This question is directed at both brides and bridesmaids. I'm having my hair done professionally for the wedding at my local salon and would like to offer appointments to my bridesmaids if they are interested. (I don't have any preference in how they do their hair, just wanted to give them another option if they don't want to do it themselves.) The up-dos at this salon cost between $65-85, plus tip. I checked around and the prices are pretty much the going rate for my area. If we had a larger budget I'd be happy to just treat the bridesmaids to the salon appointment but we're paying for the wedding ourselves and this wasn't in my budgeted list of expenses. What have other brides and bridesmaids done? Who has paid for the bridal party appointments in the weddings you have attended? If it's common practice for the bride to pay I can try to figure out a way to make it work. Thanks!!
My BMs are paying for it themselves. I just said that it was up to them whether they wanted to get their hair and makeup done and listed the price of each service, and that they should let me know if they wanted it so that I could make an appt for them. That got the message across pretty clearly without being awkward.
My BMs are also paying for themselves however I am giving them a gift certificate to help cover a portion of the cost (approx. $25). I did the same thing Rebecca mentioned (see above) and made the services optional.
All the weddings I've been in, the bridesmaids have paid for their own hair. The last wedding I was in, we paid for our hair ($60 each) and the bride and her mother took care of the tip. They also paid for us to get our nails (mani/pedi) done, gave us a $20 gift certificate for that. We took care of the tip and any extra expense (for example, I wanted a french manicure, so I paid extra for that). I think I will do something similar for my girls. At least the tip for the hair, still undecided about the nails.
I'm with dahlia. It was completely optional. My girls are paying, and they're all getting hair, but not makeup done.
The downside is that to get a discount, I had to prepay, so now they have to pay me back, and I'm a sucker for saying, "oh don't worry about it." Yeah... on the upside, my hair is free, so I don't have to worry too much.
For my wedding, I paid for all the girls Hair/Makeup but they bought their own dress. I think if it's in your budget, that's a nice thing to do, but every person is different, so if it's not in your budget, don't feel obligated. But be sure to let your girls know up front as that is something that they may not have budgeted for themselves, so give them an option of going somewhere else to have it done if they choose to! Either way, I think it's a nice thought, but if you can't afford it, you can't afford it. =)
I paid for my hair at the last wedding I was in and did my own make up. For my wedding, my BM's are paying for themselves. I gave them the option to do whatever they want for hair and makeup. They are all stylish people. So I'm sure they will look great. Most of them are just getting blow outs or leaving their hair down anyway and prefer doing their own make up.
Agree with all the posters above that it's optional. If you have it in your budget, it's a nice thing to pay for. If you want your BMs wearing their hair in a specific style, then I think that warrants the bride paying, too.
However, that doesn't seem to be the case in your situation. My primary advice is to manage expectations and talk about it right away when brides ask the BMs to be in the wedding.
Setting expectations of what duties you expect them to perform and what the costs will be for each girl sometimes helps them decide if they can participate, and can maybe deter the many issues we've all seen on these boards!
So if you haven't done it already, talke to each BM indiviudally or as a group on what they should be expecting from here to the wedding. Good luck!
when i was a BM it was optional so i paid for it myself because i can't fix my own hair. however, just from that experience, it was a little obnoxious and hurtful for the bride to talk about all the money they were saving by not doing certain things even as i paid hundreds of dollars for the dress, shoes, hair, airfare, and travel. a little gesture like paying for our hair or a night in a hotel (anything) would have made a huge difference in how i felt about the situation.
i'm not saying that people *should* pay for certain things or that they shouldn't try to save money. i guess i'm just saying to be conscious of how much your friends are already doing for you, and be sure to try to find a way (monetary or not) that really shows them how much you appreciate their help.
I'm making it optional for my bridesmaids if they want their hair done, since I told them they can do their hair however they want on the wedding day. I gave them my vendor's price list and are letting them decide. I think its okay to ask bridesmaids to pay for themselves as long as you aren't asking them to do something specific with their hair or wear it all in the same style. I talked to my bridesmaids about this, and they feel its fair, since I'm already gifting them their dress.
My girls are all getting theirs done in updos (they want to), but I'm covering some of the cost so it's not very expensive. I'm also treating them to makeup.
The rule is if you're requiring your bridesmaids to get their hair done or you're requiring it to be done a certain way, then YOU pay.
Otherwise, if it's completely optional, then the bridesmaids are on their own. I definitely can't afford to pay for my bridesmaids to get their hair done. We can barely pay for the essential wedding expenses let alone any extras lol. But that's why I'm not requiring them to do anything special. If they just want to hair their down like normal, that's totally fine with me.
My bridesmaids are all awesome and pretty cool with paying for everything themselves, but I will probably try to help offset costs somewhere in there, whether for part of the dress, or part of hair and makeup. My mom was really the one pushing for that, and I think it's a nice gesture...her thought process is that if you can help out for at least some of it, the girls will be appreciative and just have more fun. I might try to pay a little bit more for my MOH b/c next to me, she's the one farthest from our wedding location and will have to shell out more money for this wedding on top of the MOH responsibilities! I'm in no way made of money, but I feel that if people are going to be making such a significant and selfless contribution to the wedding day, then I'm going to try to help out, whether through monetary means, or by just being more thoughtful in the planning.
My Bridesmaids are paying for the hair themselves. (theyre all having updos.) except one of them I told her I would help her out! (her parents just moved out of state and she just moved in her with her bf lol) soo im helping her.
They were completely okay with it all though! I'm planning on giving them a gift certificate to a spa here at the beach and also a really nice gift for being a bridesmaid :)
I'm paying for hair/makeup for all 3 of my bridesmaid. They are charging me $150/person.
Before I even had a bridal party, I already set my budget for dress, shoes, hair/makeup because 2 of my 3 bridesmaids are from out of state. So they are already paying for their flights so the least I can do was cover everything else for them.
I have never heard the rule that if you are requiring your BM's to get their hair done, then it is on your dime. My friends already knew that I didn't care HOW they got it done per se, just that they got it done. We all visit the salon every two weeks or so anyway, so it wasn't as if it was an unreasonable request. I paid for their makeup and their accessories, plus I got them all a gift, but they paid for their hair, mani/pedi's, and dresses on their own (except for one who needed help with her dress). I think it's a very nice gesture to pay for some of their services if you can afford to, but if not it doesn't make you a "bad" bride as far as etiquette is concerned. You want everyone to look their best, and your friends usually feel the same way - so I think it's pretty much understood that people will do whatever that means and not expect you to foot the bill for it, but if you do decide to help them in any way, I know they will appreciate it.
I hate to say it, but it is considered bad etiquette if you force your bridesmaids to get their hair done a certain way and you don't pay for it. I've been a bridesmaid before and fortunately my friend didn't require me to get an updo or anything. If she did, I certainly would have expected her to pay for it. On all the wedding boards I've read online, most people would disagree with you. Your friends will look nice even if their hair isn't done by a hairstylist.
By the way, how much money do you and your friends make to be able to afford to visit the salon every 2 weeks?! lol... Based on that, maybe it isn't a big deal in your circle for people to shell out money to get their hair done. But I know for many people (including myself), it's expensive enough as it is just paying for the bridesmaid dress, alterations, gift, etc. I couldn't imagine being forced to pay to get my hair done on top of everything else. That's a bit excessive in my opinion.
What great guidelines and suggestions! I've got a tiny wedding party (my MOH plus a close friend who is our officiant). I'm paying for their mani/pedis the day prior as part of a women's day (all the moms and other close family are invited as well). Hair and makeup they will do themselves - the salons in the area are crazy expensive. I'm only getting mine done because I'm hopeless at updos.
Not paying is not bad, but try and make the appointment option available in a way that minimizes confusion and makes expectations clear (that it's optional and completely up to them). Also make the prices known so they aren't in an awkward spot if it is beyond their budget.
This question is directed at both brides and bridesmaids. I'm having my hair done professionally for the wedding at my local salon and would like to offer appointments to my bridesmaids if they are interested. (I don't have any preference in how they do their hair, just wanted to give them another option if they don't want to do it themselves.) The up-dos at this salon cost between $65-85, plus tip. I checked around and the prices are pretty much the going rate for my area. If we had a larger budget I'd be happy to just treat the bridesmaids to the salon appointment but we're paying for the wedding ourselves and this wasn't in my budgeted list of expenses. What have other brides and bridesmaids done? Who has paid for the bridal party appointments in the weddings you have attended? If it's common practice for the bride to pay I can try to figure out a way to make it work. Thanks!!
posted by mikala 1 week agoMy BMs are paying for it themselves. I just said that it was up to them whether they wanted to get their hair and makeup done and listed the price of each service, and that they should let me know if they wanted it so that I could make an appt for them. That got the message across pretty clearly without being awkward.
posted by rebecca 1 week agoMy BMs are also paying for themselves however I am giving them a gift certificate to help cover a portion of the cost (approx. $25). I did the same thing Rebecca mentioned (see above) and made the services optional.
posted by megs08 1 week agoMine are paying for it themselves- and it is completely optional. All of them decided to get their hair done, but none are getting their makeup done.
posted by dahlia 1 week agoAll the weddings I've been in, the bridesmaids have paid for their own hair. The last wedding I was in, we paid for our hair ($60 each) and the bride and her mother took care of the tip. They also paid for us to get our nails (mani/pedi) done, gave us a $20 gift certificate for that. We took care of the tip and any extra expense (for example, I wanted a french manicure, so I paid extra for that). I think I will do something similar for my girls. At least the tip for the hair, still undecided about the nails.
posted by LeahB 1 week agoI'm with dahlia. It was completely optional. My girls are paying, and they're all getting hair, but not makeup done.
The downside is that to get a discount, I had to prepay, so now they have to pay me back, and I'm a sucker for saying, "oh don't worry about it." Yeah... on the upside, my hair is free, so I don't have to worry too much.
posted by bethgraced 1 week agoFor my wedding, I paid for all the girls Hair/Makeup but they bought their own dress. I think if it's in your budget, that's a nice thing to do, but every person is different, so if it's not in your budget, don't feel obligated. But be sure to let your girls know up front as that is something that they may not have budgeted for themselves, so give them an option of going somewhere else to have it done if they choose to! Either way, I think it's a nice thought, but if you can't afford it, you can't afford it. =)
posted by MissBlueBear 1 week agoI paid for my hair at the last wedding I was in and did my own make up. For my wedding, my BM's are paying for themselves. I gave them the option to do whatever they want for hair and makeup. They are all stylish people. So I'm sure they will look great. Most of them are just getting blow outs or leaving their hair down anyway and prefer doing their own make up.
posted by Bride888 1 week agoAgree with all the posters above that it's optional. If you have it in your budget, it's a nice thing to pay for. If you want your BMs wearing their hair in a specific style, then I think that warrants the bride paying, too.
However, that doesn't seem to be the case in your situation. My primary advice is to manage expectations and talk about it right away when brides ask the BMs to be in the wedding.
Setting expectations of what duties you expect them to perform and what the costs will be for each girl sometimes helps them decide if they can participate, and can maybe deter the many issues we've all seen on these boards!
So if you haven't done it already, talke to each BM indiviudally or as a group on what they should be expecting from here to the wedding. Good luck!
posted by SoCalBeachGirl 1 week agowhen i was a BM it was optional so i paid for it myself because i can't fix my own hair. however, just from that experience, it was a little obnoxious and hurtful for the bride to talk about all the money they were saving by not doing certain things even as i paid hundreds of dollars for the dress, shoes, hair, airfare, and travel. a little gesture like paying for our hair or a night in a hotel (anything) would have made a huge difference in how i felt about the situation.
i'm not saying that people *should* pay for certain things or that they shouldn't try to save money. i guess i'm just saying to be conscious of how much your friends are already doing for you, and be sure to try to find a way (monetary or not) that really shows them how much you appreciate their help.
posted by amysue 1 week agoI'm making it optional for my bridesmaids if they want their hair done, since I told them they can do their hair however they want on the wedding day. I gave them my vendor's price list and are letting them decide. I think its okay to ask bridesmaids to pay for themselves as long as you aren't asking them to do something specific with their hair or wear it all in the same style. I talked to my bridesmaids about this, and they feel its fair, since I'm already gifting them their dress.
posted by peaches 1 week agoMy girls are all getting theirs done in updos (they want to), but I'm covering some of the cost so it's not very expensive. I'm also treating them to makeup.
posted by Bride2bee2009 1 week agoThe rule is if you're requiring your bridesmaids to get their hair done or you're requiring it to be done a certain way, then YOU pay.
Otherwise, if it's completely optional, then the bridesmaids are on their own. I definitely can't afford to pay for my bridesmaids to get their hair done. We can barely pay for the essential wedding expenses let alone any extras lol. But that's why I'm not requiring them to do anything special. If they just want to hair their down like normal, that's totally fine with me.
posted by kappaucf20 1 week agoMy bridesmaids are all awesome and pretty cool with paying for everything themselves, but I will probably try to help offset costs somewhere in there, whether for part of the dress, or part of hair and makeup. My mom was really the one pushing for that, and I think it's a nice gesture...her thought process is that if you can help out for at least some of it, the girls will be appreciative and just have more fun. I might try to pay a little bit more for my MOH b/c next to me, she's the one farthest from our wedding location and will have to shell out more money for this wedding on top of the MOH responsibilities! I'm in no way made of money, but I feel that if people are going to be making such a significant and selfless contribution to the wedding day, then I'm going to try to help out, whether through monetary means, or by just being more thoughtful in the planning.
posted by fadedblue 1 week agoMy Bridesmaids are paying for the hair themselves. (theyre all having updos.) except one of them I told her I would help her out! (her parents just moved out of state and she just moved in her with her bf lol) soo im helping her.
They were completely okay with it all though! I'm planning on giving them a gift certificate to a spa here at the beach and also a really nice gift for being a bridesmaid :)
posted by soaishai 1 week agoI'm paying for hair/makeup for all 3 of my bridesmaid. They are charging me $150/person.
Before I even had a bridal party, I already set my budget for dress, shoes, hair/makeup because 2 of my 3 bridesmaids are from out of state. So they are already paying for their flights so the least I can do was cover everything else for them.
posted by MsJadey 1 week agoI have never heard the rule that if you are requiring your BM's to get their hair done, then it is on your dime. My friends already knew that I didn't care HOW they got it done per se, just that they got it done. We all visit the salon every two weeks or so anyway, so it wasn't as if it was an unreasonable request. I paid for their makeup and their accessories, plus I got them all a gift, but they paid for their hair, mani/pedi's, and dresses on their own (except for one who needed help with her dress). I think it's a very nice gesture to pay for some of their services if you can afford to, but if not it doesn't make you a "bad" bride as far as etiquette is concerned. You want everyone to look their best, and your friends usually feel the same way - so I think it's pretty much understood that people will do whatever that means and not expect you to foot the bill for it, but if you do decide to help them in any way, I know they will appreciate it.
posted by mlindsey 1 week agomlindsey-
I hate to say it, but it is considered bad etiquette if you force your bridesmaids to get their hair done a certain way and you don't pay for it. I've been a bridesmaid before and fortunately my friend didn't require me to get an updo or anything. If she did, I certainly would have expected her to pay for it. On all the wedding boards I've read online, most people would disagree with you. Your friends will look nice even if their hair isn't done by a hairstylist.
posted by kappaucf20 1 week agoBy the way, how much money do you and your friends make to be able to afford to visit the salon every 2 weeks?! lol... Based on that, maybe it isn't a big deal in your circle for people to shell out money to get their hair done. But I know for many people (including myself), it's expensive enough as it is just paying for the bridesmaid dress, alterations, gift, etc. I couldn't imagine being forced to pay to get my hair done on top of everything else. That's a bit excessive in my opinion.
posted by kappaucf20 1 week agoWhat great guidelines and suggestions! I've got a tiny wedding party (my MOH plus a close friend who is our officiant). I'm paying for their mani/pedis the day prior as part of a women's day (all the moms and other close family are invited as well). Hair and makeup they will do themselves - the salons in the area are crazy expensive. I'm only getting mine done because I'm hopeless at updos.
Not paying is not bad, but try and make the appointment option available in a way that minimizes confusion and makes expectations clear (that it's optional and completely up to them). Also make the prices known so they aren't in an awkward spot if it is beyond their budget.
posted by missm 1 week ago