2nd Wedding. To have my dad walk me or not to have him walk me?

posted 2 years ago in Ceremony
Post # 2
Member
42546 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

ahough2:  Ypu can still have your Dad escort you down the aisle if you are that nervous. even if he is not going to give you away.

Post # 3
Member
528 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2014 - Columbia, SC

ahough2:  It is all up to you. I am getting married for the 2nd time and my dad will not be walking me, but that is because we do not have that kind of relationship. 

Post # 5
Member
42546 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

ahough2:  I don’t think it is at all tacky for your Dad to escort you. Generally, I hate the use of that word becuase it is very judgemental, but I don’t think it applies at all in your case. Your Dad is not giving you away. He would be your escort.

Post # 6
Member
193 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

Wow, it’s almost the identical scenario as mine! This is my 2nd marriage, I live with my current FI, I have children, my dad is a pastor and he also lives far away in Florida (I live in AB, Canada), and he is doing our ceremony as well. 🙂 I am going to have my father walk me down the isle, but not have the whole giving away phrases. He will basically drop me off to my FI and walk around us to go up the 3stairs and me and my FI will walk up the 3 stairs behind him…and he will turn to us and start the ceremony. I guess we will have to play around with it at the rehearsal to see which transition works best. To me I’m basically pretending this is my first time around. It is my FI’s first marriage. But it was also really important to have my father walk me down the isle, not just because I miss him, but also because about 6 months ago he got cancer and is still trying to fight it. So it’s made me realize it would be special to him and me and I’ll want the photo memories of it. I agree with Julies1949, that he could be an escort (especially as you are nervous). There won’t need to be any mentioning of giving away. But I don’t think it would be wrong no matter what you choose. It’s your day and do what makes you happy. 🙂

Post # 7
Member
47 posts
Newbee

I am having my boys walk me down the aisle. He got the honor last time, and my kids get the honor this time, because in  a way, they are allowing him to be a part of our life- and thus are bringing me to my FI.

 

You mention you have kids.. could this be an option for you too?

 

 

Post # 8
Member
528 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2014 - Columbia, SC

ahough2:  It is what it is, but thank you.

I do not think it is tacky and as the other bee said, you can have him walk you and not actually say he is giving you away. It is your wedding and you can have it anyway you want. 

Post # 9
Member
7216 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

ahough2: I’m curious that you’ve talked to your mother about it but not your dad. I suggest you talk to him about it and ask what he thinks.

Is it possible to have someone else lead the first part of the service? So your father walks you down, and this other person leads the first part, and they change over, say, during the first song? I’ve seen “ceremony duties” shared at a couple of church weddings. 

Also: what was done at your first wedding?

Post # 10
Member
1622 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2014 - Cape May

There’s no right way or wrong way to do this. He could simply escort you down the aisle then take his place in front as the officiant and start the ceremony.

Its my 2nd wedding and my dad will not be walking me down the aisle. I’m still close to him and he did for my first wedding but this time around Is different. We already live together and FI and I are already in our 30s so I don’t feel like a little girl leaving home for the first time. I’m older, more mature and completely independent. Were trading a super traditional ceremony for one a more personalized one that reflects us as a couple. Oh and we’re eloping 😉

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