Weddingbee boards

Helllllooooooo everyone!  I have been lurking on here for weeks and love it here!  I wanted to go ahead and introduce myself before I burst.  Plus, my SO has banned all wedding and engagement talk b/c I was trying to control the proposal (he needs my help, lol!).

I'm 23, will be 24 in March, He's 24.  Started dating sophmore in undergrad, been together 5.5 years.  We've had extensive talks about marriage, finances, vaues, child rearing, career, etc etc. I am very close to his family, especially his mom, who considers me a fifth child.  I can't even articulate ho much I love that woman and appreciate all the things she has done for me.

This past August we decided it was just time to get a ring, it felt very natural and not forced.  We went to two jewelers and found the ring just sitting on the counter calling us (it's a cushion cut 6.2mm x6.4mm emerald stone surrounded by diamond halos and pave diamonds on the sides of the band).  So now I am just playing the waiting game and about to kill myself, lol. 

My father left when I was 5 so he asked my oldest brother for my hand in marriage; my brother gave his approval, which was very cute.  Now the parents......

It's extremely important for both of us to have our parents on board with this.  As I mentioned before I'm very very close to his family; he is not as close to my mother.  We are both black, but my mom was really adamant about me marrying a black person from her country of origin.  Obviously I don't care about this, but it has left a bitter taste in her mouth.  His parents support our relationship but we are not so sure  they would support an engagement/marry at this point.  His mom made it quite clear to me that she thinks it would be best for her children to follow in her footsteps and marry at age 29-31 after ALL schooling was done and one had a few years of career under their belt.  My SO is currently in medical school and I work as an Analyst at a non-profit and will be applying to business school next fall.

While I understand his mom's concern, there is no way we are going to add another 6-7 years to our dating repertoire for a total of 12 years dating before marriage.  We are adamant about not living together until we are married so that is a bit ridiculous to me.  Sure, we coud go ahead and get married without their full approval; however we believe that the start of a marriage should be a joyous occasion for both families without anger or residual resentment.

Ok this is getting long but it is troubling us and getting in the way of us finally making that leap (plus I'm afraid something is going to happen to that ring the longer we drag our feet).  Does anyone have any advice on how to gently and respectfully let our parents know that their support (not monetarily) is very important to us; however we can't wait another 4-6 years to marry? 

I'd appreciate any thought; I apologize  for the length.  Kudos to anyone who gets through it, lol.

Thank you! ::kisses:::

You make it sound so simple!  Unfortunately our families are so crazy and complicated :(

But we might be blowing it wayyyyy out of proportion in our minds.......

thanks so much everyone!

i think 5.5 years is long enough for the two of you to have figured out you want to be together. you are also two adults. even though your families may not be 100% on board now, i think with the engagement announcement and wedding planning, it will turn them around! families are funny that way. if in the end everyone wants you both to be happy, and if this is what will make you happy, then the least they can do is give your their blessings!

congrats! this must be so exciting!