3 families and one Christmas day… (Long) : /

posted 3 years ago in Holidays
Post # 3
Member
744 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@missfrillycoat:  I always celebrate with part of my family on Christmas Eve in leiu of Christmas Day.  To me that is very normal and the Christmas Eve bunch would not have any reason to get upset.  I’m sure your Dad understands that things change after you get married.

 

My Mom lives nearby but my SOs family lives about an hour and a half away so we decided that if we spend Thanksgiving Day with his parents then we will spend Christmas Day with mine.  That way each Mom has one Holiday Day and doesn’t feel used and abused.  We had Thanksgiving with my Mom on Saturday and she seemed fine with it.

 

I can’t wait for me and SO to have kids and host some Holidays because we are darn good cooks!

Post # 4
Member
1463 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I think your plan is fine!  When I was growing up, my mom’s parents lived out of state, but we lived near my dad’s parents.  We spent Christmas Eve with my grandparents, and the whole, huge family, and then Christmas Day was at home day or maybe spent with friends, later.  I liked it because I felt like I was getting two full Christmases.

Post # 6
Member
735 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

have you ever considered alternating every year? The way we work is is christmas eve we do dinner with one side of the family, christmas morning we open presents with the kids n have a nice breaky, then for dinner we go to the other side of the family. N ever year we switch, so this year my parents get christmas and his parents get christmas eve and next year my parents get christmas eve and his get christmas

that way its still special n no one ever seems upset

Post # 9
Member
1721 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@missfrillycoat:  I don’t think its mean, its understandable due to circumstances.  Holidays are hard for me since FI’s family lives nearby and my family lives 6 hours away.  The last few years we have had thanksgiving with his family, drove up to spend Christmas Eve (which was always the “family day” for us) with my family (aunts, uncles grandparents, ect) spend christmas morning with my family, headed out to have christmas lunch with FI’s brother, SIL, and nephews who live halfway between my family and home…then finally got home to exchange presents. Its been exhausting and drama filled (all thanks to my family) we decided last year is the last time we’re going to do this.  From now on, we’ll switch of holidays…and when we get a house (or have kids, like you said) we can have both families meet up at our place.

Post # 10
Member
7654 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

@missfrillycoat:  Honestly I think it’s great he gets all of Christmas Eve. That’s when my family celebrates (we have the big dinner around noon, go for apps at the local bar at 5, and then open gifts right after). We do nothing on Christmas Day but eat, lol. I don’t know why, but it has always been that way for some reason!

I don’t have my time split nearly like you do, BUT Christmas Eve is spent with my family. They get the whole day. With DH’s parents, because MIL’s parents are still alive, they go to their house to spend Christmas Day, which means we follow. It’s a 3 1/2 hour drive. Bad part: we get going, drive, eat, open gifts, and by at least 5 we have to be out of there to get home and get to bed so I can work the next day, so in terms of time, they don’t get nearly as much but that is because they live so far away.

Post # 11
Member
6960 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2015

@missfrillycoat:  We always had a similar schedule to yours. My dad, mom, sister & I used to have Christmas morning together. But then sister & I both moved out and that’s not something we do anymore. No one even tried to suggest that we get together, especially since I live 90 minutes away WITHOUT traffic. I wouldn’t stress about it. Part of starting your own home & family is having your own traditions. 

Post # 14
Member
7193 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@missfrillycoat:  My parents are divorced and it’s kind of similar. My dad never gets us on Christmas day, but gets a day close. Christmas lunch and dinner alternate between my mother and my inlaws, i.e. one year it’s lunch with my mother and dinner with the inlaws, the next year it’s the other way around. If my dad has a problem with it, he’s never said. I think he’s kind of happy to see us on a day when we we’re not rushing off somewhere else.

My opinion, for what it’s worth, is that once you have children you’re not excused from travelling on Christmas Day. I think it’s important to be flexible, not insist that the only way to meet on Christmas is at your own house. I have children, as does my sister, and our meetups with my mother can be at any of our 3 houses (there’s no system, it’s just whoever offers 🙂

Post # 15
Member
6960 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2015

@missfrillycoat:  I hear ya. Dad & sister live inland, but the rest of the extended family we visit on Christmas Eve & Day are in L.A. (where I am). What I REALLY want is for Dad, sister, sister’s BF & my nephew to spend Christmas Eve night at my place so we can have Christmas morning together and they don’t have to make the long drives. But I don’t know if Dad’s ready to spend the night in the apartment I have sex in 😛 LOL

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