Post # 1
I have only been to two-four weddings, so I am not too familiar with a lot of the tradition. I initially did not want to do the whole unity candle thing – but then received gasps from all the parents.
My mother and father are divorced and then remarried – my fiancees mother and father are both divorced and remarried – and they will all be in attendance. So how does this whole unity candle thing work with such a blended family?
I am so confused about who’s lighting what! I’ve been looking for answers online but am more confused at this point. I have a feeling that I include someone but not another that there will be a lot of drama and anger.
What did you ladies do/are planning to do? Any other alternatives, suggestions? Or is it just me & him lighting candles? I read someplace also that usually it is just the mothers…
Post # 3
Generally (at least in the unity candle ceremonies I’ve seen) the MOB and the MOG light the candle for their child. Then the children take those candles and light the single unity candle. It represents the coming together of the two families and two life journey’s to create on family, one flame. I figure you know that but figured it would help explain an alternative. It seems like this might be difficult to do with multiple candles. However, a sand ceremony might be a great alternative for you guys. Each parent could bring a container of sand. You mother and husband and your father and wife could come up and pour their sand into a container representing you. Same thing for your FI’s family. Then the two of you could take that sand and pour it into a single container. It could help you incorporate everyone and let everyone contribute. Plus, it really signifies the blending of so many people. Good luck!!
Post # 4
I have also heard that the mother’s light the side candle. Maybe give out roses to each set of parents to make them all feel special and included? Just an idea that I have seen work before in addition to the unity candle.
I also like the sand idea from above as well, great idea.