Post # 1
Do you feel different planning a wedding in your 30s as opposed to planning one in your 20s? Even if this is your first wedding, what do you think you’re doing that you didn’t consider in your 20s? Also, are you paying for your own wedding or your parents?
Post # 3
great question!!! i’m closer to 30 than 29 now (by 2 days lol!!)
We are paying for everything ourselves. I actually am not into what other people think my wedding should be. I am doing a wedding that is completely totally us. I am also not into being a princess on my wedding day. I sort of wanted that in my 20s, now I am all about cool sophistication.
I also think I am a bit more understanding (although still anal and crazy). The day is more about our family becoming more than my vision and my day. I want our family to be represented, not just me.
Post # 4
I wouldn’t have had the money upfront to pay for the wedding in my 20’s. In my 20’s, it probably would have been more people, more party. Now I want a smaller, more intimate wedding. Fewer people in our wedding party, and definitely different things to register for….how things change when you own a house and already had to furnish it, and I feel too guilty asking for upgrades!
Post # 5
I am 30 and YES YES YES the wedding my FI and I are planning is extremely different that something I would have planned had I gotten married in my 20’s. The only thing that would be the same is the fact that I have always wanted a smaller quest list. We are having 100-120. We are marrying on Halloween and having fun with it. In my 20’s I know I would have opted for a more traditional wedding on a non holiday date
Post # 6
i concur with ikphmd. I would’ve had it at a posh hotel for major after parties. I would’ve had to get a 2nd job and charge everything. Now its going to be something small and intimate (max 25 people). And I have the money to pay upfront myself.
Before I probably would’ve been looking at other weddings, stealing ideas and comparing what i was doing to try to “keep up with the Jones”. Now I could careless and just want the people that I care about the most there. Then have a summer bbq to party it up.
But this is just me 🙂
Post # 7
My parents paid for a party for 120 people after I eloped at 21. Now I am 32 and having for a wedding for 50 people, FI and I are paying for it by ourselves. The first one was more traditional. This one is what is more reflective of me.
Post # 8
Definitely different. I’ve been engaged (a few times) before and freak out with wedding planning. But I love to plan parties so our wedding, although somewhat traditional, is going to be a family party.
Post # 9
Yep def different this go around. When I was 23 planning my first wedding my parents were paying for it all. They also helped me with everything… picking the venue/photogo/cakes/dress/etc. I also was doing a very traditional wedding and had all my cousins as bridesmaids because that’s what my parents thought was the proper thing to do.
This go around we are paying for 1/3 of the wedding, his parents 1/3 and mine 1/3. I’ve been so laid back about getting things done. I am having fun doing the research with just me and my FI and letting the parents know that things are taken care of. We are having a very non-traditional wedding in an airplane hangar and couldn’t be more excited!
The other thing I’ve noticed is that we (my FI and I) are having to combine households/cars/bank accounts etc. My FI and I are having to sit down and have serious convos about how to combine our items/accounts in the best way to help save money and make things easy on us. I didn’t have that the first go around. I was moving into his home and buying a car once we got married. My ex-FI and I never had conversations about how to handle bank accounts, etc. because I was fresh out of college and just going from my parents accounts to his. I didn’t have my own accounts established. Big difference!
Post # 10
it seems that the majority of us will have smaller weddings. I don’t want more than 75 people at mine (and i’m praying for 60 tops)…
Post # 11
I always knew I wanted a small intimate wedding but now at age 31 and looking at what I could buy instead of having a wedding, I nixed a more traditional wedding for an elopement with just the parents and siblings being there. For me I’ve gotten older and I know who I am and having a traditional wedding just isn’t me (or him for that matter) and I think when I was in my 20’s I would have been pressured into having the party even if it was on the small side. I just want to be married to my sweetie and all the rest is kind of meh.
Post # 12
Love this post! I’ll be 30 when I get married in August, and my FI is 40. We’re having to talk pre-nup…yuck! But it’s all different when you have assets and business and stuff (well I don’t have any of that stuff, but he does : ).
We are also going smaller…85. I’ve never been a big fan of spending lavishly, but I find myself trying definitely to keep costs down so that we can add a closet to our bedroom and repaint our house. Super romantic, princessy stuff like that! ; )
I’m excited to have waited this long though…the wedding will definitely reflect both of us, not just me, and will be an intimate celebration we will all remember.
Post # 13
Both of us will be 35 when we marry – I don’t think I’d plan differently from a whose paying perspective (I would have paid in my 20’s too), but I think I’m treating my wedding party differently. I would have had a big, blow-out wedding party – kind of a ‘whose-who’ of friendship. But, now – FI and I decided we don’t want a formal wedding party at all. Our very closest friends are 100% supportive and I’ve asked them to be my ‘unofficial’ wedding party – which was endearing.
Post # 14
I was never engaged or married before, but I do think my vision for my wedding changed a little as I got older. I think I definitely wanted to pare things down a little bit and cut the guest list from what I might have wanted in my 20’s. Also, we paid for everything ourselves, so I think that impacted that decision as well. We had a total of 86 people and it was kind of awesome to be able to talk to everyone and see everyone AND have fun dancing and hanging out.
Post # 15
I am 34, my groom to be hasn’t hit 30 just yet. I would say that had I married in my 20s, my parents would have contributed alot more! That said, its nice to have complete control over my wedding even with the extra added $$$ responsibility. Also, my vision for a “perfect wedding” is definitely much smaller, more low key than it would have been had I been in my 20s.
Post # 16
I am 38 and FH is 36. We are paying for our wedding, but that gives us control over what we want, so I like that! However, if I was in my 20s’, I would still be paying for the wedding, too!
In my 20s’ I probably would have had several bridesmaids and fretted over who would be MOH. Now I really have no desire to have a bridal party and won’t have bridesmaids.
I feel I am more confident in many ways, so I doubt I will be consumed with worrying about what makes other people happy. Both FH and I really want to focus on the union of our lives and not so much family drama (which I am sure will come up at some point!).
I don’t have a dress yet, but I know that I am looking for something sophisticated, elegant with a dash of sexy. Never had the desire to be a “princess” in my 20s’ and certainly don’t have the desire at 38!