Post # 1
In the short 3 months I’ve been engaged 4 couples-yes count them 4! have broken up. Its really starting to freak me out. I feel like all my friends are getting out of their first real relationships and I’m marrying mine. Its sooo scary to think about it all and I just feel so different from all my newly single girlfriends. What scares me the most is I never wanted to get married young (I’m only 24) and a small part of me misses the single life and all the excitement that comes with it so I guess you could say I’m kind of jealous of their newly found freedom and adventures.
I can’t believe this, I feel like my proposal has somehow cursed everyone’s relationship around me! What do I do? How do I stop thinking these negative thoughts and go back to happy land when I first got engaged and that was all anyone could talk about?!
Post # 3
I don’t think that it was your fault! Maybe some of the people started realizing that their relationships weren’t going in the direction that they wanted because you got engaged but it is not your fault. Most people don’t stay with their first serious BF/GF. But it’s not because of you! Unfortunately, your friends probably will be sad because of their breakups and probably talking about that for a while.
Post # 4
Although I don’t know you or the 4 couples you’ve mentioned, I can say that your engagement/upcoming wedding DID NOT curse their relationships. I don’t think it had an effect on them, but if it did…the only effect I could see is that your friends saw what you had, and realized that their relationships would ultimately not lead to the same kind of commitment, and for that reason they ended what they saw as “not going anywhere” or “not having a future”. And even if this is the case, this is not something you should feel guilty about at all! Perhaps your friends will one day thank you, for giving them an example of what they too hope to one day find, with the right person. And if your current place in life made them realized how unhappy they were with theirs…well, that’s not something you can change.
Don’t worry! You have too many other things to worry about right now, without having to take on the burdens of others on your shoulders too. Try to help your friends through this hard time for them (as best you can, all they might need is someone to listen to them). But stay happy about where you are, and remember that YOU are getting married for a reason, and certainly deserve to be happy at this time 🙂
Post # 5
Thanks for the encouragement ladies. I think another issue I’m struggling with is two of these couples were mutual friends we hung out with regulary as couples and did couplish things. Now I’m losing all my couple friends and can’t really relate to the newly single girls in the group. Its so hard to be happy in engagement land when no one is there yet and your left all alone 🙁
Post # 6
Sorry you feel that way.
As others have pointed out, it is not your fault, and if your relationship made them realize that theirs wasn’t good enough for them, then it’s a good thing for them.
As for not being happy in engagement land when no one is there yet… Your engagement, wedding, and marriage is something you’ll have to be happy about with your FI. It’s a couple’s thing and no one will ever be as excited as you. Focus on you and your FI, be happy with each other and talk about your excitement with him. That’s what it’s about.
You’re not at the same place as your friends, but you can still have fun with them… There always comes a point where priorities change and we’re not into the same things as our friends, be it career, babies, weddings, single life, or whatever. But friendship is more than living things together at the same time, it’s being there for each other through all this.
Enjoy your time, you deserve it!
Post # 7
Definatley not your fault. For us it seemed like around 22-24 people either got married or broke up with people from college. My now husband and I were in the break up camp with college sweethearts. Honestly most people I knew broke up but the ones who got married, the majority are still very happy. For us there was another wave around 27-28 (which is what we are now) when we got married it seemed like soooooooooo many people got married but also for some reason another wave of breakups. I donno why but this whole wedding/break up thing really seems to go in corresponding waves.
Post # 8
Didn’t you post almost this exact thing about a month ago?
I’m really not trying to be snarky, I promise…. I’m just confused.