5 days before the wedding and my sister is stressing me out..help!

posted 2 years ago in Family
  • poll: Should I let my sister bring her new boyfriend?
    Yes, she's a bridesmaid and it's not that big of a deal. : (8 votes)
    67 %
    No, it's not reasonable for her to expect that. : (2 votes)
    17 %
    Other. Comment below! : (2 votes)
    17 %
  • Post # 2
    Member
    2364 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: November 2014

    bostonkate:  I wouldn’t lose my mind over it butttttt no, I don’t think she should be allowed to bring this guy that you don’t know.  Pick and choose your battles obviously, but I’d try to explain to her why this isn’t really cool.  He’ll essentially be a freeloader of your wedding festivities.     

    Post # 3
    Member
    4147 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    I’m not sure if I would be upset about him meeting your family for the first time as well as your FI.  It’s still going to be way more exciting for your family to meet the man you’re marrying, instead of a new boyfriend of your sisters (no offence to her or the bf!) 

    But it would annoy me that he’d be around for all the pre-wedding stuff and would probably be awkward for both him and your family to feel like they need to keep him entertained as he’s an “outsider.” 

    Maybe you could just tell your sister that the final numbers were put in already, and there isn’t room to add one more person unfortunately.  Unless she knows that you kept a plus one for her, based on her other friend coming?

    Post # 4
    Member
    744 posts
    Busy bee

    I think you are justified in saying no, but I also don’t think it’s worth a ton of stress on your part if she insists and you want to give in because it’s easier.  As for the part about you being worried about introducing both your FI and her BF at the same time, I really think people will be much more focused on your FI, since it’s your wedding (and the BF is so new).  So I wouldn’t worry too much about that. 

    You can also remind your sister that as someone in the immediate family and the wedding party, there is a lot of running around to do, and there isn’t much time to devote to a significant other.  So if her BF doesn’t know anyone, it’s actually not going to be much fun for him.  She may want to spare him this one.

    Post # 5
    Member
    262 posts
    Helper bee

    i’d say RSVP date has passed and we can’t allow for any extras at this point.  plus we will be busy as the bridal party and he would be bored. 

    Post # 6
    Member
    42469 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    You already told her  she could bring a male friend, then other high school friends, so obvioulsy you were prepared to give her a plus one.

    Unless it’s absolutely impossible for your venue to add one more person, I would tell her that it is fine for her to bring her new boyfriend. If you take the high road, this will never be an issue for the two of you in the future.

    If you say no, just because your FI will have to share the limelight meeting your relatives, you will seem petty. Your family is more than capable of meeting both of them and differentiating which is becoming a family member  and which isn’t.

     

    Post # 7
    Member
    1769 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: July 2014

    when he meets your parents and under what circumstances and for how long are things for your sister to consider. no reason for you to worry about that or base your decision on that at all.  

    it doesn’t really matter how many days out it is imo- she’s your sister and a bridesmaid and this is her bf (regardless of whether it’s new)- if you can give him a seat and a meal, invite him.  If I were you, I would’ve already let her know that she can invite him when they first started dating and I would’ve told her that she could just tell me closer to the wedding since it was new and she might be unsure at that point.

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