(Closed) 29 days UNTIL wedding, but want to ELOPE! HELP

posted 4 years ago in Elopement
  • poll: If you were a guest (friend or family) how would you react to finding out we had eloped...
    be upset and mad, probably wouldn't have come : (22 votes)
    52 %
    be happy for the couple and ready for the fun reception : (20 votes)
    48 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    61 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: October 2014

    @youngORbride:  so you’re still planning to have the reception but not the ceremony? I’d totally be fine with that As a guest. It’s still a fun celebration, I wouldn’t have any negative thoughts of you eloping first

    Post # 4
    Hostess
    7568 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: January 2013

    You should have told everyone this before they made sacrifices and booked tickets. If I paid a lot to fly in and found out you guys were already married, I’d be upset. 

     

     

     

    Post # 5
    Member
    3645 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2015

    If you are still having a full ceromony for those that flew in, I think that that is fine. They are still coming to see what they always thought they were. Just make it clear that although you are already LEGALLY married, this is what you consider to be your spiritual binding and want everyone to bare witness to it. 

    But make it clear that you are already married, people get upset when they find out later.

    Post # 6
    Member
    3645 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2015

    @AlwaysSunny:  But isn’t this similar to a couple having two ceromonies for two different cultures or religions? One is technically “fake” but to the couple and their guests they are both very real and hold different, but still very important meaning.

    Post # 7
    Member
    9956 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: December 2012

    Need more info…

    Are you having one ceremony (the Elopement) or two ?

    That would make a BIG difference in my mind in regards to what type of event you are actually hosting…

    Wedding Celebration OR a Vow Renewal…

    And “there can be” different Rule of Etiquette for each

    (and for good reason… such as upsetting the Guests)

     

    Post # 8
    Member
    3403 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    As a guest I would be sort of confused, but it certainly wouldn’t keep me from coming and enjoying myself.

    You have quite the situation on your hands, and in my opinion, if your guests are going to be angry enough about a logistic of your cermony, then they probably should stay home and let the more loyal friends and family support you on your big day.

     

    Post # 9
    Member
    453 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: November 2013 - Garden

    I’d be upset but I’d still try and be happy and have a good time. We have family flying in as well and I’d feel guilty as hell if they’d paid for tickets to come all this way, but at the same time I know that they’d be upset with me so maybe that’s why I feel this way. If I thought nobody would mind then I’d probably elope too!

    Post # 10
    Member
    122 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    How would your dad react to you eloping with him + your mom? Have you talked this over with him? It sounds like you are trying to avoid drama but as much as he seems to dislike your mom eloping with the two of them along might cause more.

    As for your family and friends, if you were to elope, I’m not sure I would tell them you were already married. They are coming to see a wedding and I think they would be a tad upset if you eloped first.

    Post # 11
    Hostess
    7568 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: January 2013

    @Everdeen:  The main difference is that the guests would know there would be another ceremony before they decided to come or not. Also, the ceremonies would be independent and unique – one would be for the American governement/culture and the other would be for the other cultural traditions. The guests would probably be familiar with the cultural traditions they’re honoring. The OP made it sound like the ceremonies would be the same so the guests would probably compare them and think that one was more “real” than the other. 

    Again OP, that’s fine if you want to do tha. I understand why. It sounds like you’re in a pickle. Just make sure everyone knows what’s happening before they make plans. 

    Post # 12
    Member
    3645 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2015

    @AlwaysSunny:  Perhaps I’m misunderstanding the OP but I thought she was having a very small ceremony and then a large one + reception in order to avoid family drama. So it ends up that different people are at either wedding. Whilst the first and smallest one will be the legal on, it sounds like the second one will be the most meaningful. So although there are no huge cultural differences, both have different people and very different vibes and purposes.

    OP, if you are worried, why don’t you just have the big party first, making it the legal ceremony, and the smaller one for the other family members afterwards. 

    Post # 15
    Member
    930 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    I think you are going to create more drama by doing this, which is the opposite of your intention.

    The topic ‘29 days UNTIL wedding, but want to ELOPE! HELP’ is closed to new replies.

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