Post # 1
I have had to take the day off because I was up all night crying. Everything that can cause stress in a persons life has happened this week and its only wednesday.
First off: work. Its insane. The pressure I am under is so much, yesterday I was sitting at my desk and my boss emailed me asking me to do something that I just dont have time for and I just about cracked it. I had to go to the bathroom to have a cry because I was feeling so overwhelmed. I am dreading tomorrow because I just know how much work I am coming back to, but I just couldnt bring myself to face it today. My boss is not nasty and this morning she seemed really concerned for me… if it was work alone I would be ok, but its all the other things
Second: My mum called me on Monday and told me my grandma has been rushed to hospital and they are not expecting her to make it to my wedding. I was crying so much at my desk and I was given the opportunity to go home but I didnt because of all my work. Last night mum called and they have found she has bowel cancer that as perforated her bowel and has spread to her liver, stomach and kidneys. She also has an infection in her kidneys and urinary tract. She is being kept comfortable but is only being given fluids and has been put on ‘do not resucitate’ so she can pass peacefully. I feel so selfish because all I can think about is how this will impact my wedding. There is a very likely chance that the same week as my wedding, we will be attending her funeral and its all too much.
Third: my brothers 21st is the day before my wedding. I completely forgot and no one bothered to tell me when I set my date. Now he feels that I have stolen his day and is resentful because all people can talk about is my wedding and he is being left out. I feel like such a bitch, but in 15 months, no one has mentioned it! I would have changed the date if he asked! I called a family meeting the sunday before my wedding and he got upset because thats the weekend he is having to celebrate his birthday… when mum told me I got angry. I was angry at myself and I was angry at him. I admit I had a bridezilla moment when mum asked me what I had planned for him I pointed out his birthday was three weeks away, I shouldnt have to think about it right now. He will get a gift and a card from me, but FFS my grandma is dying, work is full on and I have a wedding in 3 weeks, get off my back! I also admit to having a pity party and saying that my 21st was a flop as it is 2 days before christmas so no one came (which was true) and I didnt chuck a tantie so why should he… 10 seconds later I realised what I said and burst into hysterical tears because I felt like a bitch and the last thing mum needed was me dumping on her during the same phone call that she told me to brace for a funeral.
Fourth: extended family. NO YOU CANNOT BRING SOME RANDOM TO MY WEDDING! FFS PEOPLE!!!
Fifth: A family friend who means the world to me isnt coming. I learnt that the same day I learnt about my grandma.
Sixth: My best friend is about to break up with her fiance, who just to happens to be FI’s best man. No no no no no no… please just hold off! Please! I need the two of you to be a team!! I cant handle this right now!!
So I am sitting here, crying my eyes out because it is all too much. I just want to go back to bed and wake up when its all over 🙁
Post # 3
Oh gosh *hugs* I know… the worst is when you just want to curl up under the covers and never come out. Breathe. Sleep tonight, sounds like you got at least some rest today, and remember that things are never as important as they seem in the moment. It all works out in the end.
Post # 4
Oh hugs! Breath! It will be ok. Get some sleep, perhaps talk to your boss about everything and have her lighten the work load a bit.
Post # 5
Thank ladies. I will be the first to admit that stress and me dont mix. If I am feeling overwhelmed my first reaction is to get angry, then to cry. But at the end of the day I cannot wait to marry my fiance. Is is a really good man and has been so patient with me. I love him so very much and the thought of getting married to him in 3 weeks time does a lot to make things better 🙂
Post # 6
sorry to hear this, it does sound really stressful. If you can have a hot bath, a hot drink or glass of wine and try to unwind. If you can book yourself a message. If I were you I would send a text to your brother and say you are sorry you honestly didnt schedule it on purpose. Im sorry to hear about your grandma, are you able to visit her? Even though work is horrible right now, it really is the least important thing going on, can you ask your boss for a day off? Work can keep (usually) and you sound like you need a break. You cant do anything about people who cant come to your wedding, dont think about that now, concentrate on who can and is coming. Anyway, I hope you feel a bit better soon, take care of yourself.
Post # 7
Well I feel for ya. I was laid off from my job a few weeks after they had renewed my contract and was making all kinds of plans for wedding planning since after a year of struggiling we had just gotten finiancial stable, and then we lost the house we thought we were going to move to in a few weeks before closing which would have been more affordable in my time of unemployment. Then that day I got home I tried to stay positive about the time off my FI’s dog knocked over a beer and killed my computer. I had to beg a family member for a loan to get a new one.
The whole reason we moved here was because of a long series of funerals and as much as I love having my grandmother’s settings it would have been wonderful if she could have attended the wedding but I guess in a strange way she will still be there because of them. Even though we lost the house we were able to renew our lease and we bought a much needed couch with the earnest money (our futon couch was actually falling apart as they hauled it away). I am still job searching but hopeful and my family is pulling together to get me a ceremony with a small price tag since we are throwing it for them anyway mostly.
Point is this all seems super awful now, but things will get better. I’m sorry about your grandmother. 🙁 And that stinks about your brother and work being crazy but perphaps you should let her know about your grandma so she can lighten the load.
As far as the rest of the ceremony things go I’m sure they will work out. What I try to remember is altough I can’t afford the ceremony I would have liked because of not having a job, the ceremony is for the family anyway to celebrate the marriage, the ceremony is one day, the marriage is hopefully forever. So no matter what happens just remember that you are gaining a partner who will help you and support you when life gets as rough as it seems to have gotten for you right now. And that is priceless.
The same thing goes for your family friend even though they can’t be at the wedding the relationship with this person is not going to change and that is something that you can count on.
Post # 8
I promise you so much that in another week or two, things will iron out.
Turn off your phone and focus on what you need to do. If your brother is bothering you about his birthday, tell him to suck it up and deal. Your friends breaking up? You cant control that, you are not in their relationship. Work making you crazy? Your boss sounds understanding and if you keep trying, it will be ok. You cant control grandma’s health, so just pray for her to be well and if she misses your big day, call her after the ceremony or visit her the next day.
I’m telling you this as a bride who had work and school stresses, our kitchen was being remodeled and we couldnt eat or walk in our house, and our photographer cancelled: all three weeks before our wedding. Then, 48 hours before our wedding, DH’s family sat him down and said how they have disliked me for the past 2 years and didnt think that we should get married. I cried so hard I threw up, thinking about how nice I had been to them, but it’s never enough.
And you know what? My day was perfect. And yours will be, too.
It’s not a wedding without all these bumps in the road! A lot can turn around for the better in 3 weeks. <3
Post # 9
*hugs* Everything will be ok. Breathe.
First, the wedding will be fine. You’ll get it done and stressing about this is just going to make your sleep and skin crappy, so chill out, go for a walk, kick back and relax. Something. Take time for you.
Second, I am so sorry about your grandmother, but don’t pronounce her gone until she actually is. People can pull through some amazingly terrible things because of love and strength. If it so happens that something does happen to her, then you need to start making the most out of these last few weeks with her. I don’t know if you are relgious, but the Lord will take care of her. Even if you’re not religious, her suffering will end and all will be peaceful. It will be ok. Promise.
Third, if your friend and her Fiance that she wants to break up with do, then that’s fine. However, if they can’t play nice for your wedding day depsite what happens, then they are pretty selfish friends.
Last, tell your bro to suck it up. He can still have a party if we wants to, and it isn’t the end of the world. He gets a birthday every year, you get a wedding once. Just ignore him and keep on keeping on.
Don’t count your chickens before they hatch. Don’t think of what ifs, you don’t need that now. Breath, relax, and do something for you. I would suggest taking a few days off from work to focus on yourself and things that you absolutely have to get done.
I hope everything works out. Best of luck. *hugs*
Post # 10
thanks again everyone. you are all so kind and your words do help a lot 🙂
Post # 11
I don’t have anything special to say that hasn’t already been said but wanted to show my support and say I’m so sorry you’re going through this!
For work, make a list of things you need to get done and just put your head down and check them off one by one. That always makes me feel so much better.
I’m so so sorry about your grandmom.
Everything else will look brighter after a good night’s sleep!
Post # 12
Wow, you are going through a lot. I do hope things work out and your grandmother is comfortable. I am so sorry.
Post # 13
- Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry
I know you are going to be okay. You know why? Because you said this (which is SO sweet!)-… at the end of the day I cannot wait to marry my fiance.
Sounds like the next few weeks are going to have some emotional bumps for you-but at the end of it all, you are going to be MARRIED!! Whoo-hoo!!! 🙂
Post # 14
i’m sorry for what you’re going through….it seems like too much, but i have a question, you didn’t know when your brother’s birthday was ??where you not around his last birthday since it came and went in 15 months??? just a question not to sound mean or anything i know you are going through so much.