Weddingbee boards

I don't think expecting a card is out of the question but expecting a gift might be a reach. It tough times for people now, so always keep that in mind. 

The one year rule is odd to me and I think there was some discussion on this earlier today (I can't find the thread). For me (and some people on that thread) I would say about three months is about as long as I would give someone.

Are you just holding the card so that if they do send you a gift you can thank them, or are just debating sending a card, period?

I would just send the cards. 

Plus, your guests don't know (although they can assume) that you paid $300 a head, and you shouldn't use that as a measure of what the expect. Rich people are cheap, that's why they're rich. Case in point, FIL is very wealthy, he gave us $100. Make it $200 if you count that he paid for our brunch the next morning. Where is the logic in that? I have no idea.

The thing is, while it'd be nice to get a gift, it'd also be nice to be acknowledged in some way via a card. Even a note on notebook paper. But from these 25%, I didn't get ANYTHING.

Totally understandable, people are just weird though, ya know? It's like trying to understand why your aunt bought you hideous thanksgiving theme kitchen towels and not a spatula. These things just don't occur to people.

You can and should expect a gift from every guest.  Etiquette dictates that every person invited (note, not attending) gives a gift equivilent in value to what they eetimate it costs the hosts to host them.  Now, obviously not everyone will or can do that, but to not even bring a card is simply unacceptable.  I'd be pissed.  Send your trank you cards as soon as they are done (and do them as soon as possible) to all the people who did already give gifts and wait for the rest; send when a gift comes.

EDIT: you should wait a few months to a year before really being pissed about it; they do get a year to send gifts; likewise, you get a year to thank them, but it's easy to forget about the thank yous if you wait that long.

@sherryberry:  Agreed.

Should people at least give you a card? Etiquette says yes, I would say yes. But some people just don't. I wouldn't reconsider my friendships with people just because they forgot to run to the store to grab a generic card.

Send your thank yous to people who gave gifts and don't send one to people who didn't give you anything. If you get a card/gift from someone in another week, or another month or 3 months, send a thank you card at that time.

ETA: And I think even cards can be expensive for people who are really tight on money, sometimes I literally don't have enough cash in my account to buy lunch- much less spend a few bucks on a card. Some people are worse off than you probably realize.

I'm at a point now where I'll be honored if people give up time to spend the day with us. A card or gift would be nice, but not expected.

BTW, there ave been times when I've mailed a gift from the registry and not brought a card. My bad!

As for the comments that the economy is rough and times are hard:

The whole point behind wedding gifts and shower gifts and all that is that a community can share the expense of helping its children start their own lives.  If that entire burden in tough times fell on just the bride's and/or groom's parents, the happy couple would not be able to start a new home together.  Instead, we give a bit here and there to others and generally get it back at other times.  That kind of reciprocity makes things possible at times like this.  No one says that every gift has to be new and expensive.  Heck, these guests could've made you a card or given you some homemade jams or a collection of treasured family recipes, etc.

Thinking about it some more, why fixate on the minority that didn't meet you expectations when 75% of your guests DID get you gifts?