Post # 1
There was an article in my inbox this morning about the 5 stages of grief your dog goes through when you leave the house. Plus the bonus #6 – elation – when you get home. (Here’s the link to the article: http://www.dogster.com/bolz/dog-photos-5-stages-of-grief-dogs)
As soon as I read that I thought, that’s the same stages I go through waiting for an engagement ring!
1. Denial: In my case – I won’t have to wait, I won’t be like my friends, he’s just going to propose, he’s going to do it any second! We already looked at rings and know we’re going to get married. It will happen any day now!
2. Anger: What is he waiting for? Come on already! We’re practically married as it is, why can’t he just propose already! Why can’t he go on and do something that would make me so happy! Is he trying to make me mad by waiting longer?
3. Bargaining: Baby, if you propose I’m going to be so happy. I may even let you get that motorcycle I know you want…
4. Depression: self-explanatory. I have literally gotten in tears before.
5. Acceptance: Try to forget about it. It will make the surprise better… right? right? I dunno…
I feel like I go through these stages in waves.
The final stage was elation when the dog’s owner comes home. Obviously we only reach that stage once we’re engaged 🙂
Post # 3
- Wedding: July 2017 - Bristol zoo
Awesome observation! Lol.
Well I’d definitely say I was stage one now, not looking forward to the rest.
Post # 4
@DreamingofDiamonds: LOL I was sure I was going to open this up and it be a horrible story of loss and i was going to be so sad. VERY glad it wasnt!!
This is cute, forwarding that link along!
Post # 5
I guess I just don’t get it. I mean, maybe if you don’t have a timeline or aren’t sure if a proposal is coming I can see being agitated and upset… but if you’re looking at rings, it’s happening so why not enjoy your relationship and let it happen without going through stages of “grief”. I mean, you’re equating misery with something that’s supposed to be an improvement to your relationship… that doesn’t really sound like happiness to me.
Post # 6
However, the article itself is really cute. Yay doggies.
Post # 7
Agreed, it’s not really stages of “grief” waiting for him to propose, more anticipation and excitement. The title was just in how it related to the article.
Definitely need to enjoy your relationship every day, and I certainly do. It’s the little voice that’s going crazy in my head that might have moments of “anger.” Which is maybe more just anticipation than anger.
Didn’t mean for the post to be taken seriously 🙂 Plus, I love doggies…
Post # 8
@DreamingofDiamonds: LOL this is hilarious and so accurate.
Post # 9
@DreamingofDiamonds: Those are excellent points, and all very true (for me, at least)!
jocember As far as why the waiting can be so agonizing (yes, even grievous), I can vouch for that one a little bit:
It is very likely I won’t be able to have kids, at any age. Children are very, very important to me. And while there’s a chance I won’t be able to conceive ever, the likelihood of getting pregnant diminishes drastically with age (and by age, I mean like, 25 and up). Getting engaged, to me, means getting married. Getting married, again to me, means having children. The proposal therefore, was VERY important, and integral to the reaching of my lifelong goals.
A lot of people don’t understand waiting, and I can say from experience, it doesn’t always make sense. But personally, waiting went far beyond a status change or a ring. It meant starting my life, finally getting the chance to fulfill my dreams.
Maybe OP’s waiting goals don’t match mine. They might not be as substantial. But everyone’s hopes and dreams are important, and it is imperative that we, as a community, encourage everybee, no matter what their status is.
Post # 10
I LOVE this! I feel like I go up and down with all those points on a daily basis lol!
@babybee92: I think you have it right. Everyone has different life expectations and goals in mind. Also, everyone deals with waiting differently and SO’s deal with it differently (some give the exact week it’s happening) other’s go ring shopping and then 2 weeks later, he proposes. SO and I looked at rings 1 year ago….and I’m still waiting. I think the difference between waiting 2 weeks and over 1 year after looking at rings will bring WAY DIFFERENT reactions from a bee- neither of them being “wrong reactions.”
Also, age plays a huge factor as well. I’m 25 and even after almost 6 years with SO, I’m sure a 37 year old waiting bee is anticipating a proposal more than I am!
To each their own
Post # 11
@memo: Definitely everyone deals with it differently. SO and I started looking at rings more than a year ago too. It’s different waiting for a couple months vs years.
Either way, I just thought that the relation to this dog article in my mind was funny and thought I’d share. Meant the whole thing to be more just silly than serious.
Post # 13
I made it to stage 5 somehow.
Post # 14
@babybee92: Yes, no, I understand – I guess the idea of equating grief with something like waiting for a proposal you know is coming just rubbed me the wrong way. I’m coming up on two anniversaries of losing loved ones and I think I’m just in a raw state right now. I usually try and step back before I post when things on the Bee bother me.
Post # 15
There’s already a thread called the waiting cycle. Its very similar to what you have posted.
Post # 16
LOL at the denial one! AS SOON as my boyfriend first made it clear he wanted to marry me ONE DAY I immediately was like “OMG I CANT BELIEVE WE’RE ABOUT TO GET ENGAGED” when now I am more in acceptance… it’ll happen ONE DAY, who knows when