43 years old and thinking about having a baby…

posted 3 years ago in Pregnancy
Post # 3
Member
994 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

@VanIsleGal:  Not to be a debbie downer, but it’s not just the increased risk of miscarriage…are you prepared to care for a child with a mental handicap? Yes it can absolutely happen to anyone but, your risk is much much higher because of age. Now that doesn’t mean it will happen and if you want a child by all means try, but please do your research and know what you are getting into.

 

And since you asked, yes my mother concieved a child at 39. The doctors recommend abortion at her first appt. not even kidding. She of course had no interest in that, but they proceeded to scare her at every appt. they never found anything wrong with the baby and she carried him for almost 6 months, and then one day no heartbeat, she delivered him, they couldn’t find anything wrong or give us any answersas to what had happened, we buried him and tried to continue on as a family, but it was a devestating loss for everyone involved especially my mother, I wouldn’t want to see anyone go through that.

 

Again this is in no way the rule, I just have seen the horrible other side and have really strong opinions on the matter, but the bottom line is if you have truly done your homework and know the risks involved and are willing to move forward then go for it and absolute best of luck to you. =] 

 

Post # 4
Member
164 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@VanIsleGal:  My parents had me later in life. I love them and I love the life I had but growing up with older parents was very tough. My parents couldn’t play sports with me, they rarely chased me around the house. It’s not that they didn’t want to, it’s that they physically couldn’t. My parents are the only ones in their circle who aren’t grandparents or worse, great grandparents (I’m 26).

 

Sorry to be such a party pooper.  

Post # 5
Member
1953 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

My mom was 40 when she had my sister. I guess it depends on the person, because my parents haven’t had any issues raising her. They’re both very active and play soccer/basketball with her (she’s 12) and she doesn’t even realize they were older than average.

I know the risks increase, so I would definitely talk with your doctor about it and do tons of research! Good luck with whatever you decide!

Post # 6
Member
3718 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I’ll give you the flip side from PP. I’m 38 and currently TTC for the first time 

my FMIL was 40 when she had my FI. No issues at all a friend from high school is 31 and due in 3 weeks. No issues at all. 

While yes there are risks, and yes the risks are much higher than if we were younger, no one can predict what will happen. If you know the risks, have a plan for handling those risks should theyncomemto pass, and still want to try for a kid, do it 🙂 

bottom line: be informed. Be realistic. Do what will make you happy

Post # 7
Member
2555 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

The risks during pregnancy also have to do with your health as well. Please see a doctor to see if YOU are healthy enough to get pregnant. A miscarriage is an obvious concern, but please take your life into consideraiton, as well. If you want to have a baby, please talk to your doctor, first.

Post # 8
Member
4827 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2013 - Upstate NY

@VanIsleGal:  Unfortunately if your doctors say you’re infertile and you’re 43, it might be very hard to get pregnant 🙁 I know of a 42 year old who had a perfectly healthy baby but many many women who couldn’t get pregnant after 40. But hey you never know!

Post # 9
Member
1002 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

The responsible thing to do is see a doctor to make sure you are healthy enough to carry a child in the first place.

Post # 11
Member
994 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

@VanIsleGal:  I didn’t say anything about you having a mental handicap please read my reply again. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“Not to be a debbie downer, but it’s not just the increased risk of miscarriage...are you prepared to care for a child with a mental handicap? Yes it can absolutely happen to anyone but, your risk is much much higher because of age. Now that doesn’t mean it will happen and if you want a child by all means try

 

 

 

I was and am supportive and understanding of your desire to have a child. Please read carefully before attacking people, as certainly was not attacking you.

 

 http://www.weddingbee.com/comment-policy/#axzz2WECfK2nH

 

Post # 12
Member
1953 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

@VanIsleGal:  I think what she meant is the risk for your child to have a mental handicap increases with age. She was asking if you were prepared to raise a mentally handicapped child, not implying you have a mental handicap.

Post # 15
Member
550 posts
Busy bee

The responsible thing to do for you AND your potential future child would be to get a thorough medical workup before attempting to conceive or getting pregnant. If a doctor tells you, “You will have a 50% chance of miscarrying” or “Your kid has a 400% greater chance of Down Syndrome”* do you still really, really want to go for it?

Only you can answer these questions. But I go by the idea that it’s always better to be informed than not.

 

*These numbers are obviously totally made up, but there are very real risks to a later-in-life pregnancy.

Leave a comment


Sent weekly. You may unsubscribe at any time.

Find Amazing Vendors