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You can do whatever you want! You want a big dress? Wear it!
This is my 2nd wedding (first time I was 18), 1st for fiance, and we're doing it just like we would if it were the 1st for both of us.
I don't know your parents, but they may surprise you. My parents are helping out this time around too. But I'd say start planning like it's just you and your fiance paying for it. One of the recent bridal magazines had several examples of beautiful $5,000 weddings, so it can be done!
$5000.00??? that.is.AWESOME!!! I was just starting to research "traditional" weddings...i spent lots of time with the destination (ask me questions on that one..because i may have answers on THAT!!hehe) and i was more in line with $15,000.....soooo ..saving (up to) 10,000. is wonderful!
thanks soo much!
I just looked through my stack of magazines:
$5,000 weddings - "Bridal Guide" July/August 2010 issue
$10,000 weddings - "Brides" June 2010 issue
@joeysgal: At this point, a second wedding can be anything you want it to be--from church full of people, big ol'white dress and veil, etc. down to just the two of you stopping in at the JOP. The real issue is what works for the two of you. If he is the one for whom the wedding is the more important, it makes sense for him to take the lead on it. However, the two of you really need to talk about what each of you wants. You say he does not want a destination wedding, but what is important to him? The white dress? Dancing? Open bar? Having 200 guests? Focus on those things that are important to one or both of you, and skip the rest.
you are right! as we know he has never been married..and his sister 3 times already..but she is really the "bad seed"..so his mom never had the chance to do all the fun little things either. what he has said so far is that he has so many close friends back home (2 1/2 hours away) so i was thinking of trying to find something there..i just want to be married, i will go with the whole "white dress thing" if he wants that. i will really be ok with it..and hey, it will be a great time anyway..i know those friends of his!! So i guess no "bridzilla issues" with me..hehe! i do think it is ok for him to get his dream wedding...i had no idea men had these feelings (he is kind of sensitive i.e. crys at sad movies, enjoys babies, cool things like that)
so i guess, give him what he wants (especially if i can go either way?)
Sounds good to me! I was in a similar situation: It was my second wedding, but my wife's first. I wanted it to be a Jewish ceremony. (I'm Jewish, but she is not.) But on most other aspects of the wedding, I basically said that she could do what she wanted. We ended up with a wedding both of us loved.
I was in the same boat you are. FI and I were pretty set on a DW. His family was really upset. They want to be there to see their baby brother get married. (He's the baby of 6, he's 33)
SO - we're having the full blown wedding. My dress is a light gold, but only because that's what I wanted. We're paying and doing things EXACTLY the way we want. The planning has actually been really fun for both of us. Because he's so involved, he sees all of the elements that go into it and he's very helpful. I'm having a blast because I was so young the first time, i just did what i thought I was supposed to. Now I'm getting to do all the off-beat, fun stuff I wished I had done before. AND I get the amazing guy too! :)
It can be done and your wedding will be wonderful.
querida, that is awesome! he did ask how much men are supposed to be involved...i said as much as he wanted. and i did all the things i thought i was supposed to the first time..you know, keep peace and all that..so this time it will be more personal to SO and me!!
i would love to see a pic of the dress..i really dont think i wanna to white..i was thinkin cream..but light gold must be awesome!
and yes, now that we (only alittle bit..hehe) older, isnt it wonderful to know we did get the amazing guy??? and do FUN, PERSONAL stuff (that i was too scared 1st time)
keep me updated on your wedding stuff..sounds great!!
@joeysgal: I was a 2nd time bride as well. I didn't want a big wedding (I was all about eloping or going to the court house), but his family did. I absolutely refused to have a giant, formal (taffeta, tulle and glitter infested) wedding so I compromised for a small, intimate ceremony at their cabin. It was outdoors and very laid back with about 75-80 guests. It was beautiful. I did wear a dress, but no veil. We had one attendant each. I didn't use the "wedding march", but rather music from the PS I Love You soundtrack. I was worried about what people would think about me having a second wedding, but instead I had so many compliments about how nice and relaxed and FUN the wedding was (we took everyone canoeing the next day). So I say, good luck and don't worry about what others might think. Your wedding is about you and your husband.
I'm a second-timer, too. His 1st. My first wedding literally cost $50. Marriage license and the cheapest cake the grocery store had.
I'm doing it right this time because it will be the last time.
@joeysgal - I ordered my dress from Aria. It's the 1st one, style 185. You can see the color HERE (it's #88 -Angora) and HERE (It's the color of those BM Dresses).
My sash is an ivory color and is being made from my mom's wedding dress. :)
@Querida, i LOVE LOVE LOVE that dress!!! so pretty and pockets to boot!!!
i may have to just follow in your steps..and the pricing was fantastic!!!
thanks!
Do what makes you happy. I was first married in 2004 and had the whole wedding thing where my parents paid upwards of $10K for the wedding.
Now, FI and I are planning our wedding and proud to do it ourselves. Are families are so stinking happy for us that they are helping where they can.
His parents will do the rehearsal dinner and mine are doing my dress and flowers. The rest is all us.
It feels good to do it this way. We came up with a budget we are happy with and are really making this our own way.
Good luck!
curlygirl, can i ask if you are wearing white? i am really not sure about this..i keep going back and forth..i live in the south now and it seems a bit different down here...
I'm a second timer, at first I despised anything that had to do with planning. FI really wanted a wedding since he's basically an only child he wanted to do it for his mom. It's hard to tell him no when he's never had a wedding before. I can say I have been seduced by the wedding porn on this and other sites, but there is a part of me that still really wished we had driven to Las Vegas! Even a "small" backyard wedding has a lot of details!
I have embraced the wedding, and pretty much decided I would do this my way for the most part! I'll wear white, and not have a cake, and walk down the aisle to "Pretty Woman" I did the big craziness, and it was with the wrong guy! Now I don't really care if I offend someone or not! If FI wants a wedding it'll be my way! :)
didi0518, see, i did the whole thing too, so, i think what ever SO wants i will give. since he never did have it..it is his choice...mebbe i ask HIM what color he wants me to wear. i TOTALLY want that dress that Q sent me! sooo me!
you guys are awesome!!
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Hi! i have just been informed by SO that, now that we are in serious discussion on wedding, destination is now off the plate, so to speak.
reason being, he is a first timer. I am lost on how to go about the planning now...i had a big wedding (years ago..i was only 21) so i know the financial burden is on us..(dad already did "his job" on first)
do i wear the big ol dress...and all the hoopla that goes with? let him plan it all?
i just feel kinda wierd now...any suggestions?