(Closed) 46…and a bride? with kids?

posted 7 years ago in 40 Something
Post # 3
Member
1765 posts
Buzzing bee

@Lilacgal:

Congratulations!!!  We went to a wedding this summer with a mom bride and her tween, and the groom.  They did do the sand ceremony, and then the groom had a special item and something personal he said to the tween (not heard by the guests) and it was very sweet!  Although I did hear that the groom had trouble getting his sand in the container,  so you may want to choose a container that has a wider rather than narrow opening for 3 people to use.  🙂  Sounds very touching and inclusive!!  🙂

Post # 4
Member
10367 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

Congrats! My husband and I walked together down the aisle. I loved the smbolism of us presenting ourselves, together, in matrimony. Very “we know who we are and we present ourselves to each other”. Love it.

Post # 5
Member
2006 posts
Buzzing bee

I know Bellenga is a 40 year old bride with a child! She recently got married and has a few recaps floating around the boards.

Post # 6
Member
3316 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

@Lilacgal:  I think it is very important to talk to the children about what, if any, role they want to have in the wedding.  To some, involvement can feel like a betrayal of their father, and they would rather just be guests.  Others would feel honored to participate.

I would, though, avoid including a child in a sand ceremony.  First, marriage is a commitment between the two people getting married.  It is important to avoid any implication that your son is making vows, because your marriage is not something he has a choice about.  Second, the emphasis on his becoming part of a new family can feel like he’s being asked to give up his father, which is just not something you want to do.

My adult children were our maid of honor and dude of honor.  Each of them read one of the blessings in our ceremony, and gave a toast at our reception.  However, that was the extent of their inclusion in the ceremony.  My wife was well aware that my kids have two perfectly good parents (my ex and his sister actually attended the ceremony), and are adult enough not to need another parent.

Oh, and for the record, my wedding was on my 56th birthday.  And my wife and I walked down the aisle together.

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