Post # 1
This is 2 different problems at onece but…
The BM I thought of asking to be my MOH (i considered her my best friend) im learning I don’t even think I want her to be a BM anymore. I am a BM in her wedding which is 6 months after mine. We have had a big disagreement and I doubt we will ever talk again. Im not a confrontational person and don’t know how to handle this. She is the kind of person that flies off the handle. I would rather not talk to her and both of us just assume we aren’t in eachothers weddings. I tried to send her a email but she got mad.. I don’t know if a phone call would be a good thing at all.
I have 6 BM and their are 6 GM. It was my FH that wanted 6 b/c of how close he is to all of them. I didn’t have 6 close friends so I ended up asking some family and my roommates. My FH does have a BM but I don’t have anyone out of my girls that I can think of to ask as my MOH since im not that close to any of them. To me, they are all MOH in their own ways. Each one of them has helped me in a differnt way.
Should I ask them all to be my MOH, or as my mother suggested should I just have the bride and grooms ‘attendants’ on the program with no titles to anyone…
I hope this makes since as to it is a complicated situation.
Post # 3
<font face=”Times New Roman” size=”3″>So are you saying there are 6 Bms without the one friend who is probably out? I think if you have 5, without her, you should just have 5 BMs. Then your FH can have his best man and pair the other 5 groomsmen with the bridesmaids. So with the honor title of best man, he can stand apart and not be paired with anyone. </font>
<font face=”Times New Roman” size=”3″>If the situation is that you’ll have 6 without your "ex-BM" then I would say either try to pick one of them as MOH, or just leave them all BMs. I think to declare them all MOH would be a little over the top. You said on the one hand you couldn’t pick any of them, but on the other hand you wanted to make them all MOHs. If no one stands out as a MOH contender, I say simply keep them as bridesmaids. Then split MOH duties among them. One walks down the aisle last. One "witnesses" the marriage. One dances with the best man. One is announced just before you at the reception etc.</font>
Post # 4
For the first problem, you need to call her FOR SURE to talk about it! Maybe even see if she would be willing to meet at your house or for coffee, ice cream, etc. to talk about things.
Can you just have all bridemaids and groomsmen for the program, but for the day if your FI wants he can ask one of them men to be his best man…I don’t think that info necessarily needs to go on the program, especially since you are having MOH issues.
Post # 5
I know there are others out there with great advice, so hopefully they’ll be able to see your question.
Post # 6
Ok, I tried to contact her with no luck. Even email with no reply. What now?
Its his brother that is his best man. I don’t think he will be upset if we don’t label him differently.
Thanks for everyones advice. It has help me not stress about it so much! 🙂
Post # 7
It looks like you still have a little time before your wedding, Sept. 09 right?
My suggestion: Let it cool down. My sister kicked her best friend out of the wedding, then a month later put her back in. Things got crazy and too overheated. They realized they didn’t mean the things they had said/done, and friendship was more important then whatever the matter was.
If you still feel you don’t want her in your wedding, and vice versa, in a few weeks-month then try confronting her again if you hadn’t talked to her yet. Make SURE she knows whether she is or isn’t in the wedding.
As far as BM’s go.. If you don’t feel you have a MOH that stands out then don’t label any. Ask your FI whether or not it matters to label his brother the BM. Come to a conclusion that way. I don’t think it will be bad if he still is labeled as a BM and you don’t have a MOH. Every couple and every wedding is different, there are not strict guidelines to follow! Then he can walk by himself, and your 5 BM and 5 GM can walk together.
Hope this helps! Let us know what you decide!
Post # 8
IMO – if you really want to label one MOH, make it family.. blood is thicker than water – and it makes for an easier decision.
Post # 9
I would not make any of them MOH, particularly if not one of them stood out to you as the MOH. It is not necessary to have a MOH.
As for the friend that you’re having problem with, I would deal with her now rather than later. Don’t assume that both are out of each other’s bridal party. Also, I think if you make an effort to talk now, you may be able to salvage the relationship (assuming you want to salvage it). Good luck.
Post # 10
Take the politics out of it. The closest female relative to you gets MOH!
That way you definitely have an excuse, your relative feels closer and your family is overjoyed!
Post # 11
Im so glad that I found weddingbee.. I deeply appreciate all the advice! Thanks bees! I will let you know what I decide!