ve been home with my daughter everyday and finishing my degree. But now I’m done with school and I want to go back to work. I do not want to be a stay at home mom. Don’t get me wrong I love my daughter to death but I always knew I wanted to be a career woman with an amazing job at an amazing company making tons of money. (not the case right now as I’m sitting my ass at home right now)
Ugh I just haven’t had any luck with jobs lately. It’s kind of my fault to because I’ve become so sluggish and keep procrastinating so I haven’t really applied to anywhere. I spoke to a career counselor at my college and he told me to make sure I don’t leave any gaps on my resume or it will look bad. He said I am okay as of right now since I had school to cover the gap from October to now. But my graduation date is January 2013 so that means I need to hurry and find something for February. He said if I can’t find a job then volunteer, just don’t leave any gaps. But it’s hard for me to just volunteer since I have a daughter. I would need to leave her at a daycare and with no income that is just not going to happen. Arghhh, what to do? I didn’t tell my counselor I had a kid since I didn’t think it was relevant but should I tell employers the reason for my gap is because I had to take time off to watch my 1.5 year old daughter? Should I even bring it up?
Man I’m just bummed and I know part of it is my fault for slacking. Can’t blame anyone but myself. I just lost the motivation to go out and look for jobs evgen though I know I don’t want to be a stay at home mom. What’s wrong with me?
Sorry for the LONG rant and any grammatical errors, I am the type to not reread my work.