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I might be in the minority vote here, but I don't think you owe the restaurant anything! This is business. I mean of course this is all for a wedding which is personal, but until your wedding day, this is a business transaction. If they aren't planning on holding up to their end of the bargain, you have to do what's right for you guys. That's the problem with just a verbal agreement, either party can re-neg at any point. But, I'd still try to speak to them about this, to see if they can at least lower this fee, before you totally burn the bridge. I hope the marina can work with you guys! It sounds like that's where you're meant to be.
You don't owe the resturant anything and if you haven't signed a contract, go for the marina! Although I would wait until you have final absolute confirmation from them that they can do what you want within your price range, bc you don't want to burn your bridges with the other resturant and then be SOL when the marina is too expensive or something...
But adding a $3k fee without prior notice would be enough for me to walk away, personally, espcially if your dream venue is available...
Without a contract, I would be super nervous continuing to work with the restaurant--who knows what other fees they may feel free to tack on, considering they surprised you with this one? If you are more comfortable dealing with the marina, I'd go that route, but keep in mind there may be many things to change/decide and not a super long time to make those decisions. Before canceling with the restaurant, though, I'd make sure you're all settled with the marina; you don't want to be left without any reception venue at all. Good luck!
Ummm. Yeah. I would totally change it. That $3000 fee is RIDICULOUS.
I knew that going forward without a contract was risky... I just assumed that the restaurant owner had no clue what she was doing, and was fine with not charging a site fee. Mistake on my part, for sure. BUT, still, who drops an "oh that'll be an extra three grand" via EMAIL 32 days before the event?
We actually had to pay $2000. for set-up, waitstaff and clean-up,but were told about it in the original contract. The site fee was an additional $5000. The caterer provided all the food, chefs, servers and bartenders, and they don't come cheap or free. You should have been told about it upfront,tho.
I agree that before you cancel anything, see what your dream venue will do for you. You may be hit with the same service charges, tho. Hope you get what you want! Good luck.
You owe the restaurant nothing! Contracts are there to protect both you and the vendor. This vendor tried to screw you over by springing these charges on you with out a contract, now it's time for him to get a taste of his own medicine. If he complains, I would say "Well, you were the one who didn't want to do a contract, so I guess you're SOL." He needs to learn a tough lesson- when you treat people like crap and try to take advantage of them, you loose business.
I really hope the marina works out. It sounds like a better location, and they have been upfront and honest with you from the beginning. Even if they come in a little over your budget, it will still be better than the $3000 fee. And I say even if the marina doesn't work out, anywhere would be better than this shady restaurant at this point!
Oh, I hope the Marina works out for you. Have them draw up the total agreement, so you don't have any surprises with them!!! Good luck!! :)
Yep - if you want to walk away from the restaurant, do it! You have no obligation to them and a fee that comes out of no where is ridiculous - especially when you specifically inquired about it before.
If the marina can accommodate you within your budget (or at least close enough to it), I would make arrangements to do the reception there. That is what you really wanted the whole time anyways! And they have been honest and open with you, so I do not see any sketchy business happening with them!
***Update***
We're so screwed right now. The manager of the marina won't shut the place down for us from 7-10 pm, because he doesn't want to displace 50-70 regulars. I offered to have the regulars sit on the deck, he wasn't interested. I offered to let the regulars come in after 10 pm, he wasn't interested. He offered to set up tents in their gravel parking lot (shared with the boat launch), which is laughable, at best, for us. Neither of us was willing to compromise.
Sidenote: WTF? What kind of businessperson turns down a gaurantee of $8,000- 10,000 to chance having a really good night? I don't understand!
So, now we're down to two options. Pay the *surprise* $3,000 site fee (also see if we can negotiate it down) to use the restaurant (which isn't totally big enough for our guest list- long story, FI didn't understand the ramifications of inviting 300 people and so here we are).
OR, seeing if we can put together a tented reception at my parents house in 28 days. I made a temporary hold on the necessary tents yesterday. We have no caterer, or DJ/ sound equipment (my cousin was oging to use the restaurant's sound equipment to DJ).
Give me some advice. Where do we go from here?
PS: Let this be a lesson to anyone putting together a wedding reception without a contract. MAKE your venue sign a contract.
If you are not bined to a contract then definitely go for the one you want :)
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Hi bees... I need some moral advice for the situation I find myself in.
We're getting married on July 10, at my parent's lake place in a small town in Northern Idaho. Not a very sophisticated place, but we aren't sophisticated people, and we're really excited for a very pared down wedding in a place that means a lot to us.
My original choice for a reception venue was the marina in town. Great space, seats 250, right on the water, everyone could fit inside if it rains. big dance floor, etc. I called in October, and due to the economy they were uncertain if they'd be open in 2010, and the owner didn't feel comfortable committing to me. I was bummed, but appreciated his honesty.
We switched gears, and made arrangements to use a restaurant in town. Much smaller space, but great deck overlooking the lake. It had it's drawbacks; primarily that if it rains our 150 anticipated guests will be crammed in. And that the owner went MIA from November through April (they close in the winter, and the shut off their phone without giving me a second contact!). When we made these arrangements in October, I asked all of the mandatory questions: contract? (they didn't need one) Deposit ?(didn't need one). Site fee? (nope, we're just glad for your business!) okay, so for no site fee, no deposit and no contract, we had a reception venue space. I was uneasy, but it was the only way to make a lakeside wedding work, so we went with it.
Fast forward to yesterday. The owner, who has been difficult to work with is finally emailing me the per plate price for the menu, as well as their alcohol list so we can choose what beer and wine to host. And she adds, at the bottom of the email, this:
"By the way, we will also charge a $3,000 fee to pay for wait staff, bartenders, and setup and clean up efforts."
I lost my shit at that point.
This fee was totally out of the blue. She didn't mention it during any number of phone calls or the on-site visit we did two weeks ago. I specifically asked about it in October, and she said no.
To add to the drama, the marina is open. We walked in over Memorial Day, and I was bummed that we weren't using it. Like in tears. After yesterday's email, I called the marina's owner to see if it would be possible to switch at the last minute. He's working on seeing if they can do it for within our budget.
So, bees, what do I do? What are my moral obligations at this point? Can I leave the restaurant high and dry due to this suprise additional charge (which is over half of our entire reception budget and would totally blow our budget). Do I owe them money for the effort they (kind of) put in to making this happen?
Or, can I use this suprise charge as the door to using the venue I wanted in the first place? The venue that better meets our needs in terms of space for 150 guests, dancing, etc.?
It's a small town. I don't want to be the asshole who caused drama. Buuutttt... I can get what I originally wanted, and at a cheaper price....
advice?