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I just received an online RSVP saying a 3 year old ordered a grilled ribeye vs the kid's meal option of chicken tenders. There is another kid (5 yrs) in the family who did get the chicken tenders. I'm emailing them to see if there was an error and to confirm what the younger one wants.
I'm hoping that it was an error ($20 difference plus the fact that it is a STEAK for a toddler!). If it isn't an error....do I let them do it or request (force) them to chose the kid's?
My parents, who are paying for the wedding, think it's a little rediculous and don't agree with it. The guests are from my fiance's side and he doesn't want to offend them (especially if they give a generous gift while we squabble over $20).
What do you think?
Umm. That's weird. I'd be a little afraid a 3-year-old might choke on steak.
If you want to force them to choose the kid's meal, I guess you could say something like, "Oh, I'm so sorry this wasn't more clear on the invitation, but all children will be getting the kid's meal of chicken tenders."
Or...this is kind of sneaky...you could just put the kid down for chicken tenders without mentioning anything to the parents, and when the day arrives, act like you have no idea why little Johnny didn't get his steak.
no no no no no! I would tell them that there are adult meals and there are kid meals. They probably just will feed their kid before the event and then eat the extra plate. That's dirty.
wow that is just weird... I would never let my kid order steak until they were at least 10 LOL. not because I am affraid he/she would choke but that is just rediculous. epecially so young because you never know if they are actually going to eat, that would just be money down the drain. I say, just order the kid chicken and be like "oops!"
I agree with tattoo, they are totally going to dine on a second meal. people are hilarious....in a sad way.
I would just give the kid chicken tenders and not ask them. They can dine on that.
Here's my guess ... they're planning to split the chicken tenders between the two kids and the dad is looking forward to an extra steak! LOL
Seriously, I would think about "forcing" the issue by doing as @Bubu82 suggests, and assuming it's an error. But that's just me; if your FI feels strongly, then let it go - it's just $20 and you're really not going to care that day!
@Miss Tattoo: I agree. It sounds like they are being sneaky and want more steak, even though that's an awful thing to think. I would tell them all kids are getting kids meals.
My parents fed my little sister steak (tenderloin filet, $30+) since she was a toddler. 2 or younger. I always thought it was wasteful, but to each their own.
When I was a kid we were $6 chicken tenders type children.
My FH has a 2 1/2 yr old and I could see us ordering steak instead of a chicken kid plate for him. He is a picky eater and will eat beef almost every time but will rarely eat chicken, and never chicken nuggets, dino bites, or tenders. He won't choke on it but you could confirm if you think it is an error. If there was clearly no option and all kids where getting the chicken kid plate, we would bring food that he would eat or not come.
I don't know how to make this not sound bad, but can I ask why they were given an option if they really don't have one? Sorry if that sounds rude, I really am just wondering.
Just to place devil's advocate on this one...
a) Could have been a mistake.
b) Was chicken tenders the only kid's meal option? Maybe there is some kind of gluten or chicken allergy? Would it possible to offer up a different kid's option for them?
Wow. The only way my 5 year old gets steak is if we share or there is a kid steak on the menu. I'd never make someone else pay for her to eat steak though. I'd just say sorry for the confusion, but all the children are being served chicken strips and the adults have a choice.
Point the first: As a 3-year-old, I totally would have been down with gobbling up a steak.
Point the second: Totally agree with the other posters that it is MOST LIKELY the parents trying to get an extra meal.
Point the third: You offered the choice. It is not your place to say "Oh, sorry, we never really thought anyone would have the audacity to CHOOSE the steak over the chicken tenders! I mean, it's $20 extra! So, umm...we're not going to let you have it."
So basically, I get that it's probably just stupid parents, but it could be that she'll actually eat the steak. But most importantly, you wouldn't try to micro-manage your adult guests' meal choices, so why are you doing it for this kid?
What, are they trying to get their money's worth?
Give the kids the kids' meal. 3- and 5-year-olds don't want adult meals.
Another thing: I would worry that if the 3 year old gets the steak and the 5 year old gets chicken strips then the 3 year old will be upset and wonder he/she didn't get the same. Because every little kid wants to be like the bigger kid.
I would definitely let this one go. I made it a point to not let my wedding affect any of my personal relationships-- even when I think people were being totally stupid.
Example? I invited a friend with guest. She did not RSVP by the date. She did not respond to the email I sent her inquiring as to her attendance. When I finally caught her online she told me she hadn't responded yet because she wasn't sure if she could find a date. I told her I really needed an answer and she told me she was definitely coming alone. Day of? She no-showed. Didn't call, text, email, facebook, nothing. I haven't heard from her since. Do I think it was shitty? Absolutely... but I wouldn't actually confront her about it because why cause drama? In the end the amount of money she cost us by no-showing wasn't a make-or-break thing and I don't want negativity surrounding my wedding.
Point being-- I think the parents are kind of rude here, but if your options are let them be rude or risk being rude yourself? I'd just let them be rude and let you be their gracious host.
I have friends who's little kids favourite meal is seafood linguine with pesto. Ever since their kids have been old enough to eat solid food they've been feeding them 'grown up food' so that they don't have to make different meals for everyone at home. It's a pretty smart idea! Maybe the kid likes steak! My nephew is 3 and he's a HUGE carnivore. I'm pretty sure if you put half a cow in front of him he'd devour it.
Update:
1. I'm still waiting to hear back from the parents to confirm it wasn't an error. (It's late so I didn't expect them to reply tonight)
2. All guests were given options for meals. The kids meal was phrased as "Chicken Tenders (Kids Meal)" on the RSVP. My intent is not to micromanage. It would be disheartening to see a 3/4 of a steak tossed away as a 3 yr old probably wouldn't eat the whole thing.
3. They really don't seem to be the type of people to try and get an extra meal which leads me to think...
The child could have a food allergy (which I hadn't thought of!) or dislike chicken.
So, we'll await their reply!
My parents always fed my brother and I grown up food when we were kids. There was never a kids' meal option at my house. One of the funny stories of our childhood is that when my brother was 5, he got food poisoning from caviar. Everyone's reaction is always "what 5 year old eats caviar?!" My point is, maybe the kid likes steak? Regardless, I don't think the $20 is worth an argument. Just let it go. You can't control everything.
My opinion depends on the wording for the reception cards. If it appeared that all guests, including the kids, could choose any of the meals, then I think they are entitled to their choice.(Lesson to the rest of us re the wording for the choice of entree).
If, on the other hand it was clear that the adults had a choice but the kids did not, then I would consider accomodating them only if it was an allergy situation or the child really hates chicken.
Otherwise , I would provide the chicken and the parents can feed that little carnivore off their own plate if they choose to do so.
I dont have an opinion or anything... i just would like to hear what the result of this issue is :)
@Always2beAPB: that is totally a possibilty, that the child has an allergy or refuses to eat chicken for whatever reason. i didn't think of it at all until you said it. i was thinking like all the PPs, that they were trying to score a free meal (although for me personally, one steak is plenty!). i wonder why we all assumed they were so being so incredibly rude and didn't think outside the box like you just did?!
I really don't think that it is that odd. My parents would certainly have ordered steak for me at that age if that's what I asked (nicely) for.
Hope it turns out alright, but in the end, it really only is $20.
@PurpleUnicorn *sits down and starts eating popcorn* :)
considering their other kid isn't ordering a steak, I doubt the parents are trying to get a freebie. If they were, they'd order the steak for the older child. I think it's an allergy or food preference for the kid.
My first thought was that the kid was a picky eater or had gluten allergy or celiac disease. I don't think the "opps i don't know how your kid ended up with chicken tenders is a good idea". I would definitely call up the parents to see why they selected the steak. Otherwise you may end up with an early walk out from the family if the kid can't/won't eat the tenders because the kid would probably get hungry and fussy.
We have two young guests with gluten allergies so I could totally see their parents ordering them steak instead. And my middle child went through a stage when he was 4 that he wouldn't eat anything white - chicken was included.
I'd just roll with the steak order personally.
I would ask the caterers if they can prepare a kids steak meal, with a smaller portion of steak, cut into bite size pieces. That way, its probably cheaper, the kid gets his steak, and you don't have to worry about the parents trying to be sneaky to get an extra meal. Its Win-Win!
@Roux: I agree. If they must have the steak, I would ask for a kids portion. There is no way in hell that I would be feeding a small child adult size portions of anything.
Agreed.
My nieces and nephews are like that as well.
At my bridal shower the adults ordered off the event brunch menu. The kids were able to order off the full menu. My 7 year old niece got braised pork belly! She is a crazy good eater and eats everything. She could have definitely eat a whole steak when she was 3.
So don't assume that since the child is 3 that they don't actually want a steak. All kids are different.
Honestly, for $20 I would let it go.
I was a pint-sized carnivore! My parents fed me adult food from as early on as I could eat it. I always hated kids' meals because they were not the same quality.
I would just order the kid's meal for the kid. Play dumb if they mention it, which they won't. If the kid has a gluten alergy or won't eat chicken, I imagine that there will be enough other things that can fill up a 3 y/o's little tummy.
That kid might very well like steak, but it's pretty rude to ask your friends to buy a steak dinner for your 3 year old, no matter how much he likes it. Ignore them and give him chicken fingers. THEY can spend the $30 on a steak dinner for a 3 year old if they want to, but I think that's a little much to expect of a bride and groom. Frankly, a wedding is not meant to cater to a child's expectations. He doesn't need the steak. If they bring it up, just say the caterer was given the number of children and prepared that amount of kids meals and it was a miscommunication.
(I tend not to think it's an issue of gluten/food allergies because if it were, I imagine the parents would not take the risk of ordering food from a kitchen that may not prepare gluten-free food. Some marinades on steak contain gluten and you can never be too sure unless you ask the chef or restaurant staff. I have a friend with Celiac's who is militant about this and takes no chances, so I would think if their child had an issue like this, they'd just bring him his own special food that they KNOW contains no gluten. I think he just likes steak and they figure they're not paying for it, so why not?)
Honestly let it go or ask for a childs portion of steak. It is not weird to me a 3 yr old wants steak; my nephew just turned 4 and has been eating it for a while now. The other kicker? He HATES chicken. Not every kid is a fan of chicken tenders, hell my nephew doesn't even like potatos! He throws me threw a loop on this one! Also he has a severe allergy to peanuts and there are some things like fried foods (as in the case a lot of chicken fingers are fried) where they can't order because they are not sure if it is fried in a peanut oil.
Just wanted to give you the other point of view that yes, maybe they did order it for a valid reason. IMO it is extremely rude to switch it with out them knowing.
I would totally have eaten steak at age 3 and would have devoured a whole adult portion too!
Just because you wouldn't have or wouldn't allow your children too, it doesn't mean that these parents don't allow their children to eat "adult food" on a consistent basis. Or as other PPs said, the 3-year-old might have an allergy that prevents him from eating chicken (or he may just hate chicken and refuse to eat it).
If you gave the guests a choice, IMO, you really can't re-nig on that choice and force them to have something different just because you don't like what they chose.
I learned my lesson! We are doing a stationed dinner but I am not paying 100+ for a 5 year old to have prime rib. So all the families with kids coming will have a separate insert stating that there is a plated kids meal for their child. Done and done.
BTW what sneaky parents! I never ordered kid's meals for my daughter either but when its on someone else's dime I'm not about to let her get the king crab leg platter!
I don't know, I think the fact that there was a separate listing for a kids plate of chicken tenders, it's kind of understood that THAT is the choice for children, not the adult plated dinners? I don't think she really presented steak as an option for the children since there's a child's dinner listed. They just ignored the kids option and signed him up for an adult one, which is pretty bold of them.
My 3 yr old bonus son loves steak. I would be livid if you asked me and would find it insulting. However, I'm a fan of covering the plate even if it's a 3yr old.
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