My step mom, who's notorious for being late, slow and behind is throwing me a shower with the help of her sister.
For over a month they have been saying they will pick a date, and to leave the 3 weekeds in July open (excluding the 4th.)
Well I'm still waiting and I have things I need to book, with an August wedding weekends are going fast and I haven't much time to keep waiting. I've explained this over and over, but I don't want to seem rude and pushy.
However when I tossed out the idea of booking something onone of these weekeds my step mom seemed really annoyed that I would do that.
I'm a plan a head gal, and if I have meetings with vendors to do, church things, a zillion other things that need to get done I can't be leaving a whole month of weekends open esp. the month before the wedding?
I have nothing profound to say here, but my initial reaction was what if someone else said something. Because coming from you, it looks like you're ungrateful or something (we know that's not true, obviously.. a girl just needs to plan, I understand!). How about your fiance, or your dad, or one of your bridesmaids. They could ask if she needs help with anything. Or they would like to start on the invitations or something, "oh, what was the date again?" Something non-threatening like that. Are your bridesmaids going to be helping with the shower? If not, maybe your fiance could ask her and say "oh, what day was the shower, we were invited *here* this particular weekend, would that be ok? Something like that... good luck!
Maybe a white lie would help keep feelings from getting hurt here. Perhaps tell her that someone (ie your mom, one of your bridesmaids, your FMIL) are only available one weekend in July and you REALLY want her to be there. Ask your step mom if it would be possible to have it that weekend because it's so important to you that this person be there.
If you have to book things, I would go ahead. And then they will just have to work around you. Your meetings with vendors, etc, HAVE to be done. The shower is nice, but optional. It's only going to stress you out to leave things up in the air and worry about what they are doing, so go ahead and fill up your calendar. When they get around to asking, they will have to take what is left.
Rosychicklet's idea is also good - manipulative and underhanded, but good. If you are comfortable with that, I'd go for it. Although once I had told them what weekend your imaginary friend is available, I'd go ahead and make sure you're also only available that weekend.
My step mom, who's notorious for being late, slow and behind is throwing me a shower with the help of her sister.
For over a month they have been saying they will pick a date, and to leave the 3 weekeds in July open (excluding the 4th.)
Well I'm still waiting and I have things I need to book, with an August wedding weekends are going fast and I haven't much time to keep waiting. I've explained this over and over, but I don't want to seem rude and pushy.
However when I tossed out the idea of booking something onone of these weekeds my step mom seemed really annoyed that I would do that.
I'm a plan a head gal, and if I have meetings with vendors to do, church things, a zillion other things that need to get done I can't be leaving a whole month of weekends open esp. the month before the wedding?
What would you do?
posted by Sweeney2Be 2 months agoI have nothing profound to say here, but my initial reaction was what if someone else said something. Because coming from you, it looks like you're ungrateful or something (we know that's not true, obviously.. a girl just needs to plan, I understand!). How about your fiance, or your dad, or one of your bridesmaids. They could ask if she needs help with anything. Or they would like to start on the invitations or something, "oh, what was the date again?" Something non-threatening like that. Are your bridesmaids going to be helping with the shower? If not, maybe your fiance could ask her and say "oh, what day was the shower, we were invited *here* this particular weekend, would that be ok? Something like that... good luck!
posted by LeahB 2 months agoMaybe a white lie would help keep feelings from getting hurt here. Perhaps tell her that someone (ie your mom, one of your bridesmaids, your FMIL) are only available one weekend in July and you REALLY want her to be there. Ask your step mom if it would be possible to have it that weekend because it's so important to you that this person be there.
posted by rosychicklet 2 months agoIf you have to book things, I would go ahead. And then they will just have to work around you. Your meetings with vendors, etc, HAVE to be done. The shower is nice, but optional. It's only going to stress you out to leave things up in the air and worry about what they are doing, so go ahead and fill up your calendar. When they get around to asking, they will have to take what is left.
Rosychicklet's idea is also good - manipulative and underhanded, but good. If you are comfortable with that, I'd go for it. Although once I had told them what weekend your imaginary friend is available, I'd go ahead and make sure you're also only available that weekend.
posted by suzanno 2 months ago