30+ first time brides … are you paying for your own wedding?

posted 3 years ago in 30 Something
  • poll: Are you paying for your wedding?
    Yes, we are paying for the whole wedding ourselves : (146 votes)
    38 %
    We are paying for most of the wedding with some small contribution from others : (122 votes)
    32 %
    We are paying about half of the total cost : (37 votes)
    10 %
    We are paying about a quarter of the total cost : (31 votes)
    8 %
    We will pay for one or two things only, the rest will be paid by others : (31 votes)
    8 %
    We are not paying anything at all for our wedding : (13 votes)
    3 %
    Other : (3 votes)
    1 %
  • Post # 2
    Member
    1088 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    SellyJo:  DH and I had both lived away from home for several years with good jobs, flats etc. but my parents paid for about half our wedding. Since we were little my Dad has been saving in his wedding fund and is very traditional so wanted to help us out. If I had met the right person in my 20s he would have paid, why should the fact that I didn’t change anything?

    I have a great relationship with my parents and am not ashamed to say that I’m a total Daddy’s girl. 🙂 I think he would have been hurt if I had refused his money. My parents were also extremely cool about not interfering. They let us do exactly as we wanted and only wanted to invite 2 extra people.

    Having said all that, he gave us a budget and said if absolutely necessary, we could go a little higher. We stayed well within the original figure and any extras were paid for by DH and I. For example DH loves wine and it was important to him to serve a really good one with dinner, rather than the basic table wine from the caterer so he paid for that. We did a lot of DIY stuff and didn’t go overboard. I think it was a good compromise.

    BTW I was 31 when we got married.

    Post # 3
    Member
    3718 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    We paid for 90% ourselves (I was 38, DH was 37 when we got married). My mom paid for my dress. My MIL paid for the cake. My BIL, very generously, paid the venue hire fee (£950) as our wedding present. 

    we live in the US and the wedding was in Scotland where DH’s family lives. We paid for everything else. 

    Post # 4
    Member
    8425 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: April 2013

    My mom helped with my dress and my MIL helped with some of our photography, other than that we paid for the rest of it ourselves (our biggest splurges were food and alcohol).  My husband and I were 33 and 37 when we got married, plus I didn’t want to deal with having to invite certain people, decorating a specific way, etc.  I feel like you pay for weddings with your own money or your own sanity.

    Post # 5
    Member
    103 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: November 2014

    My mom is footing the bill for the majority of the wedding…she wants to and it doesn’t hurt her financially and we really appreciate the help.  I’m 30 and FI is 32.

    Post # 6
    Member
    318 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: November 2014

    I’m 34 and fiancé is 35 and we are paying for the whole thing ourselves. It would have been nice to have extra money from others, but we are fiancialy perfect to do it on our own. And we get to plan everything exactly how we want it because we are footing the bill so it has nice perks.

    Post # 6
    Member
    671 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    Woah, I’m actually a bit shocked by the responses… And jealous!!!! We’re paying 100 percent ourselves, but also eloping. But even if we didnt there wouldn’t have been any help 🙁

    Post # 8
    Member
    219 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    we fall into the age category (I’m 35 he is 41), but regardless of our ages we don’t have the kind if families that would have contributed toward any wedding. It’s bit their cup of tea.

    Post # 9
    Member
    760 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2014 - Gold Hill Gardens

    We are incredibly grateful to our parents – they have given us the chance to have a wedding. I’m 34, my fiancé is 32, and while we both have stable jobs, they don’t afford us the opportunity to save for a house, live, and pay for a wedding. For reference, I am a public school teacher (finishing my 8th year) and my fiancé is an engineer by training and a manufacturer by trade. My parents, in particular, told us not to go into savings, to use them for a house, and to that they wanted to give us this. 

    Post # 10
    Member
    146 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: October 2014

    My parents graciously paid for the photographer and DJ. We are paying for everything else. I’m 32 and he is 30. We have great careers though and we are keeping our costs down by DIYing a lot of items. 

    Post # 11
    Member
    320 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    I’ll be 3 days past my 37th birthday when we marry. My FI will be 35. While we have stable jobs and own a home, have great savings, my parents have given us a generous amount for the wedding. We agreed that anything above that amount, I will pay for. I’m paying for honeymoon, my bridal shoes, jewelry, plus a few other expenses. I’m only paying for them because I chose an expensive venue, etc or else everything could have easily been done within my parent’s budget. My parents paid for my sister’s wedding when she got married in her early 20s, they’ve supported my brother into his 30s, and really want to contribute to my wedding, even if we could have afforded it ourselves. 

    Post # 13
    Member
    183 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: September 2015

    I will be 32 and FI will be 38 when we get married. We will be paying for the photog, dj, linens, trolley, flowers and everything else, and our parents will be paying for the food and beverages at the reception. We have this agreement as our parents are in control of the invitation list (which is currently at 370 people). If we were paying it definitely would be a lot less people!  We are fortunate that they can help. 

    Post # 14
    Member
    2421 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: February 2015

    My parents are retired, they’ve already paid enough for me to do a lot of amazing things while I was growing up.  FI and I have good jobs, we’d rather our parents keep their money for retirement and travel, do what they love. 

    We budgeted for everything ourselves, his mom has paid for the flowers at all his siblings weddings, so she’s offerred to do the same for us (I kept the flower budget to $550.)  My mum has offered to pay for the invites ($150) and DJ ($1000).  We’re paying for the rest.  My mum has also bought some decor pieces on her own, which is fine with me.  They’re nominal expenses.

    Post # 14
    Member
    2421 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: February 2015

    My parents are retired, they’ve already paid enough for me to do a lot of amazing things while I was growing up.  FI and I have good jobs, we’d rather our parents keep their money for retirement and travel, do what they love. 

    We budgeted for everything ourselves, his mom has paid for the flowers at all his siblings weddings, so she’s offerred to do the same for us (I kept the flower budget to $550.)  My mum has offered to pay for the invites ($150) and DJ ($1000).  We’re paying for the rest.  My mum has also bought some decor pieces on her own, which is fine with me.  They’re nominal expenses.

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