7 days…I don't want to be the bride :(

posted 3 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
1560 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I’m an ecore bride and I will tell you at my first wedding, once you’re in the moment, all the people fade away and you’re focused on your groom and how happy you are, During the ceremony I didn’t even notice anyone looking at me, at the reception I was just enjoying time with my friend dancing and laughing. I think you will feel the same.

@MrsBlah:  

Post # 4
Member
2620 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

make it about YOUR DAY not just you but your groom… if you dont want to walk down the aisle ask ur husband to be if he will walk to you…

Post # 7
Member
4540 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2014 - Royalton White Sands

@MrsBlah:  I totally understand! I hate being the center of attention too, but I can stand in front of kids and teach, no problem.

Post # 8
Member
2358 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

i feel ya. i also am dreading having all eyes on me. trying on dresses was the worst with all the consultants staring at me as i walked in and out of the dressing room over and over. i had issues with my veil and have had to go back in the salon a few times and the girls all gather around me and i know theyre just waiting for me to have a bridezilla freak out or something. i hate it! i HATED taking engagement pictures, it was so awkward (tho they turned out unbelieveable, so i know we had a genius photographer) and so im dreading my day-of photography too,

i dont want ppl looking at my dress, hair, makeup, decoration style and choices, etc. i feel like they will be criticizing me in their mind. so we decided to do a DW and only invite the closest family and best friends. we r not having a bridal party at all. so we will also not have dancing, tosses, games, and will do an extremely short ceremony with standard ‘repeat after me’ vows.

i agree w/a PP that everyone else will probably be invisible to me as my ceremony unfolds, and i am visualizing the reception to be just like all of us gathering together to go to dinner for someones birthday.

best of luck and try to enjoy ur amazingly wonderful sounding boat wedding! 

Post # 9
Member
469 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@MrsBlah:  WOW someone else who feels just like me!!  I, too, am minimizing our exposure at the center of forty people’s attention by having a midday lunch boat wedding with a captain officiant.  We are leaving the site after the boat returns and going away in a vintage Rolls to a hotel 30 miles away, just the two of us so we have time alone on our wedding day.

 

For me I think there are two factors:  I hated going to weddngs, as I usually went stag, and I hate all the expectations around the whole notion of “wedding.”  Most of my planning has been around mitigating these concerns.  I have a list of tasks for day-of that I will assign to relatives and am trying to match the tasks with available relatives–i.e. everyone will have ONE thing to do so if they don’t pay too close attention when I give them instructions, it will be obvious if they’re screwing it up to me and hopefully, them as well.

 

I will be practicing my thank-you speech for the guests at Toastmasters.  Part of me feels that’s impersonal, but a short speech meant for 40 people is by its nature impersonal.

 

Having a schedule for the day I hope will help. The venue coordinator has been good about answering emails with questions as they come up.

What makes me sad is that whatever romantic feelings I had about hosting a wedding with my FI has been lost in the planning details; waiting for RSVPs really feels like it’s about being a good hostess.  Hopefully on the actual day the romanticism of spending all this money on it all will come back.

Post # 12
Member
2276 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

@MrsBlah:  I felt the same way. I broke out in hives a few days before the wedding (never have done that). I distarcted myself and kept busy doing things that I enjoyed to help with my anxiety. Also, I thought about focusing on my DH. He would be right there with me the whole time to hold my hand, and that made ALL the difference. I didnt even notice anyone else during the wedding. It literally felt like it was just the two of us up there.

 

 

Post # 13
Member
85 posts
Worker bee

@MrsBlah:  I HATE being the center of attention. I don’t want to be the bride on my wedding day 🙁 I’m fine with public speaking, I can argue a motion in court, give a speech or training to a big crowd, but I just do NOT want to be the “bride.” Has anyone else felt like this?

YES. I don’t mind being the center of attention in front of tons of people if the focus is something else, so I’m fine with public speaking, giving a presentation, performing (music). Do I want to be the center of attention as the BRIDE? No, it doesn’t seem appealing at all. So I understand perfectly.

Your wedding sounds really really lovely though. I like how you’ve cut out most of the “center of attention” aspects like the cake cutting, the dancing, the headtable. That’s what we’d like to do as well. 

Post # 14
Member
297 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@AirForceWife78:  +1

OP, I was saying the same thing to my FSIL yesterday and this is the EXACT answer she gave me. Good luck! I know how you feel, but I have a feeling the advice we’ve been given will be accurate 🙂

Post # 15
Member
590 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I was worried because I don’t like being center of attention at all, have never kiss my DH in front of any family or really shown any PDA to them, etc. The day of the wedding we kissed I don’t know how many times if front of everyone and I really didn’t care. It was weird cause I wasn’t even worried about what everyone thought nor did I even think about or notice how everyone might have been staring at me.

Post # 16
Member
285 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

*puts hand up in air*

this is me also!! So I’ve opted for a destination wedding. Just me and my OH. No parents, nothing. And me and him are walking down the aisle together! Couldn’t stand the thought of everyone staring at me, first dance, cake cutting, etc. our reception when we get back home will just be a party. With a cake but no formal cutting. I even hate the thought of parents seeing me in my dress etc and getting emotionaL. Nope. Not for me. 

Yet I can quite easily get up on stage and sing my heart out with my two bands. 

Weird. 

 

Good luck with your big day. 🙂 

 

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