40 Days of Dating – Conclusion

posted 3 years ago in The Lounge
Post # 4
Member
2355 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

I read the first couple of paragraphs on the site describing the two people. He is not long term material. He is exactly the type of guy to NOT date if you are a girl looking for something meaningful. As for the chick, she definitely goes after the wrong guys. People make dating so much more difficult than it needs to be. Pick from a pool of people that share your values and your perspective on dating and marriage. I haven’t read anything else on that site, but I’m guessing it’s going to have a bunch of meaningless relationship psychobabble, and that it ends because he hasn’t outgrown adolescence. Does she really say she is in love with him? I know it’s possible to really care for someone and know it’s meant for something more in 40 days, but I do not believe in people truly loving someone in that amount of time.

Post # 6
Member
2355 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@canuckandakiwi:  Oh, really? He said that? He’s a liar, lol. I might check it out later and read more.

Post # 7
Member
88 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

@canuckandakiwi:  I just read the whole thing the other day and I was pretty upset with how it ended. How in the world did they magically end their relationship on the 40th day at 11:59PM pretty much. A little to convienient and makes me wonder about the validity of the whole thing. But, I guess I just wanted them to work out and have a perfect relationship where he lost his commitment-phobe ways and she stopped having her headaches and moody days.

Post # 8
Member
1253 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

Well, it was depressing, but pretty predictable. He’s a giant manbaby who while pretending he might know that fact, will never truly believe, and go through life wondering why he doesn’t feel fulfilled.  

Or, conversely, now that he “wants a relationship,” why he can’t find the right woman (when in reality his reasons for ruling them out might be “She’s too quiet” “she’s kind of pear shaped” “her elbows were really dry.” People like him purposely sabotage their relationships because they will only accept some idea of perfection that isn’t actually good for them and they know they won’t find, so that his lack of committment from now on won’t be “his fault.” 

Bah humbug.

Post # 11
Member
117 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

he’s a douche and she is passive and insecure. end of story.

i figured that is how this whole thing would end at like, day 3. very predictable and annoying. 

Post # 12
Member
2169 posts
Buzzing bee

@canuckandakiwi:  I thought it was a publicity stunt up until I watched that video of them at the end. Then I just felt bad for her because he’s a man-child who refuses to grow up. And not in love with her. If he was actually in love with her, he would not have just walked away from it.

Also, I thought he was a jerk. She seemed nice but quirky to me.

Have you seen the Jezebel article? http://jezebel.com/40-days-of-dating-and-one-big-asshole-1264875873 

 

@Meggzilla:  I hope you don’t take this the wrong way, but I just don’t understand why anyone would want these two to work out other than that that person would like for the story to have a neat and happy ending. Tim seemed like a jerk to me from the way he behaved. If someone posted that story on here, I think the Bees would be talking about how Jessica could find a better man.

As for the 11:59 pm ending, I guessed that they scheduled their flight back assuming that they would be home around midnight on the final night. And the cynical part of me wouldn’t put it past them to have sat in the cab saying a few final words before they departed. 😉

Post # 13
Member
1253 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

@canuckandakiwi:  I honestly would not wish a long-term relationship with him on anyone. I remembered this doozy and tracked it back down: 

“While we’ve been having a great two days here, Tim finds moments to slip in negative remarks. He said I’d be more attractive to him if I would gain more weight and have more curves. He said that he was bothered by how accommodating I am to him and his desires. He said I should pay more attention to my grooming. He said that it’s annoying that I don’t eat enough. He said it’s disgusting that my nail polish is chipping off.”

Ass.

I read “She is too accomodating to me and my desires” as “I am a selfish jackass who never is accomodating to anyone’s desires than my own, and her so blatantly being the opposite of that makes me feel guilty for my wretched lifestyle.” And the critical comments about the appearance of a pretty girl? Like I said, he was trying to self-sabotage in any way he could, like so many men do.

What depressed me was not that they didn’t end up together (while I thought he was a total dick, I found her annoying as well), but just how typical their situation is – only it doesn’t usually just last 40 days. It’s the same things happening, only they get dragged out over months and months or even years. What depressed me was how normal Tim’s behaviour is in this world.

There was that time when you could tell their therapy appointment had made him become sort of self aware of what a manwhore he is, and he kept trying to defending himself. He basically like “I don’t think I’m bad just because I want to have some fun.” Guess what bro, everyone wants to have fun. When your fun means screwing over a bunch of girls you know you’ll never commit to, yeah, it does make you bad. But soooo many guys are just like him, and think just like him.

Again I say, “bah humbug!”

Post # 15
Member
221 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

I agree with all the PPs about him being a giant man baby so I won’t elaborate on that.

 

I have a mini rant about Jessie and her health drama:

Can I just say how ANNOYED i felt with all of her headaches and health problems? At first I felt so bad for her, poor thing getting these mystery migranres ontop of insomnia. What terrible timing!  But then every day she talks about either loving MSG in her chineese food, drinking, eating pasteries, drinking, going out extra late dancing and drinking,  take out take out take out, drinking. Then there was a day where he even mentioned he felt concerned about the amouny of different perscription pills she was taking. I found myself (after two straight hours of reading their story) yelling “STOP EATING CRAP AND STOP DRINKING DONT MASK YOUR HEALTH PROBLEMS WITH PILLS! Get to the source of the problem!” 

 

Literally in the next entry she has this ephiphany that she needs to stop drinking so much and eat more basic foods……… And then has champagne that night, and I’m pretty sure she talks about drinking in all the rest of her entries. Even on the flight home from Disney!!!! 

 

 

 

Everyone has different health issues and I’m not saying she’s annoying for having them, I just felt like it was “Cool” for her to constantly complain or blame her bad moods on her health but then do nothing to fix it. (I personally have to go through phases where I cut out sugar and alcohol for 2 weeks at a time because I am prone to candida overgrowth in my stomach and it shows as a patchy rash across my torso if I ignore it and continue to eat shit and drink everyday.) 

Post # 16
Member
221 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

@arabbel:  

 

I agree that he does act like an ass for some/majority of their time together. But I felt like SHE took his words completely out of context. He said she was complaining about her body and his response to her was along the lines of “I think you look great in fact if you gained more weight youd probably look better!” (I dont have the exact quote but thats what my brain remembera reading from HIS side) 

 

if that is the case, then she really blew what he said way out of proporion. Also, I found that his way of flirting was super immature. Example: the text asking her if she went home with any hot guys from the art party. 

 

He’s just not a mean guy, like i doubt he flat out said “Your nail polish looks haggard and disgusting”. It was probably a FAILED flirting attempt like “Nice nails *sarcastic laugh*”

He spends so much time picking out her quirks (like walking pigeon towed) and talking about how CUTE her quirks are. I just dont see him flat out putting her down loke jessie described it 

 

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