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of course it is o.k.! The arrival of this baby isn't any less special than the first. You just may not need all the same stuff as you did the first time
I've heard of a second shower being called a "sprinkle" and being smaller than a shower. I think this is 100% acceptable.
With the age difference I think it might appear less like that. There are a lot of different items out there than there were 9 years ago, so I think you will be okay.
I dont really know what the etiquette is, I attended a shower for a second baby but the 1st was a boy and the 2nd was a girl, I dont know if that makes a difference?
Pretty much everyone I know has a baby shower for every baby, regardless of the age between kids. I think this is one of those, "if it's common in your area/social cirlce, it's ok to do." Is it pretty common in your area and with you friends/family?
First of all, if there's a 9 year age gap then you probably need all new stuff anyways. Most of the things you had used with your first born aren't considered "safe" anymore (BPA free baby bottles for example).
Secondly, I think it's silly to say you can't have a baby shower for your second child. What makes it any more "gift grabby" than for the first? Yeah, if there's only a few years between the kids and you register for a whole new nursery set just because you want a new one, that's a little much, but any shower includes gifts!
Thirdly, I don't care if this was your tenth child and they were all exactly 9 months apart, if people are offering to throw you a shower, I feel like it would be more rude to say no, then it would be to graciously accept it! They want to celebrate the new baby (their new grandchild), why should you take that away from them?
my mother had my sister 8 years after she had me and she had a shower. she then had my other sister ten years later. the third was a late comer lol. she had a shower each time. no one thought anything of it simply because it was so far after any previous showers. And ill be honest here, if i happened to have another child at any point from here on out I would totally accept a shower if one was offered for me. my son is now 6 and I know i have nothing really from when he was a baby.
I think every baby is worth celebrating, and I can't imagine anyone would think you were gift grabby with your last baby being born 9 years ago! I mean, the whole thing I always found weird about showers is that it seems so much about presents - so in reality, every shower is a bit "gift grabby" right? If for some reason you didn't need stuff you could always have a gift-less shower, but I bet you need things and if people are willing to throw you one, go for it! No one has to go if they don't want to.
I think it's fine, but the whole point of a baby shower IMO is to shower the newly expecting parents with things they will need since the idea of parenting is still foreign and they aren't prepared for what's coming.
But I like the idea of showers for 2nd, 3rd, etc. babies, it just needs to be different. Like for example my sister went to the spa with family and friends for her 3rd. You could throw a little party in honor of your new baby so it's a little more low key than a full-out baby shower, but people will still bring gifts.
I'm an etiquette-stickler and I think you are fine, esp with 9 years between the kids :) Congrats!
I had a second shower for my youngest and they are only 4years apart. I don't see a problem with it.
All showers are pretty gift grabby, so I don't see why this would be any different. I think it's a cultural thing, in my culture a 2nd shower is a no no, but if it's the norm I would go for it.
I don't think there's anything wrong with them, you're not forcing anyone to go. I don't go out of my way to attend 2nd showers as much as people's first showers but then again 9 years is a big difference between kids so your guest list may have changed quite a bit. I didn't even register for my wedding because I felt self-conscious about asking people for gifts but goodness, I'm at a point in pregnancy where I'm large and uncomfy and pampering and goodies sounds fabulous. I'd kinda feel bad for 2nd time mommies having other kids to chase, plus being super pregnant and not getting as pampered.
I say yes becuase of the fact that your first child is 9 yrs old, now if your first was a lot younger I would say no and only close friends/family if they offered.
I think it's ok-especially with that big age gap. I find second showers completely ok. Mostly because it's not to just get the things you need for the new baby; but guests want to celebrate!
I threw my sister a "sprinkle" for her 2nd baby. Her daughter was 3; and she was having a son. She had most of her essnetials; but we kept the guest list much smaller than the 1st one; hosted it at my home; and people brought mostly boy clothes & blankets. She & her husband bought the new stroller and pack & play; but guests got tons of clothes for them
i think it's totally appropriate to have a shower for a baby nine years after the other! you probably don't have a lot of usable items left from the first. as for the showers where people have had another baby with in a couple of years, i think it's fair to expect those to be scaled down versions, less focused on big gifts and more just a celebration.
i have noticed that even if it has been a while between the children and there are new needs for whatever reason (like a friend of mine who was having twins after having a single baby first), people tend to give a lot less & more of what they want to give, not so much what's on the registry, so i guess just adjust your expectations accordingly & enjoy the fact that you have wonderful people that want to celebrate with you!
Of course it is acceptable! It's not about getting gifts, it's about celebrating the new life! My mom was heartbroken when my family didn't throw a shower for me (her second baby), especially because she always went out of her way to throw showers for everyone else's babies--and yes, 2nd, 3rd, babies! Not throwing you a shower would be unacceptable to me.
I think each baby should have a celebration. Of course, you shouldn't register for the same stuff, or the same amount of stuff, each time but I think having a shower is fine. The age gap doesn't matter to me, I would attend if it was baby #1 or baby #3.
i had a shower with both my girls I did get ALOT more at the first (so dont expect the same amount of gifts).... But I dont see why you cant have one you still need stuff for the baby!
Ok thank you for putting my mind to ease :)
I'm in the each baby deserves it's own celebration boat. And no it's not about gifts, it's about seeing family and friends you don't see often :)
Thank you
I think with the age gap you're okay otherwise I think it's kind of weird. My friend just had her third baby and instead of a shower she had a "pamper party" where all the girls just brought a package of diapers in different sizes. I liked that idea since she already had all the stuff she could possibly need.
I think you are are safe regardless with the 9 year gap, but I think making it more of a "sprinkle" or "sip and see" (afterwards) would be even safer. If you want it to be more of a celebration, you could just not register. Then, if you need a bunch of stuff hopefully you will get some gift receipts or GCs.
Absolutely fine! I am hosting a shower for my dear cousin this summer and her first born son is 10! We've been waiting to celebrate this joyful addition for a long time!
Congratulations on your pregnancy! Enjoy the party!
It's totally fine...I am a little worried about this too, for the future. I do not have children, but my FI has a 3 year old, and I almost feel like it would be weird for me to have a baby shower....but I know that's just my crazy talking and that is not a normal person's thought process! LOL
Have fun at your shower!
I would generally say that 2nd showers aren't typical, but there are always exceptions and the age difference is that exception to me. My son is 16, and if/when my FI and I decide to have another, we will have a shower... I mean stuff from 1994 isn't going to cut it anymore.
I think it is absolutely ok! What are the chances of you having the baby stuff you had NINE years ago? It doesn't seem gift grabby at all!
I don't understand being only allowed one. It is a new baby and its life should be celebrated the same! Also, it has been 9 years... you will need some new stuff.
I guess second showers are the norm around here, regardless of age/sex. I threw one for my cousin a few years ago when her daughter was 2, and she was having another girl. We still had about 50 guests. Hmm, the things you don't know, I guess!
I'm throwing a second shower for my sister. At first honestly I was kind of against it and thought it was a gift grab. But really you should celebrate all babies, why should only the first one get the pictures and cards and presents to remember their celebration. The second one we are doing way more low key than the first. Its more like a open house and come meet the baby than it is a shower.
Isn't the whole point of a baby shower for it to be a gift grab? I don't mean that in a bad way - it just has always seemed to me that the whole point is to shower the mom with things the baby needs - regardless of it being the 1st or 2nd, 3rd, etc. So, I think it seeming "gift grabby" isn't really a valid concern.
Honestly, I think it is ridiculous that people say it's wrong to have a shower for the second. What if the baby isn't the same gender as the first? There's something to be said for recycling but you can't use EVERYTHING from a boy for a girl and vice-versa. Have a baby shower and have fun! Also, with such a difference in age you won't be using much if anything you have from your fisrt.
I am going to disagree. It would be highly unusual with my family and friends to have a second shower, regardless of the situation.
It doesn't mean we aren't happy for her, or that a small celebration (luncheon, cocktail party) isn't in order, but a full-on shower is just gift grabby. I would certainly bring a small gift when the baby is born.
I have been invited to a couple of these and no, I do not attend.
I think it is completely acceptable. Each child is different and its not their fault they were born in a particular order in the family. I think it is nice for the children when they are older to have their own special things. I am the 2nd girl out of 3 and mum has kept all our own special cot blankets that were made especially for us.
A few of my friends have more than one child and they had themed baby showers for the second or third ones, eg a book shower where all the guests brought books or else soft toys as the parents do usually already have most of the baby things they need.
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This baby is my 2nd, my son is turning 9 years old tomorrow. My Mom and MIL offered to throw us a baby shower in August or Sept (due Oct. 9). Would it be bad of me to accept or want one? I've heard people refer to 2nd showers as being "gift grabby" and only wanting free stuff. Just curious.