5 months pregnant and getting cold feet about the baby

posted 3 years ago in Pregnancy
Post # 3
Member
883 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2013

@hspw714:  I’m not 5 months pregnant, I’m only 9.5 weeks, but I totally get this. I got major transitional anxiety during my engagement so I wouldn’t be surprised if this popped up for me during this transition too. It’s a time of massive change in your life, and you’ve had heaps going on already, so this sounds completely normal and part of the process! Would it help you to talk about it with your doctor/OB/mum and see if they felt something similar and could relate?

Post # 4
Member
7197 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@hspw714:  It sounds to me like a lot of your relatives said some silly things without thinking, which are playing on your mind.

Not every baby cries every half hour. I’m guessing that baby was a little unwell, or unsettled because he/she was in a strange place. Yes babies are very demanding, but it’s not like you can get nothing done. And motherhood, for all the work, is wonderful.

I agree with the poster above about talking to a mother close to you for reassuring words.

Post # 5
Member
547 posts
Busy bee

@paula1248:  It seems all they said was how different next Christmas will be. That’s not all that silly. That’s true. Having a baby changes virtually everything.

You do have genuine reasons to be afraid.  You don’t know what baby you’ll get, or how well you’ll be able to cope, especially since you don’t have family nearby. You just need to hope for the best and expect to be challenged, but know you can do it. Hopefully you get a very easy baby. It seems all my friends’ babies were either super easy or cried all the time. You won’t know until you know and you’ll have to deal accordingly. Maybe a relative could come stay with you for the first little while. I stayed with SO’s sistee for about a month when she had her baby. The baby was very easy, but she was having a really rough go of it. Having another adult with her really helped. 

Post # 6
Member
11668 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@hspw714:  you’re not alone! I’m 30 weeks and have random bouts of panic. It will b okay. Everyone figures out a way to make it work. I go watch videos of cute babies when I panic to make me realize that it will all be worth it.  The fact that you’re worried about these things makes you more ready then you think. I always say that someone who isn’t worried at all isn’t really ready to have a baby.

Hang in there, you have lots of support here and will meet other moms to help you through too!

Post # 7
Member
4440 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

We’re TTC and everytime I get close to my POAS date (when I can test) I start getting really anxious, nervous, knowing that this will change our lives forever (in a GOOD way).  I think of things like our dynamics are a couple will change, our routine, our financial situation, living, etc. I also have anxiety about pregnancy in general and allowing myself to be vulnerable to body changes, complications, medical intervention (I’m health anxious/hypochondriac) so for me to finally take the leap and say whatever happens happens, is a big deal!

I think it’s totally natural.

But these are all good things….life is what YOU make it. Literally.

You can do this!

Post # 8
Member
3119 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I think @MrsWBS: makes a fantastic point about how your being nervous is a sign that you will be a great, prepared (as much as one can be) mom…and a realistic one. Hang in there, I think that what you’re experiencing is normal. But I second seeing if you can find an adult support network in the area by joining an expectant mother’s group. Or at least line up and interview some trusted sitters from a site like care.com for when you need a break (even if you don’t leave the house, but the sitter is there in the house with with you for an hour or so watching your baby while you have some “me” time, and get a shower, etc.).

Post # 9
Member
2614 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

@hspw714:  When I got my BFP I went into a blind panic… After trying for 8 months!! Seriously, I was shocked by my response!! Having a baby is a big deal and it is tough.Buyt it is also amazing and rewarding. Ultimately I lost my LO when I was 10 weeks along and that made me realise how much I really want this… I see my sister with my nephew and the positive, exciting, amazing moments way outweigh the tough moments. Focus on that part. Xxx

 

Post # 10
Member
2614 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

@kate02121:  +1 Some great advice. My friend made some great friends from a group she joined when pregnant. She got pregnant before any of her friends so none of us got it. They are still a great support 6 years later.

Post # 11
Hostess
10870 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

@phoebephoebo: Sorry for your loss, I remember reading your threads, but didn’t know that 🙁 {{hugs}} Good point about being panicked as soon as you get the BFP even though you had been trying for a while, this will be what I’d be like.

 

Post # 12
Member
7654 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

@hspw714:  I feel the same way sometimes. Honestly, Christmas was a day for everyone to run their mouth, especially on my husband’s side. I had family planning out next Christmas for us already.

I had a mini moment of panic because I was like first of all, everyone wants us to drive 3 1/2 hours with an almost 9 month old, which scared the shit out of me. Do I, like, pull over when he cries? How mkany times will that be? How much longer will it take to get there? Second, everyone is saying how much more fun Christmas is going to be, which kind of made me feel bad like DH and I weren’t good enough. And third, getting baby’s first Christmas outfit and feeling the pressure to put him in the thing.

I am scared too, and I go through moments. I feel it is “normal?” I guess. I always knew I wanted to be a mom, but now that it is almost spring I find myself having more anxiety. It also makes me anxious because everyone wants to talk about how much we are excited, and I just say we are very excited when I really want to say, “I have no idea what I’m doing. I have to wash all these clothes, register, do the nursery, figure out breastfeeding, clean the house, repair things, and I don’t have time.” I am a mess sometimes.

Post # 13
Member
2614 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

@CatyLady:  Thanks, starting to feel better and almost ready to TTC again. Well, as soon as AF arrives! Hopefully you will get your BFP soon. Maybe we’ll be on the same month thread soon 🙂

Post # 14
Member
4413 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Whenever I had the pre-baby panic, I just thought about all the people who are way, WAY less equipped than I am but have managed to successfully raise children. You know — the morons, the 16-year-olds, the unemployed drug addicts … if THEY were able to raise a kid without going crazy or killing it, then surely I will be able to do it 🙂

And yes — babies can be a challenge sometimes, but after those first two weeks of sheer panic and stress and ohmygodwhathaveidone, you start settling into a routine and everything falls into place just fine!

Post # 15
Member
102 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

@iarebridezilla:  that’s exactly how I try to pump myself up too! I can’t be the least qualified person to rsise a child, so I’m good!

Post # 16
Member
147 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: December 2016

I feel like having the 9 month wait until baby arrives is a blessing and a curse. It gives you 9 months to mentally prepare.

BUT, parenting is one of those things that you need to jump into with both feet. In some ways it’d be easier if baby just came! Without the massive amount of build up and anxiety.

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