Post # 1
I started showing at 4 months. I’m also really bloated. I have actually put on more weight than i intended to. At 17.5 weeks i have gained 6kg (13 pounds) which i understand is a lot. I’m retaining water, my feet are swollen, i’ve gone up a bra size. I had bad morning sickness and the only thing i could stomach for 2.5 months was carbohydrates.
These are the comments i’ve recieved this week, from people who know i’m pregnant
From my best friend (who is also a doctor) “You’ve gained heaps of weight, especially on your face, but you’re glowing”
From my MIL’s best friend’s daughter (who is studying to be a doctor) “You’ve gone fat” “Well i am pregnant” “Yeah, but your arms are bigger than your stomach”
From my aunty’s SIL “DH and i are expecting” “Oh, that’s why you’ve gone fatter”
From one of my maids “You’re getting really fat”
From my MIL “You’re getting fatter, almost as fat as you were back in October”
From my hairdresser “Your stomach is so fat”
Like seriously, i cannot believe the audacity of some people. I feel so hurt when i recieve these comments. I mean i know i’ve put on weight, i can feel it, i own a mirror but what am i supposed to do about? I’m exercising, i’m eating as healthily as i can. What do they expect me to do? Go for a run? Lift some weights?
I suffered an eating disorder in my teens (from the ages of 15-17) that was so bad that i lost a lot of hair and stopped menstruating. Over the past 10 years though i have maintained a healthy weight and am proud of that. It’s hard to see myself gaining weight and these comments really hurt me. What do you say when poeple say things like that to you?
Post # 2
People suck! I’m sure you look great! My grandpa always called my cousin fat when she was pregnant. I’m sure you are at that weird phase of begining to show where it doesn’t look distinctly like a baby belly! Also, 1lb a week is ok! You don’t sound like you gained way too much
Post # 3
People REALLY do suck!
My own MIL asked me how far along I was and when I told her she got huge eyes and said “ARE YOU SURE? YOU LOOK SO MUCH BIGGER!”
But she is a Bi*tch, so no real shocker there.
I am sorry people are being mean! Hugs!
Post # 4
OMG! I would be SO pissed! Especially since these people KNOW that you are pregnant. I know everyone is always worried about the baby weight, but really think about it. You’re creating a brand new life! Eat as much as you want, and enjoy it while it lasts. I’m sure you look beautiful!
Post # 5
Those people are absolutely insane for telling a woman who is pregnant she is fat. Seriously its a time for loving your body, not hating it.
To family (in a good mood) Id say: “geesh thanks for the support. Im really feeling loved right now. I must be really fat, since this is the first time I have ever heard someone call a pregnant woman fat. Thanks for pointing it out. I feel just awesome right now” My sarcasm would reach unbelievable heights…
and if I were in an impolite mood I’d say “shut your $%#%#%$ face”
To strangers/aquaintances (hair dresser) “Yeah its my first pregnancy THANKS FOR THE SUPPORT. Do you tell every pregnant woman that they look fat? Or am I just lucky?”
yeah Id get snippy. Id get rude either way. Its not acceptable for them to say the word “fat” when talkng about someone elses body but particularly someone who is growing another human being…. You have ever right to open your mouth and tear at ’em.
Post # 6
Geeze! The people closest to you are going to give you another eating disorder 🙁 I can’t believe how rude and unsupportive they are being, weight gain is NORMAL during pregnancy. You’re are fine, just pregnant (congratulations by the way!!!!). Don’t let what they are saying getting you down as long as you and baby are healthy it doesn’t matter what anyone thinks. I would stand up for yourself to these comments, just because you’re pregnant doesn’t meant people get to just comment on your weight and appearance. Pregnancy doesn’t equal fair game for comments.
I on the other hand am not pregnant and I gained 60lbs over the course of 2 1/2 years, and my mother regular comments on it and questions if I’m sticking to my diet. I know shes worried especailly with my health a concern now but It gets tiring after awhile. Support goes a lot further than nagging and negativity. I’ve had to ask her to stop. If you can’t say anything nice don’t say anything.
youre right about the mirror, we all have them, so saying something you already notice is just frustrating. Like, I’m fully aware I’ve gained weight, after all, I am the one who has to buy pants 5 sizes bigger than before. I’m not dumb and I’m not blind….but…., you’re pregnant there isn’t anything you can do about your growing belly and bloating, most women balloon in their legs and arms from water weight and I know many who lose that water weight basically immediately after. Everyone’s body responds to pregnancy a bit different.
Post # 7
Like seriously, I would surround myself with less assholes.
Post # 8
Ugh, there is no excuse for people to be so rude. Your weight gain is really none of their business! I’m sure you look lovely.
On a different note though, have you tried making a conscience effort to drink more water? I’ve recently started consciously getting 64 oz during the work day, because I tend to retain fluid, and it does help a bit.
Post # 9
sharontobemarried: that is awedful, i really cannot believe people are saying those things to you. I could never imagine saying that to someone and if someone says that to me as I get farther along I will cry. I do like SparkleBee11‘s responses though. need to keep those in the back pocket
Post # 11
sharontobemarried: I would say, “you’ve gotten really rude. Fat will be fixed after I give birth but you’ll always be a cunt.”
Seriously, why people feel it’s their place to comment on your body EVER let alone when you’re pregnant is beyond me.
Sorry you’re surrounded by such idiots. Congratulations on your pregnancy and I am sure that you look fantastic!
Post # 12
Get some better women in your life. UGH! I am disgusted by their rudeness, which is really insensitive.
Post # 13
I suspect many of these people know about your eating disorder; shame on them for making comments like this. It’s especially appalling that people training to go into the medical field have said, “Your arms are fatter than your stomach.” We now know that the women who ONLY show in their bellies are usually not gaining enough weight (notice the “usually” there; there are always exceptions).
But the answer to this is obvious: it’s time to start being an unapologetic bitch to show them how off-limits their comments are. If someone comes in with a, “You’ve gotten so fat,” don’t make excuses for yourself. They don’t need to know if it’s swelling, they don’t deserve to know about your fitness regimen. This is the time that you say something like, “What would make you think that saying something so awful is appropriate?” “And your words have grown so ugly,” “My weight is off-limits, thanks, ” or giving a lingering stare before you abruptly change the subject. That last one can be really effective: the message is very, very clear.
I get the impression that you were growing insecure about the weight even before the commentary started rolling in, so it’s time to check what you’re saying too. Right or not, if people hear you tearing into yourself about your weight, they often begin to think it’s acceptable for them to do the same.
Post # 14
My immediate reaction was “well, fuck you too”. But that might be a bit harsh. My second reaction was “are you fucking kinding me?”. Again, not so nice. I’d probably just be speechless. People never cease to amaze me. Maybe reply with “I can fix being fat, you can’t fix being a bitch”?
Post # 15
I swelled like crazy with my son. Starting at 20 weeks. It happens. The thing that matters is staying as healthy as you can and having a healthy baby. If you are having bad swelling, get some compression hose and wear them all the time. They look awful but they help with swelling.