30s Mommas

posted 3 years ago in Pregnancy
Post # 3
Member
5460 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

@OfficeBride:  

We didn’t start TTC until I was 31!

 

Did you feel any pressure to start a family once you hit 30?


Nope.  I waited til I was ready, and if that had been at 25, great.  If it had been never, that’s great too.  I never had the “ticking biological clock” that I expected to have.  Our families had kind of given up the pressure thing and just assumed I would never have kids.  

 

Why did you “wait” until your 30s?


I wanted to wait until we were married (got married at 31 after a 2 year engagement) and I wanted to save more money and enjoy our child free lives a little longer.  

 

How have you found and managed balance in your life?


It takes a lot of partner support to get balance.  DD is 5 1/2 months old, and I’m training for a half marathon.  DH still plays rugby.  We both work full time.  We make it work.  Our house has been cleaner, I’m not going to lie!  It’s important for us to hang out on the couch every now and then with the dogs, to have hobbies and activities that we each get to do on a regular basis without each other or the baby.  We make time for each other when we can.  We maximize our time alone with DD (DH works evenings) so he will spend one-on-one time with her in the mornings and snuggle in bed after her first bottle, and I will take her to the swings at the park or we go to the pool in the evenings.  

 

What do you and your partner do for a living?


He is a fitness consultant/personal trainer at a gym and I work in a pediatric lab.  

Post # 4
Member
2627 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

@OfficeBride:  I am 31 and due in about 5 weeks.

Did you feel any pressure to start a family once you hit 30?  Not really. I knew both moms wanted us to have a baby but no real pressure. Mostly from strangers who would ask us when we would have a kid. But overall not a lot.

Why did you “wait” until your 30s?

The usual.  We wanted to have spent time being married. To be able to have enough savings/earnings to not really have to make large tradeoffs. IE kid or a vacation. We wanted both.

How have you found and managed balance in your life? 

Ill let you know next year 🙂  We are friends with people with very young kids and they do great at balancing life so I suspect we will fall in line with them.  

What do you and your partner do for a living?

I am a Marketing Manager and DH is a Senior Finance Manager (or sorts… each rotation is a different focus IE supply chain, M&A etc).  

However, we just moved (DH’s job) and I am ending my job next Friday and will look for a new job at the beginning of next year. Depending on how long that takes Ill be home anywhere from 3 months and up.

Post # 5
Member
284 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

@OfficeBride:  

Did you feel any pressure to start a family once you hit 30?

I really didn´t feel any pressure, buuuttt I really wanted to start having kids earlier.  I want to be a young mom and be able to do things with my kids.  I have come to realize that I am only as old as I make myself out to be, so I can still do all the things that I wanted to do with my kids even though it happened later for me.

Why did you “wait” until your 30s?


We didn´t get married until I was 31 and I wanted to be married first.  My DH and I were together for 6 years before we got married because of financial reasons and even though people said we could have kids before we got married, that wasn´t a choice for me.

How have you found and managed balance in your life?


Still working on the balance thing, but we are figuring each other and life out.  I just take it one day at a time and try to focus on the now.

What do you and your partner do for a living?


I teach Spanish at a high school and my DH runs a division of a concrete company.

 

BTW I love the idea of this board!  I agree there are a lot of 20s mamas, but not so many in there 30s and it is a little different.

Read more: http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/30s-mommas#postform#ixzz2ggINnUR7

Post # 6
Member
3718 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Did you feel any pressure to start a family once you hit  30?

Only from myself. I’m 38 and DH is 37 so we knew if we wanted kids we needed to get a move on.

Why did you “wait” until your 30s?

I hadn’t found the right guy yet. I didn’t meet DH until 3 weeks before I turned 36. I was actually thinking of having kids alone, but then I met DH 🙂

How have you found and managed balance in your life?
 

We don’t have any kids yet, we’re TTC so I’ll let you know when we have kids. I’m sure there will be some major adjustments!

What do you and your partner do for a living?

I’m a high school English teacher, DH does something with computers I don’t really understand 🙂

 

 

 

 

Post # 7
Member
232 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Did you feel any pressure to start a family once you hit 30?

 

I didn’t, but that is because when I turned 30 I was engaged & planning a wedding. And we were going to start TTC right after the wedding (ended up with a surprise pregnancy and decided to push up the wedding date). Years ago, I had imagined that I would be married for a year or so by the time I turned 30 and that I would start TTC after my 30th bday. So, I really wasn’t too far off from what I had envisioned.

 

Why did you “wait” until your 30s?

 

I wanted to wait for marriage. DH and I have been together a long time, but I really wanted the commitment of marriage before we had kids. And he took a little longer to propose than I wanted him to 😉

 

How have you found and managed balance in your life?

 

My EDD is approaching… so I don’t have an answer yet. But I hope to take the best of what I’ve learned from our parents & friends w/ kids and try to find what works for us. I will be returning to work after leave, so we’ll have to have some sort of balance.

 

What do you and your partner do for a living?

 

I work in property management and DH is a contractor.

 

Post # 8
Member
3756 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

Did you feel any pressure to start a family once you hit 30? Nope, I was still living the single life at 30 and loving it, but was ready to find the one to settle down with.

Why did you “wait” until your 30s? I didn’t wait, I just lived a carefree and single life after a devastating breakup in my early twenties. I was just in no rush. 

How have you found and managed balance in your life? I don’t know that I have yet..

What do you and your partner do for a living? I am a software programmer and he is a project manager for a company that works with pharmaceutical equipment

 

Post # 9
Member
2258 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

Great idea for a thread! I’ll be 31 when I’m due in March, and DH is 34.

Did you feel any pressure to start a family once you hit 30? Getting into my late 20’s I started getting worried about finding a guy moreso than about having kids. DH and I met when I was 28, not a day too soon!  

Why did you “wait” until your 30s?  See above – we met when I was 28, married at 29, conceived at 30, and our baby boy will come into the world when I’m 31! When I was younger I always imagined being married and having kids before I was 25 – but I was still in grad school up till I was 29 and had absolutely no time for a marriage or kids during school, so my young self definitely had a very unrealistic plan.

How have you found and managed balance in your life? It’s not bad now with the two of us – renovating our house, spending time with our pets, work, hiking. Looking forward to fitting a baby into our daily life!

What do you and your partner do for a living? I’m a veterinarian, he’s an an electrical engineer.

Post # 10
Member
1457 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

Did you feel any pressure to start a family once you hit 30?

Not really. I was still trying to decide if I wanted kids at all or not. Sometimes, I think it would have been great to wait another 5 years, just so I could have greedy “us time” with my husband since we didn’t meet until we were a bit older. I’m glad that we waited.

Why did you “wait” until your 30s?


I didn’t meet my husband until I was 28 (he’s three years younger). I moved across the country to live with him, so factor in another six months of long distance dating, a year of living together before getting engaged with a deployment or two stuck in there (and a year-long engagement), and then a solid year of just being happily married before TTC…and 32 came faster than I thought it would. I wasn’t ready before then, and I am SO glad I didn’t have kids with any of the other guys I dated while I was in my 20s. I feel like I got to see the world, experience things on my own, find my identity, and find my soul mate…so waiting wasn’t an issue. I never even wanted kids before meeting my husband. It was the furthest thing from my mind,

How have you found and managed balance in your life?


Well…baby isn’t due until January 2014, so I’m not sure if I’m qualified to answer this yet! It can be challenging enough with just the two of us, both working full-time, and him being gone for extended periods of time for the Navy. But  we communicate about every thing, no matter how small. I’m apprehensive about how much having a kid is going to change our worlds, but I’m confident that the solid relationship with open communication that we’ve built…and that we’ve both put a lot of thought into the whole “having kids” thing before even trying…will be helpful!

What do you and your partner do for a living?

My husband is a submariner in the Navy. I work at a local newspaper. I plan on continuing to work full-time after the baby arrives.

Post # 11
Member
1563 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

Nice idea! I often feel “old” around these parts. ETA: I’ll be 31 in a month and baby #1 is due in February.

Did you feel any pressure to start a family once you hit 30?

Yes, definitely! I got married at 29 and turned 30 two months later. I kind of felt like we had to start trying earlier than most married couples do.

 

Why did you “wait” until your 30s?

 

I wanted to meet the right person and we did not meet each other until I was 25 and he was 27. We were in an LDR for a long time and I wanted to live together and be married for a certain amount of time before adding kids into the mix.

How have you found and managed balance in your life?

I guess I’d have to say ensuring that work doesn’t intrude into the personal life as much as it could when I was in my 20s. I understand the importance of keeping both things as separate as possible.

What do you and your partner do for a living?

I work in higher education and my husband works in the insurance industry.

 

 

 

Post # 12
cherrypieBee
1059 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2008 - A tiny town just outside of Glacier National Park

I’m 30, soon to be 31. He’s 33.

Did you feel any pressure to start a family once you hit 30?

No. I just felt more adult once I turned 30, and personally ready.

Why did you “wait” until your 30s?

My 30s never struck me as a “thing.” After 30 just turned out to be when I was ready.

How have you found and managed balance in your life?

Uh, it’s a work in progress?

What do you and your partner do for a living?

I am a professional photographer (home studio) and he is a nurse practitioner at UW hospital. I will be taking time off from my business to start our family, but will get back into it 3/4 time at some point post-partum.

Post # 13
Member
103 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

I’m 30, turning 31 soon…and he’s 31.

Did you feel any pressure to start a family once you hit 30?

Not really. I think I felt the most pressure right after I got married when everyone kept asking when kids were coming…especially our moms! None of my close friends have kids or are even close to wanting to start a family yet so that minimized the pressure even more.

Why did you “wait” until your 30s?
We just got married 3 years ago after dating for 6 years. We wanted to start our careers, have some financial stability, buy a house and do some traveling before starting a family. In all honesty, we just both feel waaayyyy younger than we are so we didn’t even think about the fact that we would be in our 30s when we started a family.

How have you found and managed balance in your life?
Well I’ll probably answer this differently in March when baby comes…but I think we currently have great balance in our lives. We got a puppy in May which brought about some significant changes for us but we adapted quickly. We both work full-time, still participate in activities we’re interested in (eg. flag football) and make time to have dinner together pretty much everyday and spend time with our pup. We both feel we have a great work/life balance…hopefully we can maintain that balance when baby gets here!

What do you and your partner do for a living?

I’m in healthcare management and he works for a venture fund and a biotech start-up.

Post # 14
Member
9137 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL

@OfficeBride:  We’re almost there; just one more year (or two).  I turn 30 in December so we will be TTC in my 30s.

Did you feel any pressure to start a family once you hit 30? Absolutely, especially since we’re both only children.  It’s even worse since this year I was diagnosed with cervical cancer and had to have a LEEP; now I just found out I ahve more atypical cells and will probably need more treatment before we can TTC.  It’s hard not to get upset that I may have waited too long to TTC.

Why did you “wait” until your 30s? I wanted to establish my career and make enough money that I could afford to enjoy my pregnancy and raising kids without having to live paycheck to paycheck.  Plus, it may sound old fashioned, but I wanted to be married before having children.

How have you found and managed balance in your life? I finally found myself as a person in my late 20’s.  As far as balance, I love my job but my homelife with my FI and our dog (and our future child/ren) is what I really work for.

What do you and your partner do for a living? I am an attorney, he’s a writer.

Post # 15
Hostess
11469 posts
Sugar Beekeeper

@OfficeBride:  Great thread!

Did you feel any pressure to start a family once you hit 30? Honestly, no. I feel that my family has accepted our slow timeframe that came with us waiting so long to get married. I had always said I didn’t want kids right away so I think once I am pregnant they will be a bit surprised.

Physically yes I do feel pressured. I am always hearing the precautions for waiting until 30’s and mid-30’s for children. It is frustrating to think that once we are emotionally and financially very secure we are physically not as “fit” for having babies. Ugh, who designed this!?!

Why did you “wait” until your 30s?

We just got married in 2012. We have been together seven years this month and were never on a fast track for anything. We wanted to be very financially secure even before marriage and started down that path which has been very good to us. I haven’t really waited just wasn’t ready until now. I really think DH was ready long before I was.

How have you found and managed balance in your life?

I don’t have balance, not even close. I am a fitness nut, work full time, play volleyball in several leagues and coach girls throughout the year. No, I don’t have balance but once the baby arrives I will be forced to change my priorities and I am absolutely okay with that.

With that same train of thought I will absolutely be the mom that juggles everything. I don’t see having a baby as a good enough reason to give up the things you are passionate about.

What do you and your partner do for a living?

DH is in sales, I am in international marketing and sales.

Post # 16
Member
208 posts
Helper bee

I’m 32 and DH is 33 with baby due in January 

Did you feel any pressure to start a family once you hit 30?  Just internal pressure worrying that it would be difficult to get pregnant.  I seriously worried about this for over a year and then got KU on the first try which I was not expecting.  My mom didn’t have her first kid til 34 so she didn’t put any pressure on me by MIL definitely wanted grandchildren sooner.

Why did you “wait” until your 30s?  We got married at 28 and wanted to enjoy ourselves and buy a place before starting a family.  We’ve gotten to travel to a lot of places and bought our apartment in January 2012.  We chose to wait another year to rebuild our savings and then start trying.

How have you found and managed balance in your life? We will see when the baby comes but we both have reached a place in our lives where we’ve built our savings and don’t need to worry about living paycheck to paycheck.  I think that makes life less stressful and allows us to pay for the baby without worrying about every little expense (although based on how we’ve lived in the past we still try to keep expenses to a minimum).  We both also have similar jobs so we understand the demands that work has on us and not to be resentful when one has to travel or stay late.  I see so many of my collegues marriages suffer because the two people don’t have the same expectations.

What do you and your partner do for a living? We both work in finance 

 

 

 

 

 

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