Post # 1
So we’ve been discussing money a lot lately and I’m starting to realize we have none!lol. Don’t get me wrong we pay our bills on time but we both hold down entry level jobs (30-40hrs) and can’t save any. We bring home about 1,200 a month between the two of us 🙁 I am fortune enough to have a step dad who pays for my cell phone still.( still locked in on the family plan since middle school.lol) however that’s the extent of help we get from family. I also am a full time student and will be re-entering nursing school in Jan. I think it might be nice to get another side job maybe working 15-20hrs and we would use that money strictly for the wedding….However, I’m kinda resentful towards the FI because he only works after 3pm (atthe earliest) and has 3 days off(sunday is an exception and he works a 12hr shift) and isn’t in school so I feel like he has more free time than I do. I casually mentioned thinking about maybe getting a second job to help save for the wedding and all he said was, “ok.” I was hoping that he might say something about how maybe he should since I currently have more on my plate at the moment.
Post # 3
I lost the rest of my post somehow?
any suggestions on how I can bring it back up more directly? I dont want him to feel like I think he doesn’t contribute, I just want some help in saving for the wedding! It’s not for almost 3yrs so I think this is a realistic goal…
Post # 4
@MrsJBaggett: Could you give us a rough weekly timeline? It would be easier to see.
At the end of the day though, I think school equates to a 20hr/week job. So if you’re doing that and a 40 hr a week job, you are up for 60hrs a week. If he only has a 40 hr a week job, he needs to step up. Make sense? Hahaha.
If you feel like you two work equally, you both need to contribute with another job, no matter how small tiny jobs add up!
Post # 5
@MrsJBaggett: Actually with 3 years to go, perhaps some seasonal work would be best? Then he won’t feel so run down all throughout the year and possibly end up resenting the extra job?
Post # 6
I feel you on the low income part. FI and I currently bring home about the same amount. It’s funny we were talking about wedding and money stuff tonight and we just don’t know where its going to come from.
Anyway. I think you just need to be frank with him. Tell him your worried about money and would like to have a nice wedding and you feel like the both of you should be working extra hours for the next 3 years to contribue money to the wedding fund. It may not be all the time, seasonal works or temp jobs, so neither of you get burnt out, but when you both can contribute I think you should.
I would see what he says and go from there. Since you cant make him work a second job, you might have to adjust your expectations if he simply does not want to work another job. I would be miffed, but then again I love my days off and the thought of working another job for the next 3 years to afford one day of my life, doesn’t appeal to me. I’ll gladly take city hall and my 3 days off. 😉
Post # 7
@MrsJBaggett: With only $1200 coming in per month (is that take home or gross) between the two of you, it sounds like you BOTH need to work another job (if your school/work schedule allows it for now).
I say this not to save for a wedding, but I say this so you can build your emergency fund and save for retirement. What would you do if one of you lost a job? What would you do if one of your cars were totalled or someone was injured?
Wedding-schmedding – you need to get ahead in life first, prepare yourself for unexpected emergencies, before you think about dropping thousands on a wedding!
PS – if he doesn’t want to work an extra job so it can go to a wedding then I would not blame him. I’d just go for a cheaper wedding – emergency savings and retirement savings aside.
Post # 8
@MrsJBaggett: I didn’t vote – because I don’t necessarily thing it’s one person over the other’s responsibility to get a second job for the wedding. I think who wants what definitely plays a role though. I don’t think it should be about who has more free time, but rather who wants it more. Some people would rather not kill themselves over their wedding.
I went and got a second job, because I am concerned with costs and there are things that I want a certain way and things I want to do and where I want to stay. My fiance really doesn’t care about any of it – he would just as soon go to the justice of the peace. We travel regularly, but are typically budget travellers…I don’t want our dest wedding/honeymoon to be like that. I don’t need to stay anyplace outrageous – but I want to go out to eat wherever I want and do activities not worry about cost or if it’s going to affect other things we can do while we are there. I will also likely be doing more with my girlfriends (shopping comes to mind) and we will be bringing the kids…so we have alot more “travel” expenses than we are used to.
In our case, I feel that because these are things I want…it’s only fair that I step up and pay for it. I don’t think it would be fair of me to demand he get a second job for all these things I want to do that don’t really matter one way or another to him. If I preferred a simple ceremony at home, while he was planning a destination wedding with all the bells and whistles, I would be furious if he expected me to get another job to pay for it all, and I wouldn’t hesitate to tell him where to go…
Post # 9
@MrsJBaggett: If you can’t afford a wedding, I’d suggest waiting until you can. There is always the option to get a reasonably priced elopement package. A second job is all fine and well in theory but I wouldn’t be willing to give up my life to pay for a wedding (to pay a mortgage, sure, but not something like a wedding).
The wedding is for both of you, so it’s not fair of you to expect him to give up his days off to work more. Does he have a more physical job? Is he on shifts? He must have days off for a reason. Who is the one who is pushing for an out of budget wedding? If it’s you who suggested the second job, then you should be the one who gets one.
Post # 10
I think that you should both look for opportunities and go from there. If you both find options that work with your schedule, great, but it doesn’t always work out perfectly. For example, I picked up a part time job to help with some of the wedding expenses and it ended up working best for me (not my husband) because I have a set 9-5 M-F and he is in sales and may have to travel with only a few weeks notice. I was able to fit in a part time (weekend only) job and to be honest, it took me a long time to find something that would not interfere with my full-time position and still give me some semblance of a life.
I think that if you both are looking, you can see what is out there and what places will hire you. Then you can decide as a couple if that job (or jobs) will be a good fit.
Post # 11
If I had to work a second job to pay for our wedding, I would’ve eloped. Half the time, I don’t even want to go to the one job I have!
Can you have a cheaper wedding?
Post # 12
@MrsJBaggett: I voted for the both of you to get an extra job, depending on how much time your schooling takes. You should be able to have a realistic, adult conversation with your fiance and explain your concerns. Maybe plan out a budget before hand and have it ready when you talk to him. Explain to him that the only way you two will be able to make the wedding work is if you both pick up the extra slack and work more hours. I’m would hope that he will understand and step up to the plate.
My husband and I were in a somewhat similar situation although we bring in more money than you (it seems no matter how much you make, you always need more). We made strict goals to be debt free by next year and to make that happen, I picked up a second job and he is putting in lots of overtime hours.
Is him picking up more shifts/hours at his current job a possibility? You said he only works 4 days a week…. If neither of these options are something that you both are willing to do, I think you need to step back and re-evaluate your wedding expenses. If more income is not coming in, then something needs to be scaled back and compromised in your budget.