Post # 1
Okay, we are right at 3 months away from exchanging vow’s and there’s not a doubt in my mind that he’s the one for me…BUT…For the last several days we have been down each other’s throat. Not about wedding stuff but about everything else…What we are watching on TV, holding hands, stupid little stuff! But tonight was the icing on the cake…
We have worked very hard to make sure that he sleeps at his house, I sleep at mine…although we have had a couple of nights that have turned into sleep-overs, but we have tried very hard to make sure that it didn’t happen often. So tonight, we were both very sleepy, totally exhausted. We went and layed down for a few minutes and then he jumped up and gathered his things. I asked him to please stay as I hated for him to drive home so tired. He left anyway, which did break my heart, but I tried to be understanding.
I decided to call him on his way home to make sure that he made it home okay, as he was totally exhausted, and then he went “off” on me about how I had to stop harassing him about spending the night. HE completely over reacted! He was borderline rude to me, and honestly he really hurt my feelings. I hurried and got off the phone to keep him from hearing me cry.
What’s going on with us? Why are we fighting? Am I wrong for wanting him to spend the night every now and then? Do we need time apart for a few days?
Post # 3
From what you have stated, it would seem that he is frustrated with himself more than anything. I think he wants to spend the night with you, but knows he can’t and it is getting to him. I suggest that you both take a break from the wedding talk/planning for a couple of days or maybe a week and just do something for the two of you. The rudeness you were hearing in his voice was probably him being tired and frustrated. You both need to talk about that part of your relationship. Bring it up to him, but don’t push. Just put it out there and if he doesn’t want to talk about it right then, just wait and he should bring it up on his own.
Post # 4
Is it possible that he feels you guys made a deal to sleep apart… and that you haven’t been holding up your end of the bargain?
If so, his feelings may be justified! It’s super hard to resist sleeping over, and so it’s really something that both members of a couple have to commit too… or barring that, one person has to be really strict about it.
Either way, it’s a really tough situation – I wish you the BEST OF LUCK!!!
Post # 5
- Wedding: January 2011 - Vintage Villas
I definitely think it’s just stress, and like noritake said, he’s probably frustrated with himself and with the situation – not you. Don’t talk about wedding planning for the next few days and spend some time reconnecting – I bet it will help a lot!
Post # 6
i wouldn’t worry about it. you are probably really stressed about stuff, and even though you aren’t fighting about the wedding, it is the root of your arguments. my Fiance have gotten into a couple arguments over really stupid crap becuase i am stressed about our wedding! just try to relax and not stress. maybe do something totally random and fun and different to get your minds of things and such.
Post # 7
Do the opposite! How about a romantic weekend away?
I think couples who are wedding planning need to step away from the stress (even if it’s not what you’re arguing about) and have some couple time.
We’re going to do this in a month or two. Just have a quiet weekend away. We’ve got wedding planning stress, family illness, and right now T’s out of town on business/family stuff.
Post # 8
I can totally understand… Boyfriend or Best Friend and I have been planning a road trip (our first real vacation alone because we’ve always gone with friends before) and its just… amazing how many idiotic things we are arguing about – like “I don’t want to stop over in a particular city” turns into this HUGE fight about trust? At this moment, I actually went waitaminute, WTF? We totally aren’t these angry fighty people…
It happens sometimes, things build up especially if you’ve been totally immersed in and talking talking about a single topic all day every day for weeks and months. Reconnect with him, do something fun thats not even in the neighbourhood of wedding planning and hopefully things will work out.
I’ve seen a number of threads where people have complained about their FH turning into an absolute hosebeast, or the number of fights escalating. It happens to the best of us 😉
Post # 9
How about a date night? Dinner and movie or bowling? Just something non wedding related and non stressful, every couple fights and its normal, it will only make your relationship stronger