5 days before the wedding.. And my dad has upset me!

posted 3 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
7030 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@Dolcebabe:  I don’t think the FOB is all that busy, and it’s not up to you to determine whether he’ll be too busy. Leave that argument out.

But, 5 days before the wedding is way too close – all numbers are meant to be finalised and it’ll cost extra money. If he’s paying, I’d sigh and let him do it – just add an extra seat to his table, it’s his money. But if you’re paying – no way Jose, RSVP date has passed.

Post # 4
6 posts
  • Wedding: August 2012

@Dolcebabe:  You’re going to hear a lot of people tell you that you are being selfish for not wanting him to have a date & that you’ll barely even notice the guest.

However, I’m not one of them.

I think it’s really odd to invite a practical stranger to your daughters wedding as your last minute date. Especially when the bride has never seen him with women besides her late mother.

Yes, sorry hun. I feel ya. This is really rude & I would be pissed too. I would just tell him no.

Post # 5
7286 posts
Busy Beekeeper

@Dolcebabe:  I kind of think you are being selfish. Did you stop to think that this might be a hard and emotional event for your father given your mother passed away? Just because they were divorced does not mean that he stopped caring about her. He might need a friend there to help get him through the day.

Post # 6
470 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

I think that’s really unfair of him. Talk to him about how you feel, explain that you’d love to meet her or go on a double date – after the wedding. 

Post # 7
124 posts
Blushing bee

@Dolcebabe:  your dad should be able to have a plus 1 even if it is awkward for you. Idk why he brought it up last minute, definitely annoying 

Post # 8
1086 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

You will have some no-shows, almost guaranteed, So don’t worry about the count.

Post # 9
3406 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

@Dolcebabe:  unless he really needs this person to be there I’d say no. Let him take her out somewhere else other than your wedding. if he really needs her there, then just let him bring her.

I don’t think you’re being selfish though, your dad has had plenty of time to bring this up.

Post # 10
4076 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

Do you have any tables with an extra seat open? just sit her there. You already finished your seating chart, I wouldn’t change anything but ti fit her in wherever.

Post # 11
7207 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

An extra setting at the table wont throw it off by that much. You will probably have no shows anyway. I totally see why it bothers you but I just think in tbe greater pictue of things to worry about its a blip. As long as hes clear she has no role I dont see what the problem is.

Post # 12
3769 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: December 1999

Slip an extra chair next to him at his table and be done with it. While it is last minute, he is your dad and would like to bring a guest. If it is something that simple to help him fully enjoy the day, I am would let him. He might be having a harder time being alone on your day than he is letting on.

Post # 14
3442 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@Dolcebabe:  Have you expressed to him that this bothers you or are you silently suffering & angry with him?

Post # 15
2173 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

I think you should let her come, but as an act of defiance, do not set her at the family table.

“Well, if you would have told me earlier, I may have been able to arrange it. But I can’t change it now, or Grandma will be left to sit all by herself.  And I don’t think that’s very fair to Grandma.”

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