"5 Things Parents Need to Stop Saying to Non-Parents"–Thoughts?

posted 3 years ago in TTC
Post # 3
Member
1721 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

The only one I disagree with is #4.  I think it is responsible for parents to ask about this.  Not everyone is going to go out of their way to make sure your little snowflake gets a special invitation, but that does not mean kids are persona no grata. Unless someone says, do you and DH want to go somewhere (aka mentioning each of us specifically), I would ask if the party is adult only or child friendly.  Most times I just get a text or an invite saying “party 6pm saturday, be there!” or something like that, so how am I to know?  The hookers and blow thing that the article says is just ridiculous!

 

(and for the record… I think SOME people do need to be told #1 lol)

Post # 4
Member
811 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

@Schatzie821:  I disagree with #4 also. Just because a child is “welcome” does not mean a party is kid-friendly and it is a parent’s responsibility to monitor this.

My step-daughter to be is the only child in the family at the moment as well as mine and my FI’s social circle. (He had his first child fairly young) so this comes up a lot.

It isn’t fun or appropriate for a child to attend a party where there are no other children there around the same age and no kid activities for them to do. If FI and I don’t have a babysitter of some sort available, we typically just won’t attend or only one of us will attend.

Post # 5
Member
10491 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: January 2011

I disagree with 1 and 4.

1 It depends to the extent.  I think most people are pretty reasonable, but some take the fur-baby thing a bit too far for my taste.

4  If you get a wedding invitation and the couple knows you have kids and they aren’t on there – yeah, they aren’t invited.  If you’re family and they don’t know you have kids, I say ask maybe going through other relatives so a no is less awkward for the couple.

For a casual party, sometimes someone just forgets to mention whether or not kids can come.

Post # 7
Member
141 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@bmo88:  From an infertile woman (me!) thank you… the one that hurts my feelings the most are “you want kids?! take mine”….I feel like saying that I actually will!

Post # 8
Member
748 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@bmo88:  haha I deal with all the same – dogs have a lot in common with kids! Even my friends with kids say so!

Post # 9
Member
1381 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I agree with all listed, but I’m CBC and plan to remain childfree. I have five pets, they’re my kids. DH and I feel as though we won’t have time to balance our pets and our kids, so we’re not having kids. Sad? maybe.

Everytime a Facebook friend posts something gross about their child’s poop I counter with a gross bathroom story about my dogs. It tends to shut them up pretty quickly.

Post # 10
Member
2062 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

This article was written to fuel fires. There are nicer ways to say things, from both sides.

Post # 11
Member
5445 posts
Bee Keeper

I think it’s pretty accurate for some people 🙂

Post # 12
Member
252 posts
Helper bee

I agree with all 5 of them, though I think #4 has a time and placed to be asked, depending on the situation. But I really really hate when people use #5. My life is not meaningless without children. My life has plenty of meaning, and I’ve provided at least some enjoyment to people over the years with my career. My priorities and life are just different from your’s now. DH and I are childless by choice and by biology. Due to health issues in my earlier years, I am now infertile (not sterile, just infertile), but DH and I aren’t even sure we want children. However, if we ever do decide to have a child, we want to adopt.

I will say though, that I have replied quite snarkily to someone who used #2 on me. I was talking about how tired I was from staying up 2 days straight to meet a deadline, and the person said “Oh, try doing that, with a deployed husband and 2 toddlers!” Implying what? That she’d stayed up 48 hours straight to meet a deadline while her husband was deployed and dealing with her two toddlers? Anyway, a few minutes later she said, “Oh man, I am famished. I haven’t eaten since breakfast!” and I replied, “Oh, you think that’s bad? Try not eating since last Monday, and not having clean drinking water.” She said “What was that about?” and I replied, “I just thought you’d want to know that other people have it worse than you.” Yeah, not my proudest moment, but I’d been up for 48 hours straight and was awfully tired.

 

Post # 13
Member
811 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

@Charbelle:  People actually say that to you? DO they realize you have challenges with fertility or not?

Yeah, I could see having that one be pretty hurtful. I am sorry that people say that to you.

Post # 14
Member
7664 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2013 - UK

I thought this was pretty funny. The only one I really disagree with is #4. Just because your kids aren’t invited by name, does not mean that they aren’t welcome. People often forget to invite the kids… it’s a genuine mistake, and there’s nothing wrong with asking a polite question.

#1 I’m in two minds about. I currently have a missing cat, and never knew I could feel this **** about it. I can see the link in the minds of some people. This is a little life which you care for like a child, and which shares your life and your home. So I get it. On the other hand, some people are really weird. Like those people who try to marry their pets. That’s just creepy. They definitely need to be told #1.

Post # 15
Member
252 posts
Helper bee

@Rachel631: Like those people who try to marry their pets. That’s just creepy. They definitely need to be told #1.

Hahahahahahaha this reminds me of a friend’s daughter who was watching that cat food commerical where the guy proposed using the kitten’s collar (Will you marry us?) and she said “Well that is just wrong. People can’t go marrying their cats!” She took it quite literally and her reaction was priceless.

Post # 16
Member
7664 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2013 - UK

@LynnSnow:  Ha ha! Funny!

I actually really wanted DH to propose by tying a ring around our cat’s collar and giving her to me… but he didn’t. Boo!

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