7 Years – He's Got The Ring – What's Up?

posted 3 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
4441 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 2013 - Harbourfront Grand Hall

@RheaIzar:  Does he know that you know he has the ring?  If so, I think it’s time for a chat about wtf is going on!

Post # 5
Member
4441 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 2013 - Harbourfront Grand Hall

@RheaIzar:  Hasn’t had the chance to what?  It’s been 7 years, maybe he SHOULD feel pressured!

Post # 6
Member
123 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2016

I think he might know that you know and probably wants to throw you off track to surprise you. 🙂 I wouldn’t worry quite yet. But if it continues a lot longer I’d say you should talk to him. By the way, are you 100% sure he’s got a ring ?

Post # 7
Member
18 posts
Newbee

I think maybe a little chat is necessary here. A teensy nudge, like a “hey, sooo, remember how a few months ago we did that thing?…” Since you designed the ring with him and you know he has it, I just don’t really see the point of a grand proposal. At this point, if it was me and I was waiting SEVEN years, I would just want it on my damn hand! Who cares how! Is this something that is important to the both of you? Has he talked about wanting to propose in some special way? Can you compromise and maybe just go out to a nice dinner where he’ll give you the ring and you can “celebrate?” Just a few thoughts out there. But by all means, if a surprise is something you definitely want, then I think a few hints here and there, just to get him a little on edge, wouldn’t hurt.

Post # 8
Member
193 posts
Blushing bee

7 years? Sigh. All the money you could have saved … 🙁

 

 

 

“In the Atlantic Monthly’s “The High Price of Being Single in America,” authors Lisa Arnold and Christina Campbell argue that, compared to a married woman of the same income, over the course of her lifetime, a single woman could pay an extra $1,022,096 — just for being single.”      from MSN money

 

 

 

IMO thats not being smart with your resources. I would get my affairs in order and propose to him in the way you know he would love. If hes Sensitive, he probably would love it – takes the pressure off of him in “doing it the right way”. As long as you know hes sensitive, and you can live with it, why not propose? You are both costing you time and money, where it could be spent on both of your new lives together. Unless you have lots of time and money, i dont think its crazy for you to propose to him – in fact I think its wise and prudent and unusual and will make a great story to tell the future grandkids 🙂

Post # 9
Member
41 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: July 2015

Sometimes guys think they need to do some big over the top proposal.  If you’re tired of waiting maybe you could mention to him that any way that he decides to do it will be special.  It might take some of the pressure off and speed things along. 

If you don’t think that’s why he’s waiting, maybe you could mention to him how difficult it is waiting.  I don’t think men understand how it feels to have absolutely no control over something that is so important.  Maybe hearing how it’s tearing you up inside might encourage him to make sure he gets the “chance” to propose soon. 

Good luck! Waiting is torture!!

Post # 10
Member
2562 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

He isn’t allowed to be sensitive about this – he made ALL the motions and hasn’t made a move. A partner being sensitive on major issues does not help any marriage.

You need to talk with him, and if talking about getting married/proposing hurts his feelings…. I don’t know what to say about that… it’s a bit strange and slightly suspicious. It makes me wonder – is he scared? Nervous? Does he have some grand plan? Is he terrified because he has no plan? Did he suddenly decide against it? Are there other reasons?

You don’t need to tell him what to do, but at least tell him how your feel.

Good luck.

Post # 11
Member
3637 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

I know it’s hard, but you only spoke about it a month ago. For whatever (sometimes stupid) reason guys want you to be suprised when they ask, somehow they don’t understand that we are on the lookout all day, everyday for any signs of it happening. 

You designed it together so most likely he wants to wait as long as he can so “regain” some surprise. The less you talk about it the more likely he is to think that you aren’t thinking about it/have forgotten about it (yeah right! silly men) and therefore propose.

Many, many waiting Bees have had their men talk about how they waited until they weren’t talking about it to “surprise” them. 

You know that he loves you, you know that he is thinking about it (he got the ring and sees it everytime he gets socks), you know he has the ring – the only thing he is waiting for is the perfect time, let him have his moment. It will happen. 🙂

Post # 13
Member
525 posts
Busy bee

Is it possible he is waiting for a different time to propose? It’s not like he’s had the ring THAT long, and maybe he thought your anniversary was nice but not his ideal day. 

If you really can’t wait, then I agree you should bring it up. 

Post # 16
Member
592 posts
Busy bee

@RheaIzar:  I can offer no advice, only empathy. My SO has had the ring for quite some time as well and obviously I’m still a waiting bee. I understand it. My SO is the sensitive and thoughtful type too so he can never articulate himself when I try and ask him what’s going on in the engagement department. Which leaves me trying to piece together what he means from sober ambiguous answers and drunken confusing answers. 

However I can say we’ve been together less time. After seven years, you should have no qualms bringing it up, even if he is sensitive. For your peace of mind, you two should sit down and try to find a timeframe you are both comfortable with. That way you can have some peace in knowing things aren’t up in the air indefinitely. I personally feel that would be a fair approach. 

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