- 3 years ago
- Wedding: August 1987
50 ways of making your diamond look bigger: a guide for the initiated, uninitiated and addicted diamond aficionardo.
*Disclaimer: Please note that the following prose is not to be taken too seriously but is meant for light entertainment with the occasional serious point.
The inexpensive and practical section (simple techniques):
- Clean your ring often so that the diamond always looks its best and brightest and biggest.
- Take a look at your diamond ring but in the mirror. You’ll see it in reverse and the new sense of perspective and the lack of visual familiarity will make the diamond will look much bigger. (In fact it will seem exactly the same size as when you first received it.)
- Take a photo of your diamond ring with your mobile phone. When you look at the photo you’ll see the ring from a different perspective and so the diamond will look bigger. (This can also be due to the tendency of phone cameras making near items look larger, especially on zoom settings.)
- Take a photo of your diamond ring and post it on Weddingbee. You will be surprised how nice and big the diamond looks. This also has the advantage that you can compare how your ring looks with how other people’s rings look. If your diamond looks proportionally slightly bigger than in real life, so do their diamonds.
- Paint your nails in pale elegant translucent pink when wearing your diamond ring. Your diamond will then look bigger because it isn’t competing with your nail colour.
- Lose a slight amount of weight. The width of your fingers will be slightly smaller and your diamond will therefore look a little bigger.
- Grow long and elegant finger nails. This will make your fingers look longer and slimmer, and this, in turn, will make your diamond look bigger.
- When choosing a diamond choose one with a slightly bigger table in the well cut range so that in poor lighting more of the diamond will be white and the ‘frilly edges’ will be minimised. This tends to make a diamond look a little bigger.
- Don’t allow familiarity to breed contempt. Wear your diamond ring every other day. Every second morning the diamond will look as big as it did when you were first given it.
- Never more than glance at anyone else’s ring, ever. Comparison is the thief of size and as long as you don’t compare rings with other people your diamond will always seem to be one of those diamonds that is bigger.
The ring altering section (slightly more expensive techniques):
- Set your diamond in a ring with a thinner band. The marked difference in the diameter of the diamond and the diameter of the band will make the diamond look bigger.
- Set your diamond in a ring with a knife edge band. Knife edges are strong but look very delicate from above and this will make the diamond look bigger.
- Make sure that your band narrows just next to the diamond. This will make the diamond look bigger.
- Increase the size of the prongs and this will make the diamond look bigger.
- Increase the number of the prongs and this will make the diamond look bigger.
- Add a halo. Although a halo is pretty in itself, from a distance the diamond plus halo will just look like a bigger diamond.
- Change the setting to a bezel. The eye sees the diamond and the encircling metal as one object and so interprets it as one slightly bigger diamond.
- Add side stones. These will merge with the main stone and the area of bling will look bigger.
- Invest in an illusion setting. These were very popular in the 1040s. Such settings can be attractive and are designed to make a diamond look bigger.
- Do all of the above simultaneously. Your diamond will most definitely look bigger.
The optical illusion section (The sanity ends here, folks – you have been warned.):
- If you are short-sighted never wear your contact lenses or your glasses when looking at your ring. Just remember that a blurred diamond will appear to be a bigger diamond.
- If you have normal vision then wear sunglasses smeared with suncream. The result will be that the blurred diamond will look bigger.
- If you are long-sighted wear your contact lenses and your glasses at the same time. Just remember that a doubly magnified diamond looks to be a bigger diamond.
- Attach a magnifying glass to your ring so that the diamond always looks bigger. (Safety warning: please do take care on sunny days not to accidently set fire to anything.)
- To avoid setting fire to anything take a photo of your diamond, print it at twice the size and superglue it to your ring – you will look like you possess an enormous diamond and everyone will be suitably jealous. If the diamond in the photo starts to look small you can print the photo at four times the size, repeat the superglue process and it will look bigger again.
- Buy a telescope or a pair of binoculars and every morning, placing your diamond ring at one end of the room and yourself plus optical instrument of your choice at the other. Gaze lovingly at your diamond that suddenly looks bigger.
- If you have to look at other people’s diamond rings always observe them through the wrong end of a telescope or pair of binoculars. This will make their diamond look smaller and by default your diamond will look bigger.
- Take your diamond ring scuba diving. The magnification due to refraction between the water and the face mask will make your diamond look around 33% bigger. (A less expensive method is to dip your hand into a fish tank and observe the diamond through the glass).
- Look at your diamond ring through other objects that magnify. Collect wine bottles, juice bottles, nail varnish bottles, etc. and just line them up all over your house so that you can enjoy your diamond looking bigger in different locations.
- Stand outside in a thunderstorm with your arm outstretched and your palm facing down. Either you will be stuck by lightning or a large fat raindrop will land on your diamond and make the diamond look bigger.
The denial section (for the strong minded)
- Remind yourself that diamonds are only crystallised carbon. They are beautiful and fun but size is relatively unimportant.
- Paste a notice to your refrigerator door saying: ‘I will not be influenced by the cynical marketing ploys of the diamond industry’ or words to that effect. When you gaze at your diamond it will seem bigger.
- Insist on an ethically mined, conflict free, ‘carbon-neutral’ diamond. It will be more expensive and therefore relatively small but you won’t feel the need for it to be any bigger.
- Buy a smaller everyday diamond ring. Keep your engagement ring for weekends and it will always look much bigger..
- Close your eyes, turn the lights off and put a blindfold on. This will temporarily prevent you seeing your ring and in your memory or imagination your diamond will look bigger.
The seriously subversive section (not for the fainthearted)
- Wear lots of diamond eternity or stacking rings so that your hand is a blaze of bling. Your diamond ring will be completely camouflaged and just look like one big diamond.
- Always arrive at restaurants 20 minutes early so that you can spend some time positioning the spotlights so that they all point at your diamond. This will ensure that other people’s diamonds look duller and smaller and your diamond looks brighter and bigger.
- Invest in a setting that holds the diamond 20cm above the shank of your ring. As long as the diamond is facing towards you it will appear to be much bigger but be careful not to be arrested in possession of what the police might consider a dangerous weapon.
- Talk to your cosmetic surgeon about arm-shortening surgery. Drastic, I know, but your diamond ring will be closer to your face and therefore look bigger.
- Take photos of your friends’ rings and photoshop them so that they look smaller. Do the exact opposite with your own ring so that it looks bigger.
- Wear a tiara and few people will ever comment on the smaller or bigger size of your diamond engagement ring. Ditto for a clown’s outfit, spacesuit, ten-gallon hat and spurs, wetsuit or single strategically-placed hula hoop.
- Expand your social life so that you have a much greater range of friends than before. If the average diamond size in the US is 0.38 carats then the chances are, if you are a US Weddingbee member, your diamond will be one of the bigger ones.
- Let your partner wear your diamond ring on his/her pinkie, the diamond will look smaller on him/her than it does on you (it’s further away) and then wear the ring again and it will look bigger. Repeat as necessary.
- There may be evidence that the size of a diamond is proportional to the size of the giver’s bank balance but there is no evidence that it is proportional to the size of the giver’s anatomy. If someone criticises the size of your ring then smile sweetly and tell them that “bigger does not necessarily mean bigger.”
- Make your life so full of scary moments that you don’t even have time to think about the size of your diamond. A fast ride at Disneyland or a spot of skydiving will stop you thinking, “Is this diamond smaller or is it bigger?”.
- On holiday take photos (using a trick called ‘forced perspective’) with your diamond ring in the foreground and a famous landmark or celestial object in the background. If you make sure that both objects are in focus you can make your diamond look at big as the White House, the Empire State Building, Buckingham Palace, the Pyramids, the Taj Mahal, the Moon and the Sun.
- Move to the UK or Europe or Asia or Australia or Africa. Compared with US citizens most of us in the rest of the world have no engagement ring at all, a plain band or an engagement ring with a small (highly taxed) diamond. The comparison will make your ring look bigger.
- If you already have children make sure that your diamond ring is not only from your partner but also from your children. If your children have helped choose your ring then no other diamond will ever compete with your diamond even if the other diamond is bigger.
- Stop comparing your diamond with those on Pricescope, Weddingbee, GOG, Whiteflash, Blue Nile, James Allen, Brian Gavin, Tiffany, Cartier and De Beers websites quite so often. Often photos are misleading and even though you lust after the diamond on the site it probably doesn’t look anywhere near as good in reality. Just remember that your ring is the best ring in the world and it doesn’t need to be any bigger.
The Oscar Wilde approach:
- To quote Oscar Wilde, “The only way to get rid of temptation is to yield to it”. Time rolls by and our spouses want to celebrate by giving us something nice to show us how much they love us. We toy with the idea of flowers or furniture and realise that we desire things that have no intrinsic use and yet are, like us, lovely, valuable, sparkly, enchanting things. We turn to our SOs and request something that is a little sparklier, brighter and bigger than what we have ever had before. Luckily, they think that we are worth it.