Post # 1
I have a dillemma, Ill be getting married next summer and am struggeling with a wedding veil issue. It comes two fold, my husband to be‘s family has a wedding veil that every bride has used for generations. Its beautiful and I love the tradition.
My issues are these:
This being his second marriage means his first wife also wore it. Am i just being silly on this subject? Its not the actually wearing of the veil that I have the issue with although I admit I am not completely comfortable with it. My issue is seeing it in pictures on both me and her. Am i just being childish? Is the tradition more important than my issues?
This veil is just beautiful but it doesnt “go” with my dress! Its a huge veil made of lace .Im a 39 year old bride and although this isn’t my first wedding I still want it to be special. Here is my dress, I love it and its perfect. I would like a veil much like the one. So girls what shoudl I do?
Post # 3
what does your FI think? I doubt he cares too much what kind of veil you wear..but if I’m wrong and he wants you to wear it, can you perhaps make changes to the veil? If you can’t, maybe just wear it differently. Or wear it for the ceremony then change to the one you want to wear. It should be up to you whether or not to wear it. It is YOUR wedding day look, so it should be something you would be happy with. I love your dress by the way..
Post # 4
I wouldn’t wear it but is this is Jewish for a reason? If there are symbolic religious reasons to wear the family veil that may change my mind.
Post # 5
He will be fine with whatever I decide but I know the tradition is important to him. More importantly he recogizes that it might be “weird” for me. I think what Im more worried about is what his family might percieve if I forgo the tradition. Maybe a compromise as you said is a possible answer I just dont know where to fit that in at the moment.
Post # 6
Well we are Jewish but it is a family tradition not a religious one, I guess when you say it that way, it makes a diffrence to me also.
Post # 7
Personally wearing a used veil from my fi’s ex wife would really weird me out. I love tradition, but sometimes you just have to break it. I don’t think it’s fair for his family to expect you to wear that veil.
Post # 8
I wouldn’t be able to wear the same veil his ex-wife used, that’d just be creepy to me. maybe you can compromise with his family, or incorporate some other family tradition besides the veil. or maybe just talk to his family that it’s uncomfortable for you. they should understand.
Post # 9
i would never wear anything his ex-wife did.
Post # 10
Looks like a concenus, Im not being petty if I choose not to wear it . So let be be done I am getting my own veil.
Post # 11
@kitzy: Agreed, but that’s just me. I wouldn’t feel comfortable with it.