(Closed) 3 More Years!

posted 5 years ago in Long Distance Relationships
Post # 3
1458 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2015

Why don’t you try to apply to a number of grad programs in SC and TN?

Post # 5
1458 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2015

Well that all really sucks. Long distance, especially in a college/university setting where so much is focused on social interaction, group work, networking, etc. is really really difficult. Fiance and I were long distance for a year and a half and it put a significant strain on our relationship, and we were really close to breaking up a few times. The communication, different schedules, different priorities, and lack of personal, physical, social interaction are really tough to work around.  When we finished undergrad, we both worked as hard as we could to be in the same place for grad school and it all worked out. I would really strongly advise you to be with him in the same city. We both moved across the country with no contacts or anything, just an apartment set up and our grad school acceptances. I wouldn’t wish long distance relationships on anyone 🙁

Post # 7
10367 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

A lot of people I did my PhD with had 6+ years of long distance relationships with their college sweethearts. A lot did PhD plus post docs apart until they could finally get jobs in the same town. It was super hard, but most of them made it work. It was definitely too much for a few of the couples. The ones that made it had a really strong committment to make visits work – it was pretty inspiring to watch!

Post # 9
540 posts
Busy bee

@crayfish:  This is really inspiring to hear about! Any other tips from what you’ve seen of their relationships?

Post # 10
109 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

This probably sounds completely heartless, but your education should always come first. Take it from someone with personal experience, I gave my education up bcause I was so focused on the boy I was with. Now its three years later and we broke up recently. Now I have to support myself and dont have the education requirements to get a job good enough so that might be possible. I did love the boy in question, but love doesnt pay rent, and at the end of the day, all you have is yourself. If you were to divorce this person years down the road, wouldnt you like to say your able to support yourself with a great job backed by an even better degree?

And even so, what is for you will not go by you. Scottish saying my current boyfriend uses that basically means that, whats meant to happen will happen! Get your life in order, and if at the end of the road, hes still there, then you know you did the right thing and will have a great life because of it.

Post # 11
38 posts
  • Wedding: June 2014

@FEDORAble:  I have a similar situation. FH and I have been together almost 3 and a half years and he needs to move across country next year for a new job.

I got accepted into vet school in our home-state and since there’s only about 28 vet schools in the country and it’s extremely difficult just to get into one you don’t have many options with where you get to go to school. The school I’m going to is more rural and there are not jobs there in FH’s field (computer engineering). He already looked around with no luck.

He got offered a really good job several states away and the opprotunity and pay is too good to pass up. He’s also worried that if he did not work in his field for a few years it would be REALLY difficult to get back into it / find someone who’d hire him. 

We’ve done long distance several times already esp during summers. This past summer he had an internship 1000 miles away from me and we only saw each other in person once that summer. We just set up skype dates etc. Yes I’m not going to lie it is tough but it can be done. FH and I handle long distance very well I guess it just depends on the person. I’m actually excited for him to go because he will have his dream job and we can start saving up money for our future. Plus we will always be able to visit, I plan on visiting him every break and he plans to fly in every now and then.

In addition, grad school programs can be intense. At least for vet school you are in class 8-5 M-F and then need to study at least 4 hours a day outside of class to keep up. I feel like FH living far away would be good since I’ll be able to focus and even if he did live with me I’d feel like I’d be ignoring him which isn’t fair.

I realize the road ahead will be hard but we are both willing to do it and the years fly by. I guess it all depends on the people involved and just make sure to make time for each other (like skype dates, skying a bit each night, calling each other before bed etc)


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