2nd Cousin Added Herself to the Guestlist via Facebook

posted 3 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
3199 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@TaurianDoll: Woof. No. Send her a PM and politely tell her sorry, there isn’t any room for extra guests and you’re sorry that you couldn’t invite her. 

Post # 4
Member
926 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I recommend playing the “We are having a very small intimate, immediate family only wedding” card.  Maybe she’ll understand?

Post # 5
Member
1689 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@TaurianDoll:  How rude!  Stick to your guns: you don’t want people to bully you into adding them. 

It’s perfectly acceptable to say, “Unfortunately, in order to keep it small, we’ve limited the guest list to immediate family only” or local family or whatever your reasons are for inviting those 2 cousins.  People understand not being invited if there is a reason. 

Post # 6
Member
12 posts
Newbee

I would just kindly let her know, due to limited space you wished you could have her attend but you can’t. If she just doesn’t take the hint, let her know its an adults only wedding and if all of her potential babysitters are at your wedding, that should take care of that.

Post # 9
Member
2828 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

@TaurianDoll:  “When I got engaged, she COMMENTED on a photo and said “OMG! WHO IS THIS MAN!? WE NEED TO TALK!!” No.”

I scream-hollered at this. Thankfully, I’m not at work! You already know the answer to this question “hey, thanks so much for your well-wishes. We’re actually keeping it very small and local. Hopefully, the next time we’re in your area we can have dinner and I can introduce you to my husband. You’ve never met, right?”

That last clause is my own special brand of snark, so feel free to exclude it, but the point of it is “chick, you don’t KNOW us. Why do you think you would be invited to my wedding?!”

Post # 11
Member
2828 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

@TaurianDoll:  ETA (based on your draft): I don’t think you need to explain that it’s a child-free wedding. It makes no difference to her because she’s not coming. Also, If you must explain why you deleted her comment (I wouldn’t), I would explain that it was  inappropriate of her to post in the first place, not that YOU have some super sensitive facebook rules. Something like “this type of thing is better discussed in private, don’t you think?”

Post # 13
Member
11379 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2012

@TaurianDoll:  how rude of her.  i think what you have drafted up is ok but i would probably remove the “several” close friends and change the sentence to “we are only inviting immediate family and a few close friends.”

your way looks like your friends are more important than family.  you don’t want to start that with her.

Post # 14
Member
3199 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@TaurianDoll:  that sounds great! just so this dim-bulb understands, i would explicitly state “We are inviting several of our closest friends and our immediate families, so I’m sorry that we couldn’t include you.”

Post # 15
Member
3199 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@mypinkshoes:  +1 i’d definitely say immediate family and close personal friends only. eliminate the word “several.”

Post # 16
Member
3199 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@TaurianDoll:  Guest-Zillas. Lol. I guess WeddingBee IS kind of that show, though. we get on here and 0.o all day to people’s guests’ bizarre behavior.

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