Post # 1
I have a bit of a problem I could use some advice on. My FI and I have been talking about our bridal party lately and I really want him to include my brother in the groomsmen. Therefore I feel like I should include one of his sisters as a bridesmaid. My problem…..he has 6 sisters! I really like them all so I don’t know how to go about picking one to be a bridesmaid without hurting the others feelings. So here are my options I’ve thought of, tell me what you think:
A) Draw name from a hat
B) Pick the sister I am closest with
C) Pick the sister closest to my age
D)Don’t include any of them to spare their feelings
E) Other, please explain below
Thanks Bees! I appreciate your help.
Post # 3
make the sister you’re closest with a bm, and give the others a role at the wedding.
Post # 4
Either have them all or don’t have any. Just because your fi picked your brother you don’t owe him to have someone on your side.
But you can easily include them on “bridal party” things, bachelorette party, planning appointments if they want… You could even get them a gift and give it to them at the rehearsal dinner with a little speech about how much his sisters mean to you. 🙂
I have two sisters and quite a few really close friends, but I want a REALLY small wedding party so (when I was engaged before) I decided to just have my sisters up there with me as maid and maitron of honor and honor my friends at the rehearsal dinner and include them in all of the wedding activities… I called them honorary bridesmaids and lured them in with “you get to be involved in as much of the wedding as you want, you get to relax during the ceremony AND you get to wear whatever you want!” A few were a little bummed, but then they really liked the idea and understood where I was coming from.
Post # 5
Is he close to one of them more then the others? You could make a couple readers or let them hand out programs
Post # 6
My personal opinion is to have his sisters AND your brother take on different roles within the ceremony. Your brother could just be an usher or do a reading. His sisters could do readings, hand out programs, if they have a talent (singing, instrument experience) I would try to use that. I think your FI should pick who he wants and you pick who you want. He and you are in no way obligated to include each others family members. Just my honest opinion though. I wish you the best! 🙂
Post # 7
Just something to add. My brother is not my only sibling. I have two brothers and 3 sisters. Therefore including all of our siblings to do something in the wedding is pretty much impossible. One of my sisters is my MOH and I’m really close with one brother so I would like him to be in the bridal party. I have no problem not including all my siblings in the wedding and they won’t be upset by it. However, I just don’t want to be offensive to his siblings by picking and choosing.
Post # 8
That is difficult. :/ I guess what I would do is have who I wanted from my family to stand on my side with me (male/female alike) and let your FI choose if he wants any of his sisters to stand on his side. I have seen this done before and I personally think it is a nice way to include who you want and allow your FI to include who he wants from his family. 🙂
Post # 9
There really isn;t a one-size-fits-all solution since every family is different. Whom you pick as your attendants is your decision and whomever your fiance picks as his attendants is his decision. While you may wish to have your siblings stand up on his side, only your fiance can make the final decision. As far as your attendants, they should be whomever you are closest to (in terms of friendship and emotional support). Obviously with multiple siblings, it’s natural that you won;t be close to every single one of them, and most people in that situation are actually not offended at all if one gets picked over the other. At the same time, you don;t have to pick any of his sisters, nor does he have to pick your siblings.
Post # 10
I think your FI should pick which of his sisters he would want in the wedding party. If he doesn’t have any that he’s close enough to to care, then don’t have any of them.
Post # 11
Why don’t YOU include your brother on your side? Then it’s your SO’s decision to include his sisters. It’s sticky when you start picking his siblings.
Post # 12
I think @arclee: and @ejs4y8: had good suggestions. I would do one of those things.
Post # 13
would it bother him if his sisters werent in the wedding? maybe they could do a reading or something? my FI has 7 sisters! and 5 brothers. Im pretty close with a few of them but i didnt want to pick and choose so none of them are in my bridal party. luckily one of his sisters is 6…so she will be our flower girl.
Post # 14
Thanks for the suggestions ladies. Still not sure what I’m going to do but you’ve definitely given me something to think about.
Post # 15
@PuntaCanaBride: even though i dont have them in the wedding party i am still including all of them in showers and bachelorette party! 🙂