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"50 Universal Truths that All Men Should -- but don't -- Understand"

posted 7 months ago in The Lounge
  •  
    1.
    Member
    1,824 posts
    Buzzing bee
    littlemissmango    July 7, 2012   Oahu, HI

    Came across this list today and had to share! 

    From this site:

    1. Saying "I love you" immediately before, during, or following sex doesn't count.

     

    2. Real men drive stick shift.

     

    3. I will leave if you lie.

     

    4. You are cute in raglan-sleeved T-shirts (two-toned baseball undershirts).


    5. I'm convinced I'm pregnant and obsess about it for a minimum of 24 to 48 hours before my period, even when I have no rational reason to think so.

     

    6. I love it when you hug me from behind and whisper in my ear.

     

    7. "Fine" is never an appropriate response when I ask you how I look.

     

     8. Most of the time when I fantasize, it's about you.

     

    9. I'm terrified of becoming my mother, even though I admire her.

     

    10. I get turned on simply seeing that I have an e-mail from you.

     

    11. I expect you to call me.

     

    12. Only rock stars are allowed to wear leather pants.

     

    13. I'm scared of losing my independence.

     

    14. I'm more forgiving of you than I really should be.

     

    15. Oral sex is your get-out-of-the-doghouse-free card. Manolo Blahnik shoes also do the trick.

     

    16. You did something bad. I seem cool with it. I'm not. (See directly above.)

     

    17. If I'm not having sex with you, I'm... a. ...having a fat day. b. ...not feeling "connected" to you. c. ...blackmailing you to get something I want.

     

    18. Shoes determine whether you're fashionable or not.

     

    19. I own a Debbie Gibson CD, and I'm not afraid to use it.

     

    20. When I compare my flabby tummy to a kangaroo pouch, say nothing.

    21. A man I love plans the occasional fancy-schmancy dress-up date and impromptu weekend getaways, and he buys my favorite candy in advance when we're just going to the movies.

     

    22. You look hot in hooded clothing items.

     

    23. You should never tell me what to do.

     

    24. If I slept over, you owe me breakfast.

     

    25. My breasts love much licking and sucking.

     

    26. If you ask me out directly, I will say yes.

     

    27. I'm very impressed when you ask for my advice.

     

    28. I'm unimpressed with a man who doesn't take the lead.

     

    29. When in doubt, go with the shirt that matches your eye color.

     

    30. I want to be Madonna.

     

    31. Women get urinary-tract infections easily, so watch (and wash) your fingers.

     

    32. I'm in heaven when you hold my hand.

     

    33. You're sexy when you're shaving, fixing things, wearing a white T-shirt and jeans, driving, eating a peach, holding a baby.

     

    34. I need to hear how you feel about me. Often. Tell me now.

     

    35. Surprises, especially gifts for moi = more loving.

     

    36. I want to be the best thing that ever happened to you--and for you to recognize this.

     

    37. If I'm not feeling loved, I will start looking....

     

    38. Discussion of ex-gf's and ex-bf's should be avoided at all times.

     

    39. I like it when you tell me what you're thinking, even if you don't know yourself.

     

    40. Celebrating our anniversary, even if it's only been a few months, earns major bonus points.

    41. I love it when you're sweaty.

     

    42. It's best to consult your gal pals for gift ideas.

     

    43. A lady should always be greeted with kisses.

     

    44. I like porn.

     

    45. I love holding your bum in the palms of my hands.

     

    46. Even nice girls like hushed dirty talk in public.

     

    47. It's cheating as soon as you're doing something with her that you wouldn't want me to see, hear, read...

     

    48. For the record: I'd rather you break up with me than cheat.

     

    49. I remember everything about our relationship.

     

    50. You should know all this and more with-out my telling you.

     

    Haha! What do you guys think, pretty accurate?? 

     
    2.
    Member
    5,274 posts
    Bee Keeper
    Mrs.tobe    September 30, 2011   the middle of there

    I LOVE them alllll!

    45. is cracking me up!

     
    3.
    Member
    539 posts
    Busy bee
    Stassney    March 11, 2012   Austin, Tx

    I reeeeally agree with 33 and 46, Kinda disagree with 38.. but I think me and my relationship are a little weird.

     
    4.
    Member
    340 posts
    Helper bee
    laceywings      

    30 and 44 are definitely not true, and i dunno about all this shoe talk. i like shoes but...like...not as much as whoever wrote this list, i guess.

     
    5.
    Member
    1,464 posts
    Bumble bee
    SoupyCat    February 6, 2010  

    Don't really agree with 1, 2, 15, 17, 19 22, 30, 33, 41, and some others to a lesser degree. Guess it's really less universal truths than personal truths.

     
    6.
    Member
    2,319 posts
    Buzzing bee
    Coffee cup    December 7, 2012   Sonora, Mexico

    I don't agree with a few. But it's like I wrote 17, 33, 35, 47 and 49. I love this!

    Number 2 was an unspoken rule of us for the first 4 years of out relationship, we let it go now cause we know it's true no matter when you say it.

     
    7.
    Member
    5,274 posts
    Bee Keeper
    Mrs.tobe    September 30, 2011   the middle of there

    I don't think they're all universal either. But they are hilarious and there is at least a level or degree of truth to most of them. 34 makes me giggle.

    12 is very true.

     
    8.
    Member
    783 posts
    Busy bee
    Melanie11    August 25, 2012   Los Angeles, CA

    Yep, this list is pretty hit-and-miss.  Funny though.  :)

     
    9.
    Member
    116 posts
    Blushing bee
    Miss Oates    June 9, 2012   Oregon

    I love it! Most of these were dead on :)

     
    10.
    Member
    4,977 posts
    Honey bee
    Evie19    January 21, 2012  

    #34 is so true, i can't get enough love talk! :)

     
    11.
    Member
    2,050 posts
    Buzzing bee
    Miss Godiva    June 1, 2012   California

    LOVE THIS! There are a few that don't apply to us, but a lot are spot on, and many definitely had me giggling!

     
    12.
    Member
    2,109 posts
    Buzzing bee
    pinkandsparkly    November 12, 2011   Boston

    7. "Fine" is never an appropriate response when I ask you how I look.

    we got in a MAJOR fight about this a few years ago. I think he learned his lesson :)

     
    13.
    Member
    667 posts
    Busy bee
    s_h_e_l_b_s    May 8, 2010  

    Thanks! Made me smile :)

     

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