- 3 years ago
Hey ladies, I have seen a dozen other posts like this one…but I need to vent so here goes.
I have been with my darling boyfriend for four years now. I met him in middle school, and he was my first kiss. We lost touch in high school and started seeing each other again during college. I transferred schools to be with him. I’m about to graduate college and he is moving away for graduate school and has been finished with undergrad for a while now.<br />I know I should be patient and wait, but my feelings can’t help but be hurt when I see friends in the street and their response is “wow you guys have been together forever!!!! you’re never going to tie the knot!!” My boyfriend is amazing, we live together, have pets together, and have a very close friendship. In all honesty, I am very shy and he is my closest, truest friend, romantic or not. I am deeply hurt by our lack of progress. We have a lot of work to do in building our lives, and getting everything started off on the right foot takes money and time and I realize that. But I love him very much, and I am so close to him in every way…I devote so much of my time and love to him, and it hurts me that he doesn’t feel the same way. We talk often about marriage and kids. I feel like he wants us to wait so we can have a blowout wedding but (being so shy) I do not really want that. I also come from a much smaller family with much less money than he does, and a wedding is not something my mom could ever afford. My parents are divorced and his are together. It has been so long since we first met, fell in love and got together that now I fear all the excitement and surprise will be gone from his proposal if it ever does happen….and this hurts. I honestly wonder if his reason is because he knows I can’t pay for a wedding. 🙁 so sad, so many mixed feelings…please don’t judge me for sounding so bratty but my heart hurts and I am so so confused. <br /><br />Let me add that I am moving to be with him while he finishes grad school after I graduate college…to a new city that is further from my home than I’ve ever been before. He feels like home to me…but it is still scary to move 3 states away and not have any kind of security.