Post # 1
We’re 5 weeks out from the wedding and I found out I’m pregnant today with our first child. I don’t know how far along I am yet but I’m thinking about 7 weeks.
I’m kind of freaking out. I was already stressed beyond belief with wedding stuff. Just thinking about adding in doctors appointments and figuring stuff out stresses me out.
We wanted to wait 5 years for children. We’re getting married young (21) and knew we weren’t ready. Obviously our actions are our own fault but I’m still freaking out. The worst thing is going to be telling his mom and grandparents, who are….a little crazy. I have so many thoughts running through my head I don’t know if I should be upset or happy.
Does anyone have any advice? Have any of you been/are pregnant and getting married soon?
Post # 3
@Sunshine1011: Congrats! That is wonderful!
I know it is scary now, but you won’t be the first or the last pregnant bride. I would just take a deep breath, enjoy your wedding, then focus on your baby when you come back from the wedding. People may talk, but they would find something to gossip about anyways.
As for family, it doesn’t matter. 5 years might be ideal, but that isn’t what your life will be like. You have to focus on this pregancy. Will you keep it? If so, how are you going to prepare?
One thing to note, 1/3 of the pilgrims were pregant at their wedding and my aunt (Who worked for a catholic church office) would get at least one phone call a month from a person looking up info about their grandparents and they had the wrong year of marriage. As the priest always told her “tell the truth about their wedding date and birth date of their first child, maybe it will teach them to be less judgemental when their grand daughter gets knocked up out of wedlock”. This is nothing new.
There are some other bee’s in your situation, let me go look and find the link.
Post # 4
Post # 5
I would wait until after the wedding before telling anyone anything. I don’t know what kind of family you have. If they are very conservative or not. But if you are married and announce your pregnancy, nothing should have anything against you about that. If it were me, I would just focus on the wedding until it’s over, and then start doing all the baby worrying. I only like to focus on one thing at a time! Just make sure to start taking care of yourself in the meantime.
Post # 6
Yeah even though I’m beyond scared the thought of abortion or adoption never crossed my mind. I know life doesn’t always go as planned but we’re living with my parents for the first 3 months after we get married. I’m sure this will make it much more stressful. My sisters are great support so I don’t have to worry about that. It’s just so scary.
Thank you for giving me those links! It helps to know I’m not the only one to have gone through this.
Post # 7
@Sunshine1011: As others have said, won’t be the first or last pregnant bride. But if his mom and grandparents are going to freak I would probably wait until after the wedding to tell them.
Post # 8
@raziel1687: Yeah ideally it’d be nice to wait until after, but I think his mom would be even more angry that we waited until 4 months to tell her. It’s so hard to kbow what the right thing to do is. We’ll for sure tell my family because they’re really supportive. I’ve actually already told my sisters. His grandparents are really conservative so I’m scared for their reaction
Post # 9
@Sunshine1011: Actually, I think it’s GREAT news that you are staying with your parents for the first three months after your wedding. It’s the perfect time to lean on them and get support from them. I’m sure they will stress you the hell out, but there’s a lot to be gained from having family super close to you during this time. And congratulations!
Post # 10
@Sunshine1011: Congrats!! Now act like you don’t know and tell no one! I mean no one. You know how ppl are. Once they get a good piece of gossip they can’t wait to tell someone. Then that person tells the next and the next…. start complaining about heartburn now. And when you don’t drink at the wedding tell them it’s due to heartburn medication. (Medications: Nizatidine, Metoclopramide, Cimetidine, and Ranitidine) after the wedding. “OMG, Just found out the reason for the heartburn is because I’m pregnant. I took tests but they were all negative” now no one will talk crap and think less of you.
Post # 11
Step 1: start taking a really good vitamin. Target makes generic pre-natals that I took before the wedding for my skin and hair that I really liked. Step 2: make an appointment with your clinic to get an accurate due date (tell them about your failed BC, that’s usually enough to get you in for an appointment). Step 3: keep yourself hydrated, watch what you’re eating/drinking, and try not to stress yourself out. Step 4: decide when you’re planning on telling your families. Personally, I would wait a couple more weeks just to make sure you’re healthy, the baby’s healthy, and everything is right on schedule. I wouldn’t wait until after the wedding because people might do the math and feel hurt that you were hiding this from them. That’s just my two cents.
Post # 12
@Sunshine1011: You’re 7 weeks along & the wedding is in 5 weeks. That puts you at 12 weeks post-wedding which is when MOST people announce their pregnancy anyway. Just wait. Why make them upset with you before the wedding? And when you announce “Hey! We’re married and pregnant!” they most likely won’t be as negitive.
Post # 13
@cmbr: +1 the initial shock is stressful to everyone who gets a bfp. take it all one step at a time. just make sure you take care of yourself mentally and physically. Sometimes it helps to take a “ME” day do what u like for me it’s getting manis and pedis, it helps relieve some of the anxiety.
Post # 14
My parents got married because my mom was pregnant. If you want to tell your family, go ahead. If I were you, I would wait until after the wedding to tell anyone who may not be supportive. Besides, lots of people don’t tell anyone until after 1st trimester and you won’t be much past that.
Post # 15
My mom was about 10 weeks pregnant with me at her wedding. She said another week or two and her dress may not have fit. What they did was they went away for their honeymoon and came back and annouced they were pregnant. Everyone was happy and it went quite a ways towards smoothing things over with my dad’s mom. If my mom had terminated me my parents never would have had children. I am the only pregnancy they ever managed to achieve.
Post # 16
7 weeks, so your period is about…3 weeks late? (give or take a few days?)
its a big change but its going to be fine i promise =) in all honesty, even if you are 7 weeks theres not much a doctor will do right now. maybe an appointment for some blood work as a lot of doctors wont give you an ultrasound before 12 weeks (though depends on where you are, and your insurance
how does your fi feel about it? remember its stressful, but youre not in this alone
edit – everyone is saying wait until after wedding, but depending on bloating etc you may look pregnant early than expected. i was very bloated and then it seamlessly turned into a baby bump…so i have been looking pregnant since about 8-10 weeks
edit again –
oh yes, +1 on the prenatal vitamin or folic acid (strictly speaking a full prenatal isnt needed in first tri but folic acid v important)
remember you cant take ibuprofen or aspirin.,.if you need a painkiller paracetamol is safe. limit caffeine, alcohol, quit smoking if youre a smoker. and thats about all you need to worry about right now