6 Months, No Thanks

posted 3 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
296 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

Hm, I think you’re reading way too much into it…

1) I’ve heard of couples that take a year to write thank you notes! I personally think that’s horrible, but I can’t judge because my wedding hasn’t happened yet. You never know what’s going on in their lives or how busy they got after the wedding. I personally hope to get them out within weeks to 1 month! Still, I don’t think you should be pissed about not being thanked for a present.

2) Why don’t you just call her and ask her how she’s been? How’s life after wedding? Was just curious if you received my card? This way you can find out if they did, and you can explain if they didn’t….if they did, it’ll serve as a friendly reminder to send out those thank you cards!

Post # 4
2782 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

@CookieCreamCakes:  Regardless of what other people say- I would tastefully find a way to ask if they recieved the card.

I know some people might find it tacky, but depending on exactly who the person was- I would just email them or something (or call, if you’re closer!).

This year, I didn’t get a birthday card from my dad or my grandparents (the grandparents- I expected to either forget or be late because they are very old and have enough issues going on!)– but I did ask my dad about it- because there have been times where my dad has seen my grandparents, they have given my card to my dad- and then it gets lost on my dad’s desk and forgotten about.  I wanted to make sure they got a thank you!!  So I asked my dad- and they hadn’t given him one yet, but he ended up asking them about it and I got a few weeks later in the mail.  Might seem wierd, I know- but I know how things work over here.


Tell them that while you haven’t recieved a thank you, and you’re OK with that (a little white lie won’t hurt)- you want to make sure they recieved your card and enclosed gift.  

Truth is- gifts DO go missing, mail DOES get lost- so you might want to check to make sure!!  They’re the only ones who look like an ass if they got it and didn’t send a thank you!

Post # 5
5787 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2014

Since it was a cash gift, I think it’s perfectly reasonable to casually ask the couple something like “we left a card with a gift in your card box (or wherever you put it) and just wanted to check that it found its way to you!”

For all you know, there’s a stack of cards hiding in a box somewhere that they don’t even know exist, and you might be prompting them to go look through their stuff.

Post # 6
9412 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

@CookieCreamCakes:  It should never take a year to send out thank you cards. That’s absolutely ridiculous. Maybe I will start taking a year to give a gift and see if the marriage lasts first 😛

In this case, I would say something. In the future though, you should write a cheque instead of giving actual cash. That way you know when they get it!

Post # 7
2782 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

@CookieCreamCakes:  I agree- but April??  While life is super busy- by waiting THAT long to write thank yous- it’s basically saying that the gifts that were given aren’t that importnant and it’s an afterthought.  After work, relationship and kids (if you have one already)- Thank You cards after a wedding should hit the top of the list (before, shopping, the gym, socializing, etc….)- I know they SEEM like they will take forever, but you don’t have to write a novel.  It’s simple acknowledgement.  I just cranked out almost 20 in and hour last week for my shower (which is a reminder that I have to finish them!!)

Post # 10
4638 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

I would be concerned about the gift not being received, especially if they were prompt with the other thank you’s.. but I’m not sure how I’d approach it. I’d probably confirm it was received and not care too much about them thinking I was being rude or fishing for a thank you.

I gave a generous cash gift for my ‘best friends’ wedding and didn’t get a formal or informal thank you. Truthfully after reading your post, it could’ve very well never been received by her. But she knows I brought an envelope so I’m thinking she just never felt the need to thank me or anyone else.


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