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It's a great time to "upgrade" houseware items like silverware that you probably wouldn't want to bother buying all new yourself... Also I think that when a registry is small and gets bought out, people just tend to give gift cards to the store that you registered at or they give you cash. So I'd just do a small registry for items you really want.
Have you been married before? IHMO, I kind of think that if you've been married before and you're inviting all the same people then it may be more polite to specify no gifts. However, if you haven't been married and you need things, then go for it.
BTW, I'm 33, never married, and have registered for both household items and for our honeymoon.
I'm not 30-40 but I'll still comment, hehe.
First of all, you should still do some sort of registry! No matter if you are 20 or 30 or 40, people will still want to bring something to your wedding. I think if you registered at stores, it would be a great way to get "upgrades" on stuff you already have, as PP said. However, before you do so, maybe take a mental inventory and think about what could really use an upgrade. If you have nice things and all you can think of is silverware and a new vaccuum for example, maybe it'd be better to go towards the honeymoon registry!! You could always upgrade those few things yourselves!
I can see people accepting that you probably already have a lot of stuff that is typical "registry" stuff, so they'd most likely be more than happy to contribute to the honeymoon instead.
I'm 36, never married, and I registered for household items and have a honeymoon registrty. We registered for things we always wanted, and never purchased for ourselves. Like my brand new Keurig coffeemaker that I am currently in love with.
@bluewolverine: Funny you would say that - My friend just turned me on to Keurig tonight in re: to tea... hmmmm...
@Future MrsB: The FI was previously married, but it was a courthouse wedding, and I've never been married before. I agree that if I'd have been married recently and going through it again - it wouldnt be appropriate at all.
Thank you Bees!! I think we'll probably do a few stores and maybe an online honeymoon registry. =)
I'm in the same boat - I'm thinking of not registering at all and letting the chips fall where they may!
http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/are-any-of-yall-registering-if-so-where
I still like my mom's idea of a liquor store sigh
I'm 36 and my FI and I have been together for 8 years living together for 6 so I'm not planning on registering and I'm planning on telling people "no gifts". My friends however think I'm crazy not to register. They keep saying that people will buy you gifts anyway and rather than get a bunch of stuff you don't want/need it's better just to register.
Just put a mix of items. We are also trying to decide what to do, and while I have in the past often resented the "time to upgrade my stuff" practice, I also recognize that people want to give you something. A mix of price points means that everyone can contribute what they want, and nonone is held hostage to buying a $280 toaster (yes, I have seen that on a registry and wanted to SCREAm!). Being resistant to a registry just makes people's lives difficult, so give them options--and that can include a honeymoon fund.
Plus, my mom pulls out dishes and trays at holidays and mentions the people that gave them to her, and I think that is really special. Thinking of the gifts as items that will be used to host guests at events in the future makes the whole thing seem a lot more gracious--but I agree in an era when weddings often happen after a couple has a house, funishings and all the dishware they could need raises a bunch of issues.
Hi! We used http://www.wanderable.com/pages/honeymoon_registry which is a free and pretty site with no ads and basically combined a honeymoon and traditional registry to suit all the tastes of our guests. Worked out really well for us! Best of luck!
I'm 34, he's 40. We have all the basics (and my mentality is always to buy quality items once instead of lower quality items multiple times) and I just registered for fine china, silverware, and some serving pieces. I already have all my Waterford.
I wasn't going to register at all, but my mother asked me to...she said that it would be nice to give people a little direction.
agree that people will want to get you something and like the direction of a registry. you can still communicate that gifts are not expected but that since people have been asking, you've acquiesed and put together a gift list to be helpful. we are using www.depositagift.com perfect so you don't get a bunch of 'stuff' you don't need. use it to register for your honeymoon or anything else you'd like money towards. maybe you need new furniture or home improvement? but honeymoons are always fun and who doesn't like to live vicariously and give a romantic gift?
I think I count because I'll be 30 when I marry FI, and he'll be 38.
We registered. We've both lived on our own and together, and I didn't think we'd need that much. So I spent a few weeks really looking at our things - there was a surprising number of things that we really needed to replace or update, and a few things we'd like to have but would never buy on our own. There's also furniture we don't own (like... a table... at which to eat meals...). So we were able to come up with a reasonable range of registry items.
ETA: we decided against things like HoneyFund or DepositAGift because of the percentage cut taken from the gift by these services. But it's also fairly common in our area for checks to be given at weddings, and gifts at showers. We figured the registry gives people options, and if they want to give us money (certainly neither is required), they'd appreciate a mode where 100% of their gift goes to our savings/future goals.
My fiance & I are both over 40 and it is my first marriage. We kind of begrudgingly registered at Macy's and Crate & Barrel - basically for replacement cookware, luggage, towels, linens, etc. - since we really do not need any housewares and whatever we registered for means we'll just donate something we already have. I didn't intend to register on Honeyfund, but my family members began getting so many inquiries from people who absolutely did not want to get us things they knew we didn't need and were asking/begging to get us something for the honeymoon instead. So I did end up registering on Honeyfund - with just the cash/check option so there isn't any cut taken out of the gifts as a pp mentioned. Its just a way for folks to give us a check but associate it with a special gift (like an elephant ride), and so far most people have gone for the Honeyfund gifts over the typical registry items. So I think if most of your guests know you & your fiance pretty well, they will realize you don't need another blender and will probably prefer to gift you something you will enjoy more - go for the Honeyfund :)
I agree with everyone else that said the honeymoon registry. Even though we are not 30-40, we are living with my parents because my dad is sick and have NO room for stuff, plus we are expecting a baby. The honeymoon registry is a perfect way for people to give you gifts without cluttering up your house.
FI and I have each been married before, I'm 35 and he's 45 and we've lived together for 2.5 years. Originally I'd not planned on registering--it just seemed unnecessary--but it's true what PP have said: people want to gift you, regardless of the situation. I've already got a friend asking what kind of shower I want and the wedding's 2 years away!
Chances are we'll register for some traditional gifts and set up a honeyfund, too, for those who want to show their love and support via gifts (one of the love languages, after all!). It's less that we expect them, more that we want to make it easier for those who are interested.
@reebee: How does the cash/check option work? I didn't have time for more than a quick peek just now, but it looks like you just make a registry, and it instructs people to send you the cash or checks (versus paying through the site).
@atalante: Yes, that's exactly right - you just set up your honeyfund registry (free of charge) and only accept cash/checks so that people can "pledge" you something from the registry and then just print out the page & include a check with it when they give it to you.
We aren't registering... He is 41 and I am 37 and this is both our second marriage, so we really didn't feel comfortable registering... just our personal preference.
Well I'm technically not 30 something but close enough..lol I'm 28, he's 32. I really did not want to register, just did it last week and my wedding is next month...lol My boss is the sweetest wedding maniac and she just HAD to get us something so I registered for small household items. I'm having a very small ceremony and most of the people purchasing gifts won't be attending (getting them at bridal shower). With that taken into consideration I didn't register for anything expensive. Crock pots, blenders..yada
I'm 34 and hubby is 36. We were both married before (mine a courthouse wedding and no gifts) but he had a wedding. We absolutely registered for upgrades we wanted and stuff we didn't have "together" such as china. However, keep this in mind: registry comes in handy mostly for the shower! We got VERY few actual "gifts" for the wedding itself--mostly cash which is great but it was ALL gifts at the shower and mostly stuff under $50 or so. I'm sure there are still some small items you'd like or need. ;-)
I spoke with my aunt yesterday who sells Pampered Chef, and I think I'm going to go the route of Pampered Chef bridal shower registry as well as register at a local store like Kohls or Bed Bath and Beyond. I think all bases will be covered that way. =)
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Okay - FI is just a smidge over 40, and I had my 30th birthday for the third time this year... we have two kids, ages 13 and 15 (16 when we get married), and FI was married before. We live together and share everything that we already have. We are paying for wedding ourselves, and are having a decent size (150 ppl) wedding with 4 bm and gm in attendance.
My question is this.. do we do a bridal registry? Should we register for honeymoon help, or household items? We had previously set a DW and decided to go local for reasons of family and friends attendance. So now, the honeymoon is looking towards the spontaneous side.
I'm not sure of etiquette or tradition, and if we should just register and hope for the best, or what? FI just said the other day, he would really like some new silverware, but Momma wants a vacay! Seriously though.. what would you do??