Post # 1
Hi all. 🙂
How many of you have read The 5 Love Languages? I’m about 4/5 of the way through it now, and I think its pretty enlightening. I don’t think the concept is earth-shattering, per se, but the fact that it hasn’t been pointed out until now is. It has really positively affected the way I view how I treat my FI and how I can make him feel more fulfilled as my partner.
I have already figured out what my love language is, and what my FI’s is. We discussed it last night and he knew mine as soon as I had finished describing all the languages to him. It meant so much to me that he knows me so well and he knows what makes me feel loved.
Anyway. If you’ve read the book, what’s your love language? Are yours and your partner’s the same? How do each of you manifest your love languages to each other?
I’ll comment after other people have gotten the ball rolling. 🙂
Post # 3
@TwoStatesBride: We took the quiz pretty early in our relationship. He is “Quality Time” followed closely by “Physical Touch”. I’m “Physical Touch” followed closely by “Gifts”. I got off easy 😛
Post # 4
I am Quality Time and he is Acts of Service. I started making his lunches for him in the mornings, he noticed right away. The book is really wonderful when you put it in practice.
Post # 5
- Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL
@TwoStatesBride: I ranked 50/50 for quality time and physical touch. Now that I know what works for me, I ask for it from my partner.
Post # 6
I think I’ll be excited to finish the book and take the quiz. We were just basing our love languages off of the descriptions in the book and what things that we’ve done for each other in the past made us feel most loved, so I’ll be interested to see if the quiz gives us the same results.
Post # 7
FWIW, I haven’t taken the quiz yet, but I am 90% sure I’m Acts of Service and secondarily Words of Affirmation (appreciation, specifically). I’m about 85% sure my FI is Words of Affirmation and secondarily Physical Touch. I’ll have to update once I’ve taken the quiz.
I work a lot more than he does right now (he just took the Bar exam last week), so if I come home after a 12 hour day and the house is a wreck, he hasn’t done any wedding planning I’ve asked him to help with, the dog needs a bath and dinner isn’t ready, I get upset. Instantly, though, I feel more cared for and loved if he has cleaned the house and cooked, or done some wedding planning or given the dog a bath. It’s pretty clear to me that I’m Acts of Service.
I am very high strung and intense. I’ve found that if I speak to him kindly, praise him for helping me (doing acts of service for me), tell him I appreciate him, etc. he has a much more positive attitude all. the. time. It’s something I need to work past, for sure, because I tend to be very OMG WHAT DID YOU DO ALL DAY oainiuvq4i5uh’oi8 ‘
Post # 8
- Wedding: May 2014 - Madison, WI
I was mainly quality time and pretty equal across all other categories.
Post # 9
I really like this book, and think it’s a great read for all couples.
My primary love languages are quality time and physical touch. He is AMAZING at quality time, and physical touch is something he is working on on (not to be confused with intimacy….he’s just fine with that kind of touching!). He’s not a cuddler like I am, and snuggling up together isn’t as natural for him as it is for me, but he knows and understands that it is important to me to feel loved, so he is working on it which means a lot to me.
Post # 10
When we took the quiz, my primary languages were Quality Time and Acts of Service. I think his was Acts of Service (?). We’re reading the book now. I’ve noticed, though, that my love language changes sometimes depending on what I’m getting the least of. When I took the quiz, DH and I hardly got to see each other each day, so I was craving quality time. Now, I’m tired and stressed from a new job, so Words of Affirmation mean a lot to me.
Also – I think Acts of Service make me feel loved because I had already figured out that my DH showed love that way, so I connected it with feeling loved during the quiz. If he was the type to demonstrate love a different way, I wonder if my results would’ve been skewed differently.
Anyway else feel like their languages shift? Or that they need a blend of 3 or more to feel loved?
Post # 11
Mine is definitely gifts. My dad grew up pretty poor; he’s self made but very-nouveau riche I’ll say and growing up he literally showered us with gifts because he doesn’t know any other way to show his love and also he was always trying to prove something to my mom’s family I think. So I definitely think that’s affected the ways I receive and express my own love. I love to give gifts, I put a ton of thought into them and really try to match the receiver. I’m super easy to gift for anyone who knows me, so when someone doesn’t put that little bit of thought into it, it hurts.
My bf is hands down acts of service and he’s not a gifter at all…go figure. We’re making it work lol
Post # 12
i’m currently reading it now. my love language is quality time. i don’t remember what FI had. so far the book is good and helpful.
Post # 13
Mine are Quality time & Words of Affirmation.
DH’s are Acts of Service & Physical touch.
I think it would be more ideal to have more overlapping love languages. I’m not a huge fan of his love languages.
Post # 14
We haven’t read the book, but we read another book by the same author and it has a chapter on the love languages. My primary love language is quality time, secondary is physical touch. FI’s are reversed: primary is physical touch, secondary is quality time. It seems to work well for us that they overlap.
Post # 15
Mine is Physical Touch (10), followed by Quality Time (8) and Words of Affirmation (7). I think his are Quality Time and Words of Affirmation.
Post # 16
His biggest one is physical touch and my main one is quality time – but our top 3 are the same. He’s a big words of affirmation guy though. And I thought gifts was higher for me, but it’s actually my second lowest. 😛 So I’ve been trying to make sure I always have a hand on him, LOL.